Moms Are Sharing How They Knew They Were Ready To Be A Parent, And Some Of These Feelings I Never Even Considered
From what it seems like, feeling completely "ready" to be responsible for another human being's life is slightly unrealistic. It's a huge change that will massively impact anyone's life in ways you can't even be sure of until they happen.
So, when Reddit user u/Screamingcaprisun asked, "For those of you who are moms, how did you realize you were ready to be a parent?" in r/AskWomen, I knew the responses would be full of a range of "preparedness":
1."The biggest one was that there weren’t any major life experiences that I wanted to have in the next few years that wouldn’t be just as good or better with a child. The same for day-to-day life, I felt like I could either fit everything that made me happy around having kids or I wasn’t that fussed to have to cut back or stop doing those things."
"We were financially comfortable; we bought a house; my husband had a well-paid and stable job; I had good maternity leave; we have savings. I can provide the kind of life I want to give my child. I was certain my husband would pull his weight as a father. We didn’t have any big issues in our relationship or any small ones that kept causing aggravation. We’d discussed parenting and knew we planned to do things the same way."
2."When I knew that I could without a doubt put them before myself and my wants and needs and be okay with that. I grew up with a very selfish mum, so I was worried that I'd be the same, but thankfully, I'm not."
3."I have never been a baby or child person, but as the years went by, I realized that it was now or never. Since I was closing in on 40 and didn’t find a suitable guy to make a kid with, I decided to have it on my own. The result is 5 years old now, and he’s the best decision I have ever made. Oh, and also, I wanted my mom to get to be a grandma."
4."I knew I wanted children but wasn’t sure when the right time might be. My husband and I talked about it one night (we had talked about kids multiple times and agreed they were in our future). But hearing him talk about it and seeing the way he lit up at the thought of us as parents soon. It changed my perspective on the entire thing. I knew I was ready; we both were."
5."I’m a planner and a very organized person. So for me, it was basically just the next thing on my to-do list. Which may sound awful, but that’s how I operate. My husband and I had been together for many years; we had a roof over our heads, a stable income, and were both physically and mentally healthy. Neither of us are ‘baby’ people, so we weren’t excited to have a baby, but we did want a family. So it was just the thing we had to do."
"I type this while rocking my 5-month-old to sleep, and now I know that to me, that was the best way to approach it. No one or nothing can prepare you for motherhood. The immense love for this tiny human, the immense change in your life, the sleep deprivation, the worry, the excitement, the change in your relationship with your partner. Nothing is going to prepare you for those things. So if you want a family, if you’re mentally and physically healthy and have the means to support a child, I think that’s all you can expect."
6."I was ready to be a mom when I hit my 20s. I wanted kids so badly, but my body had other plans. I struggled with fertility issues for several years. Finally, my doctor was able to pinpoint the issue, but warned me that the necessary surgery would be a toss-up as far as being successful. I took that leap and had the surgery anyway. I didn't have my first baby until I was 30 years old. I was more than ready."
7."My first wasn't planned. I hadn't thought I'd wanted children before, but when I found out I was pregnant, I wasn't scared or upset; I was happy. I was looking forward to having a baby. So yeah, maybe a week after missing my period, I realized I was ready to be a mum."
8."Annoyingly enough, I just knew. But we only had a kid years after I was ready. So I was more than ready when we had the baby. Rationally, I knew what to expect; I wasn't expecting cloud nine. I knew I loved spending time with children, and I was fully aware of all that it would entail."
"We were financially ready; we'd been married for years, and I was certain of our relationship. We had had a pet together that needed serious care, so I knew that we were both committed to and involved in caring for a dependent. We had discussed it a lot, so we knew where we both stood in parenting and also in what we wanted and why."
9."I didn’t. It just happened, and I rose to the occasion. I was even in a position where we had been married for several years, owned a house, ticked all the boxes, etc., but sometimes you just don’t know until you have to. Now I love being a mom. It’s like I just unlocked another room in the house that is 'me.'"
10."I thought I was ready when I saw colleagues the same age as me start to have children, buy a house, etc. I thought I couldn't afford it, but they made me realize that I could do it, too. The only issue is that being financially stable enough didn't mean that I was mentally and emotionally ready. Keep that in mind if you are on the fence."
11."For me, I never felt ready. My husband and I had been married for a year; we were getting older, and we weren't really trying to prevent pregnancy but weren't actively trying for a baby either. I ended up pregnant during the pandemic and initially was freaking out because I just couldn't see being ready by the time the baby came."
"Once I became pregnant, he was very much wanted by my husband and me, and we just embraced whatever was to come. My son was born, and I can't imagine a world without him in it and where I am not his mom. I'm currently expecting number two, mostly a planned pregnancy, and I still don't feel ready to have two of them running around."
12."I knew I was ready for a change — something bigger than just my existence on this earth. Sounds weird, but I'd been thinking and feeling that way for a few months when my birth control prescription needed refilling, and I started to think a baby could be that change in life I was seeking."
"I'd always wanted to be a mom. I was an age and place in life where it made sense and we could do it responsibly, and I figured if it didn't happen right away, I'd just get my prescription filled if I changed my mind. I never got that prescription filled again."
13."I was getting older and realized that no matter how much work it was, I wanted the chance to have a relationship with my adult child. To do that, I had to get over my fear of having a baby. We had him at nearly 40, and we got lucky with a healthy baby who sleeps pretty well, but he is the absolute light of our lives and has been since the moment we met him."
"I was also giving the best of myself to my career, and as much as I love my job, that wasn’t what I wanted to have to show for my life. I’d rather have memories of school pick-ups and science projects and sitting in the rain watching a person I love play a sport I hate than winning more awards, doing more speaking engagements, etc."
14."I was happy and secure with my relationship at the time and knew since a young age that I’d wanted to be a mom some day. My son’s father was the one that I felt 100% confident raising a child with for the rest of our lives, no matter what. We aren’t together anymore, but we get along great, and we are amazing at parenting together."
And finally, here's a parent who kept it extremely real:
15."My son is 20, and I'm still not ready."
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Want to share the moment you realized you were ready for parenthood? Let me know in the comments!