More people hook up when they’re home for the holidays, new survey shows
From Taylor Swift’s “‘Tis the damn season” to the new Lifetime movie “A Cowboy Christmas Romance,” we are well-acquainted with a good old hometown holiday hook up.
As some people may know firsthand (*wink wink*), this cliché doesn’t pop up only in songs and fictional movies. According to results from Everlywell’s Holiday Hometown Hook-Up Survey of 850 single adults 18 to 44 years old, nearly 60% of respondents said they plan on having casual sex with someone when they're home for the holidays. That number might be modest, too, as nearly 70% confirmed they’ve casually done the deed during the holidays in years past.
Holiday hookups also happen more often than regular ones throughout the year. Over half of the single men surveyed said they have more casual sex when they're home for the holidays than they normally do, and 35% of women reported the same.
What is it about this time of year that makes people want to jump into bed with someone else? Is it needing relief from family stress, the cold weather, the warmth of the holiday spirit or something else? Here, experts share what they think are the reasons behind these holiday hookups.
Holidays can bring out positive — and negative — feelings
All kinds of feelings — from holiday cheer to even grief — can leave people craving some physical affection. “People hook up for all kinds of reasons: loneliness, nostalgia, boredom, horniness,” Sarah E. Wright, clinical psychologist and certified sex therapy supervisor with Choosing Therapy, tells Yahoo Life.
Wright explains why this is the case, saying when the holidays bring up feelings of sadness, for example, a casual hookup can provide positive emotions or simply act as a distraction. Being home for the holidays can also be a time of tension and anxiety for some. “For those who find family get-togethers particularly stressful, they may want to find other sources of interpersonal comfort, such as a casual hookup,” Betsy Chung, clinical psychologist and relationship expert at RAW dating app, tells Yahoo Life.
Other people may be feeling the holiday spirit, she says, and want to expand on that pleasure. “Let’s face it: Most people have sex because it feels good,” Wright says.
Hooking up in your hometown can be nostalgic
Whether you’re reconnecting with an ex from high school or meeting someone new, “chemistry with another human feels good, regardless of how it happens,” Wright says. Hooking up with someone you already know, such as a former flame, can be nostalgic, especially if the hookup is somehow connected to a familiar aspect of your hometown, like a favorite bar or tradition. “This creates a lot of points of connection,” Wright says.
Or maybe you want to feel young again or rewrite a story from your past. “Some hookups may be an attempt to recapture the essence of youth or the spark of a past relationship,” Wright notes. “Others may be embracing a longed-for opportunity that never came to be, especially for those who feel they missed out on something or someone.”
Wright also points out that hometown hookups can also offer a sense of safety. “Knowing someone for a long time can lead to feelings of comfort or trust, both of which can enhance attraction and arousal,” she says.
To be clear, that doesn’t mean going for an ex or old friend is automatically the way to go. “The excitement of meeting someone new can be just as intoxicating,” she adds.
That said, there are pros and cons to both old flames and new connections, notes Chung. “For example, reconnecting with an old flame allows you to tap into a certain level of comfort that you otherwise wouldn’t have with somebody new, but can surely complicate things too if old feelings are stirred up and not both [people] desire to continue a relationship,” she says. “Meeting somebody new can be fun, but you may hesitate to bring them to special gatherings with friends and family.”
It’s 'cuffing season'
The winter holidays are often referred to as cuffing season — when single people link up romantically to stave off loneliness and form a connection, albeit a temporary one, during those chilly months. “During this time, there’s a lot of emphasis on ‘togetherness,’ which can make people feel especially lonely if they don’t have anybody to share it with,” Chung says.
Holiday hookups can also make a joyful season even more, well, joyful. “People usually have more time off and may want to seek some level of romantic connection in order to take advantage of the holiday spirit and enhance their experience of this special time of year by spending it with somebody,” Chung says.
Where do people hook up in their hometown?
If you’ve found the person you’d like to hook up with and the feeling is mutual, where do you then go? Is hooking up in the car the easiest option or would splurging on a hotel room be worth it? Here’s what experts suggest considering.
Hotel rooms provide privacy, which can be in short supply when you’re home for the holidays. But they can be pricey, especially if you don’t need them or don’t plan on staying in them long. Add that to all the money you might have spent on travel and presents, and your bank account might take a serious hit. “Let’s not forget that budgets may be a factor and not everyone may have the extra money to splurge on a hotel room,” Wright says. A hotel stay also requires some extra planning and intention, which you may not have in advance, notes Wright, if the hometown hook up is spontaneous.
Car sex, however, is free and a fairly popular go-to — according to a Zipcar and Harris Poll survey, 1 in 10 adults have had it while traveling for the holidays. That said, it’s not for everyone. If your body doesn’t bend like that anymore, car sex causes pain or you don’t want to risk getting in trouble with the law, then a more private, spacious option like a hotel or someone’s house if no one is home might be your best bet.
Chung also encourages asking yourself what you want out of the experience. “Is it purely a sexual encounter or are you looking for a romantic evening?” she says. “Do you hope to see this person again or is this just a one-time thing?”
She also suggests making sure the other person is onboard with your plans. Wright agrees that communication is crucial to avoid misunderstandings, such as being clear if this is just a casual fling or if you’re hoping for something more. Then once that’s settled, enjoy some eggnog and hit up your “Santa Baby.”
