Lil Nas X Shouldn’t Have to ‘Explain’ His Decision to Come Out
Lil Nas X has just opened up about his decision to come out of the closet. In an episode of HBO's The Shop, he explained to a roomful of men from the worlds of comedy, music and sport why he felt it was important to tell the world who he was after his song 'Old Town Road' went viral.
"With all that early success, you felt it was important to make an announcement," said Paul Rivera, referring to Lil Nas X coming out as gay via Twitter during the height of the song's record-breaking 19 week streak at the Number 1 spot. ""Why did you feel it was necessary to come out and say that?" Fellow guest Kevin Hart interrupted: "He said he was gay, so what?"
When he could finally get a word in, Lil Nas X said: "It's not like being forced. It's just like knowing, growing up, I'm growing up to hate this shit, I'm not supposed to ever like this."
"Hate what?" Asked Hart.
"Homosexuality. Gay people." Lil Nas X responded. When Hart asked why, Lil Nas X said: "Come on now. If you're really from the hood, you know... So it's like, for me, the cool dude with the song on top of everything, to say this at any other time, I'm like doing this for attention, in my eyes. But if you're doing this while you're at the top, you know it's like for real... and it doesn't really matter, I guess."
Lil Nas X is a gift. He continues to be courageous and wise. But putting him in a situation to be gaslit by known homophobes about his choice to come out is terrible. pic.twitter.com/AAsGSlzmb0
— Frederick Joseph (@FredTJoseph) September 4, 2019
The clip received criticism on Twitter, specifically for the optics of Lil Nas X being required to "explain" or "justify" his coming out to Kevin Hart, who famously went on an apology tour earlier this year for some old tweets in which he joked about beating his son if he found him playing with dolls. The video begs the question: if Hart were truly sorry for those old remarks, and had done any kind of work to educate himself about LGBTQ+ issues, then surely he wouldn't need a young gay man to explain the concept of homophobia to him?
The gaslighting and lack of care in that Lil Nas x clip is maddening. I have low hopes for the rest of it.
Watching folks who joke and bash queer people finally come face to face with one and “what do you mean” him about his fears of coming out is trash.
.— George M Johnson (@IamGMJohnson) September 4, 2019
"Who cares?" is a common refrain among straight people when members of the LGBTQ+ community openly discuss their sexuality or gender identity. On the surface, it's a fairly innocuous thing to say; it can even be interpreted as accepting. But when someone says "who cares?", what it often masks is an unwillingness to reckon with the discrimination, violence and other issues that are specific to being queer, as well as a reluctance to acknowledge the ways that they individually perpetuate homophobic or transphobic ideas (as Hart's old tweets did).
There's also a very easy answer to the question of "who cares?", and that's: lots of people. LGBTQ+ representation in pop culture is still so scarce that the significance of a gay black Gen Z rapper breaking music industry records and holding the Number 1 spot for 19 weeks in a row cannot be understated.
I'm so sorry @LilNasX . You had to be in a room full of assholes. It was extremely important for you to come out because they hasn't been an openly queer artist who is successful in the mainstream media. It had to be done so other queer artist can have the platform as well.
— ??Here Comes the Sun?? (@HalfASun) September 4, 2019
Coming out is a decision which impacts pretty much every aspect of your life, both private and professional; for instance, it is still legal for a company to fire an employee for being LGBTQ+ in 17 states. In the entertainment industry specifically, being out can limit the number of opportunities an artist has access to: actress Kristen Stewart recently gave an interview in which she described the pressure she felt not to disclose her bisexuality, reportedly even being told "you might get a Marvel movie" if she stopped holding her girlfriend's hand in public.
Lil Nas X will have known before coming out that it might affect his career. He might even have had record execs advising him against it. But he did it anyway, because he remembered how it felt to be growing up believing he shouldn't feel a certain way, and he wanted to be the "cool dude with the song" who shows young people they don't have to deal with that alone. Kevin Hart might not care about them, but Lil Nas X does.
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