14 Questions Men Say They're "Too Afraid" To Ask Women IRL — Answered In Detail By Women On The Internet
It's completely natural for people to be curious about the opposite sex. So when Reddit user u/Asking35 asked: "Men, what is something about women you are curious about but too afraid to ask?" — women were quick to answer questions about everything from relationships to sex to even home decor choices. Here's what they said:
1."Do you actually like it when a man approaches you with the intention of asking you on a date? I don't mean catcalling and that sort of weird shit, just being genuine and straightforward."
Answer #1: "Depends a little on the how. If it's someone I've already met a couple of times, like a colleague/fellow student or friend of a friend, I don't mind if he is forward and asks me out — that confidence is attractive, and something I'd envy in him, lol.
If it's someone I don't know or just met, I prefer if he gives me his contact information rather than asking for mine. I'll most likely say no if it is the latter.
Something simple like, 'Hey, I really enjoyed talking to you and would like to go out sometime to get to know you better. Here's my number.' That puts me less on the spot and if he's not my type, there won't be the awkwardness of immediate rejection. But that's just me."
Answer #2: "Yes, but PLEASE be straightforward and say 'date.' I had a man ask for coffee, and I thought it meant as friends since he was kind and seemed polite. I’m also autistic so I don’t see social cues."
Answer #3: "No. When someone approaches me, I instantly put my guard up. I’d rather get to know someone through work, mutual friends, hobbies, or other shared interactions where I’m in a relaxed environment and feel comfortable opening up to them about whatever common factor brought us together in the first place.
Having that icebreaker makes the situation a lot less awkward and doesn’t put me on the defensive like cold approaches do. It allows me to talk to the guy and get a glimpse of his personality, which will make me way more receptive to being asked out unlike when total strangers accost me on the street for date requests."
2."What’s with all the pillows?"
Answer #1: They make this glorious nest so I can sleep on my side without my hips tightening overnight, support behind my back and shoulders, support against my boobs, good positioning for my arms and legs, etc.
It's wonderfully comfy and cozy."
Answer #2: "My husband calls it a 'tuckings' he props the pillows around my body VERY SPECIFICALLY. And when he's done, I say, 'Proper tuckings. Well done, Sparky.'"
Answer #3: "Pillow nest. Pillows = sit propped up while shoving junk food in your face hole and watching Netflix/Hulu. Pure joy and comfort."
3."Do y'all change pads when it's full, half, or even a tiny bit? That has to be uncomfortable, like wearing wet diapers."
Answer #1: "Pads are designed to trap moisture away from the skin, so for the most part, they are pretty dry, and the labia can stay wet from blood passing. When pads are 'full' is when the wet diaper feeling starts happening, and it feels gross."
Answer #2: "I usually do when I pee because I’m a clean freak and have sensory issues. So usually every two hours, but the longest has been four. Even if I didn’t bleed, I change it due to sweat/body oils, anything — and baby wipes are a godsend for that time."
Answer #3: "Depends how heavy the flow is, but usually when it's a little more than half full. I try not to be wasteful, but I also have sensitive skin, so leaving the same one on for too long can cause irritation even if it's not full. Sometimes it'll get bunched up, which makes leaking more likely to happen, and I have to change it early.
It's sort of like wearing a diaper, but the volume of blood that comes out is actually a lot less than urine, so it doesn't get as heavy as a diaper would. But it is bulky and annoying. I wish I could wear tampons or cups, but I can't stand having anything inside of me while I'm walking around."
4."Do y'all ever wear heels just to hear the clip-clopping of them on the pavement like you're the main character in a movie? Because that's what I'd do if I wore heels, and I want to know if there's a woman out there whose brain is on my wavelength or if this is just me."
Answer #1: "Yup — but the feeling is stronger when I'm walking in a fancy building."
Answer #2: "I choose my heels by a) how they look and b) how they sound. If they are quiet, I don’t usually get them."
Answer #3: "I hate heels but I grudgingly bought a pair of sensible office heels when I got into this new job and honestly, very few feelings come close to how I feel when I come walking in each morning, clip-clopping on my heels with a nice pair of pants and a cup of coffee in hand. Boss bitch energy supreme."
5."Why do you steal my food?"
Answer #1: "You mean why am I eating our food?"
Answer #2: "If we steal your food, you know what we like and we show you that we trust and like you. We don't do that with people we don't like."
Answer #3: "I don’t. I have MY food and you have YOUR food, I’m jealous about my food and I respect that with others."
6."Why can some women get vaginal orgasms and others cant?"
Answer #1: "So the clitoris and the g-spot are actually just one organ! Which parts are larger, closer to the vaginal canal, and other aspects are different from woman to woman though. These differences determine which women can experience vaginal orgasms."
Answer #2: "I think it has a lot to do with positioning and sensitivity. I can 100% have a clitoral orgasm each time either from oral or him/me stimulating my clitoris while he’s stroking. This is guaranteed. I can also have a vaginal orgasm but the strokes have to be harder, deeper, and faster sometimes in missionary but definitely in doggy position. If it’s a particular passionate session, I’m able to have both."
Answer #3: "I wish I knew. I (28f) have never orgasmed in my life and I can’t figure out how to change that."
7."Asking as a guy from a country where men are given little to no education about women's health and vice-versa. How can I help someone who's having a really bad time during their period?"
Answer #1: "Don't treat it as something disgusting. Keep a trashcan in your bathroom. Keep Pamprin or Midol on hand."
Answer #2: "Advil/Tylenol helps a lot with cramps. I recommend starting taking it before the pain starts, it’s more effective that way.
Heat pads, tea, and things to snack on like chocolate or cookies.
Have some tampons and pads available in your bathroom along with a trash can with a lid."
Answer #3: "Ask what you can do for them. Different people have different needs and comforts. I like a heated blanket and a mug of tea, but some people prefer only cold drinks or don't need heat because their cramps aren't terrible. My wife usually offers to cook or gets takeout when I'm cramping because she knows I don't want to cook or deal with food."
8."How much pleasure do you get from going down on a man?"
Answer #1: "It's going to vary from person to person. Frankly, I don't get any physical pleasure from it. The most I get from it is kind of like an ego boost. Like, yeah, I made him feel great. I guess that is a type of pleasure, though. But yeah, it's not physical, at least for me."
Answer #2: "Hearing him moan from what I’m doing to him turns me on and makes sex so much hotter. But that’s just me."
Answer #3: "I'm an ace who doesn't mind oral sex. It's nice to know that you're taking care of someone you're close to. It's a mental thing I think."
9."How can I present myself so that a woman would feel more comfortable approaching me? I don’t want to bother anyone by initiating a conversation, but I do want to seem approachable when I’m out doing things solo. I’ve been told I appear intimidating and aloof, but I’m super friendly if anyone talks to me."
Answer #1: "A touch of aloofness is fine, and can actually be attractive. However, you must occasionally make eye contact, even if only for a second or two. Smile, if you think I'm attractive, but don't force out a '5th grade Picture Day' fake smile. That just makes you look like a barista at Starbucks trying to fake your way to a good tip. As for the intimidating aura, you need to drop your shoulders a bit, and come across as more relaxed and cool (what 'cool' actually means, not what people think it does)."
Answer #2: "Eye contact and smiling, but when she doesn't want to, she will ignore you. If she likes what she sees, she will smile back and maybe even come over to talk to you."
Answer #3: "Personally, I feel like if you smell good, it doesn’t matter how you look like. Every single woman I know loves when a man smells good. I’d say a man smelling good is an automatic 7."
10."What does sex feel like for you and physically, what is the best part?"
Answer #1: "The best part is the feeling when it just goes in. The gasp is usually real."
Answer #2: "The best part is foreplay. When I'm just starting to get excited before any touching between my legs happens. I love little kisses on my neck and chest, I love my nipples gently twisted and sucked on. I like being tickled on my inner thighs. When the first touch between my legs finally happens, it's a similar feeling to how my mouth feels when I eat sour candy. I like it when my man rubs himself on me on the outside before going all the way in. When he does go in, it feels like the best massage in the world. It feels like my whole body is cocooned in love."
Answer #3: "Understand that every woman is different! I require penetration to orgasm, and going too rough on the clitoris is unpleasant for me; this was especially true when I was younger and my clitoris was very sensitive. The clit is not a magic button for all women, no matter what you've heard. A guy going to town on my clit doesn't do it for me, and for so many men this is their go-to move."
11."Do you admire a guy after he chooses to be vulnerable and bare it all in front of you?"
Answer #1: "Yes. Personally, I have a hard time opening up and just talking about my feelings in general. Whenever my husband does, it makes me feel like I’m doing something right."
Answer #2: "Depends. If it's someone I know who's genuinely opening up, yeah I respect the bravery and trust. If it's someone I've just started talking to and/or they're opening up about some nice guy/incel shit, my respect for them goes way down."
Answer #3: "Yes, it’s the ultimate sign of trust and it’s an incredible turn-on for me. Let me soothe you with my body."
12."What do women check out on men?"
Answer #1: "This is another thing that varies from woman to woman. It’s the same things men look at: a handsome face, a body shape (varies), hair, and clothes. Personality and trustworthiness; though I took your question to mean physically."
Answer #2: "That cake. ??"
Answer #3: "Check out while just passing them? Typically their chest size, shoulders/back, and hair. Features like glasses also draw my eye.
Check out as in getting to know? I look at their overall appearance to see if they care for themselves. I notice their voice and how they talk/text. I also gauge how they react when I speak. I have to know if they appear genuinely interested in who I am."—u/EbonyUmbreon
13."Does butt stuff actually feel good or are you pretending to enjoy it for our sakes?"
Answer #1: "Some do, and some don't. But I will say this: the majority of straight dudes that haven't had anything in their own butt do NOT spend enough time on prep or use enough lube for it to actually feel good and, as a result, a lot of women have had INCREDIBLY painful experiences. That hole is NOT self-lubricating and you gotta have some damn patience."
Answer #2: "Women don't have a prostate, so we don't get the same pleasure of bum-sex as men do. However, dom women do find it enjoyable just for the sensation of being 'filled.' Also, the anal opening (I forgot the technical term) has a bunch of nerves that are good for stimulation, even if no actual penetration is happening."
Answer #3: "I actually just recently realized I like my butt touched. I've never put anything up there, but I like to be touched and I like it when his balls slap my butthole when we are in just the right position, it makes me cum really hard."
14."What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Are you sure?"
"I said I'm fine!"
"Alright!"
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