What not to wear at the airport

Women, I think, can be divided into two categories: those who wear heels to the airport, and those who don’t. I have traditionally fallen into the latter category, choosing to travel in trainers that make me look like a teenage gamer. But this changed last week when I flew to Switzerland on a press trip to review a posh hotel in the mountains (the sort of hard-hitting, investigative journalism I excel at), along with five other writers. Because it was technically “work”, I decided I should look smart when I arrived at Gatwick. Civilised. Like a grown-up. So I wore a pair of high-heeled leather boots.

I realised early on the journey that this was a mistake. My feet were aching and our plane was at one of those gates that involves a walk fractionally longer than the Camino de Santiago. But I couldn’t take my boots off on the plane because I was sitting next to the Mail on Sunday’s scary columnist Liz Jones (lovely, it turns out). And then an hour or so later, we landed at Geneva and had to walk another 93 miles to pick up our bags.

By the time we got to the luggage carousel, I was in such pain Quasimodo would have beaten me in a race. No doubt this was most impressive to the other journalists, all of whom were in flat shoes.

It’s not much of a sob story. Shakespeare’s tragedies probably have more pathos. But it did make me think about what one should wear to travel these days. In 1914, the first ever scheduled flight took off from St Petersburg in Florida and landed in Tampa 23 minutes later. There was one passenger, Abram C Pheil, who paid $400 for his ticket. I’ve scrutinised the grainy photographs and although brave Abe doesn’t seem to be in a pair of heels, it looks like he went for a suit and a natty hat. Or it could be his haircut. Hard to tell.

Anyway, last week Gatwick looked quite different. Loads of Ugg boots. Tracksuits. Hoodies. The odd fleecy onesie. Limping along in my heeled boots, I reflected on the irony of wearing sporty Lycra items to travel when you’re going to be cooped up like a member of the Terracotta Army for several hours. But I was jealous. That’s normally me, in a pair of leggings so old they should have been tossed under the sink to be used to dust the bookshelves now and then.

So heels are out again, for me. It’s not wise to wear tight jeans on a plane either. Or uncomfortable bras. Or anything with multiple pockets which means you’re going to be that person at the security queue fumbling for loose coins. And be careful, too, if you try to beat the airlines’ ludicrous luggage fees by wearing all your clothes instead of paying for a bag to go in the hold. A chap called Ryan tried to do so last month on a BA flight from Iceland to London by wearing 10 shirts and eight pairs of trousers, all layered on top of one another. He wasn’t allowed on the plane.

Trouble is if you don’t want to travel in heels and formal suits but agree that Ugg boots and leggings are slovenly and not the thing for a work trip, where’s the middle ground? Ah, well, I’m glad you ask because I’ve consulted a fashion friend and come up with an answer. Pyjamas. Wearing them outside the bedroom has been deeply fashionable for a while now. Victoria Beckham was photographed in a slinky pink pair in Vogue recently, Kate Beckinsale slipped on a set for the theatre last year and Rihanna’s worn them on the red carpet.

“Now they’ve got ties at the waist and cropped at the ankle. And are velvet and patterned,” adds my fashion friend. Posh British designer Olivia von Halle makes silk pyjama sets for a mere ￡450, or you can nip to M&S and buy a lovely brushed cotton pair in blue check for ￡29.50. They would work just as well, I reckon.