Men Are Revealing The Last Time They Cried And Why, And This Is An Important Conversation About Masculinity
If you've been on Twitter as of late, you may have seen the speech that Jonathan Majors gave about Michael B. Jordan during Michael's Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony, where a lot of fans took notice of Jonathan's vulnerability.
And since their friendship has been bringing up a lot of discussions about masculinity and how important it is for men to express support and love to one another in vulnerable ways, I thought it would be important to share this Reddit thread where user u/xeowa asked: "Men of Reddit, when did you last cry and why?" to highlight more stories like the above. The answers and responses to them are incredibly sincere and unguarded. Here's what they had to say:
1."Last night, I sent my girlfriend the basic 'good night' message. She replied back with 'I love you.' I sat there and started crying over the fact that she is the most important person in my life, and that I'm so lucky that this woman loves me."
Response #1: "I feel this. I still get butterflies when she texts me."
Response #2: "Time to marry her, boss. Don't wait too long on that one."
2."I was laying on the couch staring at the ceiling, and my eye teared up from being open too long, and I was like, 'I forget how this feels,' so I let them keep going, wasn't sobbing but multiple tears running down. Felt good."
—u/[deleted]
Response #1: "This really resonates with me. It's a good feeling to just let the tears flow."
Response #2: "Thats been me as of late. A long lost feeling ha."
3."I don't remember. I feel so sad and lonely sometimes, but I still can't cry. I wish I could cry like a kid again."
Response #1: "I feel you; sometimes, you just need to force a tear for hours, then the stream will begin. It's a little difficult the first time, although it becomes a great skill after. Crying in private just feels amazing sometimes. It's the definition of relief."
Response #2: "I used to not be able to cry for years as well. I would feel the tears sitting behind a wall, but they would never show themselves.
I started focusing on my mental health. Started opening up to my own feelings, to my sadness. With time, I learned how to cry again. I'm still grateful to be able to cry again.
You are not alone. I truly believe most men can't cry when they feel sad, except when somebody dies or something like that.
You'll get there. Baby steps are the way to go, mate."
4."May 2021. My wife had a cerebral stroke. I thought that I would lose her. I felt like a log at sea, purposeless, aimless. We have a daughter, and I knew that I should remain strong for her, but my wife give me purpose. ... Without her, I'm incomplete. I'm less. Just for God's grace she survived with almost no side effects."
5."Last night, just thinking about my mum."
Response #1: "My mom passed away at 46 years old unexpectedly 10 months ago. I still cry alone in bed two or three times a month. I had gone two months being angry at her and barely talking to her because I didn't agree with some of her decisions. I had just finally made up with her and had dinner at her house on a Friday as a family. That Saturday night, she was at a bar and called me, and we had the funniest conversation I think we've ever had; I was actually crying and laughing.
That Monday I got the call that she collapsed in the bathroom, and my younger brother found her after what we were told by EMTs was an hour since she passed. I still think about how I could have shown my love better and how I could have treated her better every day."
Response #2: "That's the last one for me, too. She got some news recently from the doctors that she doesn't have too long left on this planet. I was pretty solid when she told me, but I thought about if maybe she would want her ashes spread in Hawaii, and that got me."
6."Everyone seems to be posting serious stuff, but actually the last I cried was a few weeks ago when I watched Episode 3 of The Last Of Us."
Response #1: "I was thinking this, too. I teared up at last night's episode, also, but it didn't hit me as hard as last week or Episode 1 or 3.
As a fan of the game, I knew these scenes were coming, but it didn't make it any easier. Especially now that I am a father."
Response #2: "I didn’t cry during the episode, but I did cry about an hour later when I was thinking about the episode. I almost cried during 5 and 6, too, but never passed the threshold.
This 'zombie show' hits way too hard, even more so than the game did."
7."December of last year, my wife shared with me that we are pregnant. It’s something we have both wanted for such a long time. When she showed me the test, I was so happy, I just burst into tears right in front of her."
Response #1: "After a few pregnancies failed, I didn’t want to put too much hope in the pregnancy test. But around week 14, we went and got a scan, heard the heartbeat like a running horse, and the operator told us it was a girl. I cried with joy, thinking we were having a little girl. Great memory. She just turned 2 years old and is just a wonderful little person."
8."I have a cat; one day he got sick, and when the vet checked on him, he said he needed to go to surgery right away. The chances of survival were low. Came back home that day bawling my eyes out thinking it was all over. He was so happy and normal one day, and the next, he was at risk of dying. Luckily, the two surgeries went great, and he survived."
9."A month ago when speaking about the possibility of having to do a long-distance relationship if I get sent to a different state for residency after medical school. I did a LDR with my last girlfriend for three years and have a lot of trauma from it. I swore I’d never do it again. Now, I’m in love with someone new, and I am working on breaking down barriers that I’ve put up to protect myself. I think during the conversation, it all came crashing down emotionally."
Response #1: "I'm in kind of a similar situation myself. I was in a long-distance relationship for years and never wanted to do it again. I had no intentions of doing it again but ended up meeting a girl on a game, and turns out, she doesn't live too far away, so we developed feelings, and I guess I'm back to it, haha. I just hope we close the distance soon because I can't take much more of it now."
10."The end of Marley & Me. It reminded me of my doggo. I had to put him down at 6 years old due to aggressive cancer."
11."Six months in the NICU will break anybody."
Response #1: "Only one month here. I can't imagine six.
Our child went from tiny and intubated to a nationally ranked athlete. I am telling you that so that you can have hope that It can get better, and I am hoping that it does for you and your family."
Response #2: "It was 10 months for us. My son was born 12 weeks early. It really does break you down."
12."Two weeks ago. When it really hit me how much I let my managers abuse me. I quit a few days later, and I start my new job on the 27th."
13."Recent breakup. Everything was going great, and then one day, she just said she wasn't attracted to me. Really hurts one's self-image."
Response #1: "Sorry to hear about that, bud. I had that happen to me as well a few years back. I know there isn't much I can say that can help, but allow yourself to grieve the relationship, but don't let it swallow your life. Time heals all wounds; in time, you will be able to process the heartbreak better, and eventually, it will barely hurt. I would suggest trying to keep yourself busy by engaging in hobbies or just hanging out with some friends. Stay strong, pal."
14."It's been a while since I last cried. But that's not because I'm trying to be tough or anything, I just haven't been in a situation where I felt like crying. I think it's important for guys to recognize that it's okay to cry and show emotions. The last time I cried was when my grandpa passed away a few years ago. It was really tough to say goodbye to him, and I couldn't hold back the tears. It felt good to let it all out, though, and I think it helped me to process my emotions and come to terms with his passing. So, guys, don't be afraid to cry when you need to. It's a sign of strength, not weakness."
Men, do you remember the last time you cried? If so, tell us when and why in the comments below.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-888-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.