All the Mac Miller References in Ariana Grande's 'In My Head' Lyrics
Several songs on Ariana Grande's Thank U, Next album touch on her past romantic relationships with Pete Davidson, Mac Miller, and more-some more directly than others. But "In My Head" is a standout track on the album that led some to speculate even before its release today that Grande wrote it in part about Mac Miller.
Ahead of Thank U, Next's release, Grande opened up about the song's meaning. "In My Head" is about "being in love w a version of somebody you've created in your head. Falling for someone that they are not," Grande wrote.
The lyrics are poignantly real about this disparity-and may just hint Miller is an inspiration for this song after all. Here, the lyrics to analyze, via Genius, with possible Miller references highlighted:
Intro: Doug Middlebrook:
Here's the thing: you’re in love with a version of a person that you've created in your head, that you are trying to but cannot fix. Uh, the only thing you can fix is yourself. I love you, this has gone on way too long. Enough is enough. I'm two blocks away; I’m coming over
Grande teased on Twitter that her friend Doug would be appearing on the album and that he had helped her through some "very difficult moments."
She also opened up about how hard things were with Miller in a statement she posted to her Twitter in May, months before Miller passed away due to an apparent drug overdose. She wrote to a fan: "I have cared for him and tried to support his sobriety and prayed for his balance for years (and always will of course) but shaming/blaming women for a man’s inability to keep his shit together is a very major problem. Let’s please stop doing that. Of course I didn’t share about how hard or scary it was while it was happening but it was. I will continue to pray from the bottom of my heart that he figures it all out and that any other woman in this position does as well."
- Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) May 23, 2018
Verse 1: Ariana Grande:
Painted a picture; I thought I knew you well
I got a habit of seeing what isn't there
Caught in the moment, tangled up in your sheets
When you broke my heart, I said you only wanted half of me
Pre-Chorus: Ariana Grande:
My imagination's too creative
They see demon, I see angel, angel, angel
Without a halo, wingless angel
Grande has consistently called Miller an angel in her music and on her social media. In "Thank U, Next," she sang, "Wish I could say thank you to Malcolm/'Cause he was an angel." And on Instagram, she talked about the disparity between the angel she saw and the demons he fought with his drug addiction in her first written tribute to him after his death. "I adored you from the day I met you when I was nineteen and I always will," she wrote. "I can’t believe you aren’t here anymore. I really can’t wrap my head around it. We talked about this. So many times. I’m so mad, I’m so sad I don’t know what to do. you were my dearest friend. For so long. Above anything else. I’m so sorry I couldn’t fix or take your pain away. I really wanted to. The kindest, sweetest soul with demons he never deserved. I hope you’re okay now. Rest."
Chorus: Ariana Grande:
Falling, falling, but I never thought you'd leave me
Falling, falling, needed something to believe in, oh
Grande touches again on the point she's made on social media previously: She couldn't imagine losing Miller forever so young when he died. As she wrote on Instagram, "I can’t believe you aren’t here anymore. I really can’t wrap my head around it."
I thought that you were the one
But it was all in my head
It was all in my head (Skrrt, skrrt)
When Grande confirmed her split with Miller on Instagram in early May, she wrote about how she thought she and Miller would remain close for the rest of their lives. "Hi! This is one of my best friends in the whole world and favorite people on the planet Malcolm McCormick," Grande wrote over a photo of them cuddling. "I respect and adore him endlessly and am grateful to have him in my life in any form, at all times regardless of how our relationship changes or what the universe holds for each of us! Unconditional love is not selfish. It is wanting the best for that person even if at the moment, it’s mot you. I can’t wait to know and support you forever and I’m so proud of you!!"
Post-Chorus: Ariana Grande:
Yeah, look at you, boy, I invented you
Your Gucci tennis shoes runnin' from your issues
Cardio good for the heart (For the heart, for the heart)
I figure we can work it out, hmm
In her May Twitter post after their breakup, Grande wrote about how hard she tried to support Miller. "I have cared for him and tried to support his sobriety and prayed for his balance for years (and always will of course)," she wrote. Their relationship ended because she ultimately needed to care for herself too. "Of course I didn’t share about how hard or scary it was while it was happening but it was," she wrote. "I will continue to pray from the bottom of my heart that he figures it all out and that any other woman in this position does as well."
Verse 2: Ariana Grande:
Painted a picture; I thought I drew you well
I had a vision of seeing what isn't there
Caught in the moment, tangled up in your sheets
When you broke my heart, said you only wanted half of me
Pre-Chorus: Ariana Grande:
My imagination's too creative
As Genius users point out, Grande's song "Imagine" is also believed to be about Mac Miller.
They see Cain and I see Abel (Abel), Abel (Abel), Abel (Abel)
I know you're able, pullin’ an Abel
This is a reference to brothers Cain and Abel in the Bible. Cain ultimately murdered Abel, whose sacrifice God favored over Cain's. In the case of Miller, Grande may be talking about the public's perception of him with his drug issues versus her own.
Chorus: Ariana Grande:
Falling, falling, but I never thought you’d leave me
Falling, falling, needed something to believe in, oh
I thought that you were the one
But it was all in my head
It was all in my head (Skrrt, skrrt)
Post-Chorus: Ariana Grande:
Yeah, look at you, boy, I invented you
Your Gucci tennis shoes runnin' from your issues
Cardio good for the heart (For the heart, for the heart)
I figure we can work it out, hmm
Bridge: Ariana Grande:
Wanted you to grow, but, boy, you wasn’t budding
Everything you are made you everything you aren't
Grande may be writing about her desire to see Miller fully stick to sobriety and how his musical talent ("everything you are") led to fame and the spotlight, which came at the expense of his health.
I saw your potential without seein' credentials (-Entials)
Maybe that's the issue (Yeah, yeah)
Said maybe that’s the issue, ah
Can't hold that shit against you, ah
Yes, I did it to myself, yeah
Thought you were somebody else, you
Outro:
Thought you were somebody else, you (You)
Thought you were somebody else, you
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