Now, Later, or Never: Rating the Week in Premieres, From 'Scream Queens' to 'The Muppets'

For some of the new shows, you’ve been excited since casting announcements first came down (ahem, Scream Queens). For others, you just saw a poster on the side of a bus and actually said, “Huh?” loudly enough that others heard you. Well, the time is neigh. All those new fall TV shows are here. You can stop counting down the days and start setting the DVR. But which ones are worth watching, which ones should you skip, and which ones should you save for a snow day (because they’re coming, whether we like it or not)? We’ve put in the hours of watching pilots on your behalf and came up with a quick and easy ranking system.

Now: These are the best, buzziest shows that you should season pass and watch the night-of.
Later: We recommend watching these… eventually. After you’ve watched all the “Now” shows.
Never: Sorry, but not all shows are must-see!

Here, we break down the first week of new fall shows with premiere info and our brutally honest snap judgments. And we don’t always all agree, but with several takes — from Yahoo TV’s Kristen Baldwin, Ken Tucker, Mandi Bierly, Breanne L. Heldman, Dave Nemetz, and Ethan Alter — hopefully it’ll make deciding what to watch that much easier.

LIFE IN PIECES
Premieres Monday, Sept. 21, at 8:30 p.m. on CBS

Baldwin: Later
Colin Hanks is adorable, and any sitcom that employs Key & Peele’s Jordan Peele as a recurring player deserves some attention… but the pilot just felt like a Modern Family wannabe. And I already watch Modern Family.

Tucker: Never
You don’t want to see good actors like Dianne Wiest, Betsy Brandt, Thomas Sadoski, Colin Hanks, and James Brolin wasted in a trite, squawky sitcom like this.

Bierly: Later
It’s got a likable cast and an older-skewing Modern Family vibe, but it’s not reinventing the wheel.

Heldman: Later
The cast is certainly fun and the pilot is about a 50/50 ratio of genuine, laugh out loud moments and contrived, ridiculous, cringe-worthy moments. Which, for me, is a pretty positive ratio when it comes to comedies.

Nemetz: Never
Now that we’ve all stopped caring about Modern Family, CBS has finally gotten around to ripping it off and turning it into a broad, faux-“edgy” (she said “my box!”) sitcom. Nice cast, though.

Related: Fall TV Preview: The Scoop on 34 New Shows

MINORITY REPORT
Premieres Monday, Sept. 21, at 9 p.m. on FOX

Baldwin: Later
Very fancy, expensive looking pilot with lots of futuristic high-tech gadgetry just like in the movie. The leads (Stark Sands and Meagan Good) are likable, but I kept getting distracted by Good’s consistently (and hilariously) low-cut tops, which are definitely not something her tough-cop character would wear.

Tucker: Now
If you liked the 2002 Spielberg movie, you might like the show — check out how the producers are giving the precog premise a new twist.

Bierly: Now
As someone who’s never seen the movie, I enjoyed it. The effects look great, and it moves fast.

Heldman: Never
I’ve never seen this movie and, after watching this, I probably wouldn’t want to if my husband hadn’t sworn it had virtually no relationship to this mess.

Nemetz: Never
Let’s Take an Original Movie Premise and Turn It Into an Unoriginal TV Procedural, Part One.

Alter: Later
The futuristic special effects are top-notch, but the stories are, so far, super-bland. I am curious to see how they’ll develop Stark Sands and the rest of the Precog community, though. That material could make for compelling mythology.

BLINDSPOT
Premieres Monday, Sept. 21, at 10 p.m. on NBC

Baldwin: Later
This one seems like a good bet for fans of shows like The Blacklist — it’s got a case-of-the-week element mixed with an ongoing storyline (who is this Mystery Tattoo Lady?) — and Jaimie Alexander is a strong lead. I have a low tolerance for procedurals, though, so I’ll probably just dip in from time-to-time to get updates on the “Jane Doe” mystery.

Tucker: Now
One of the few new shows with curiosity-buzz: Hasn’t that ad with Jaimie Alexander climbing nekkid out of a duffel bag in Times Square piqued your interest? Also some good action sequences; give it a try.

Bierly: Later
The pilot drags because we know Jane Doe is a woman who can kick ass before she does, but once she gets her Jason Bourne on, it picks up. I’m already shipping her and Kurt Weller (Sullivan Stapleton), the FBI agent whose name she has tattooed on her back.

Heldman: Now
While the pilot could’ve done with a few less close-ups of the stars’ faces — we get it, Jaimie is gorgeous — it certainly set up a number of mysteries I’m eager to see unravel. I just feel badly for the aforementioned babe in a bag: She’s going to be spending a lot of time in makeup going forward.

Nemetz: Never
Like a fresh tattoo covering up a regrettable one, Blindspot tries to use a flashy premise — “She’s covered in tattoos! She has amnesia! She kicks ass!” — to disguise yet another dull network procedural. It’s still an eyesore.

Alter: Now
The whole “permanent amnesia” hook is ludicrous, of course, but damned if Alexander’s ferocious performance doesn’t make it seem semi-plausible. She does the whole Memento thing just as well as Guy Pearce and, unlike him, can hold her own in a fight.

THE MUPPETS
Premieres Tuesday, Sept. 22, at 8 p.m. on ABC

Tucker: Now
A no-brainer: No way you’re going to miss this updating of The Muppet Show as a talk-show/reality spoof with executive producer Kermit coping with his break-up with Miss Piggy, star of the show-within-the-show they’re working on, Up Late with Miss Piggy. The jokes seem strained — more conventional-sitcom than Muppet-distinct — but you KNOW you want to form your own opinion.

Bierly: Later
The sight of them is comfort food for the soul, but don’t expect the series to be as tight and joke-packed as the 10-minute presentation shown at Comic-Con. The premiere isn’t. Episode 2, with guest star Josh Groban, is better.

Heldman: Later
I love the Muppets, but I feel like I’ve seen an NBC workplace comedy around the production of a talk/variety show somewhere before… Still, you’re going to want to see how things work out with Kermit and Denise.

Nemetz: Now
As a lifelong Muppets fan, I’m thrilled to see Kermit and company back on the small screen. And the new talk-show setting works like a charm; the celeb cameos are on point (look for Josh Groban and Jay Leno in Week 2), and the Kermit-Miss Piggy post-breakup dynamic is actually, dare I say… kind of touching.

Alter: Never
I don’t envy the modern-day Muppet masterminds, having to live up to Jim Henson’s legacy. But this really isn’t the best way to go about it: the meta humor feels forced, the emphasis on the Muppets’s love lives is tiresome and, worst of all, Miss Piggy has been transformed into a perpetually shrill, destructive harridan. Just use this timeslot to re-run old episodes of The Muppet Show instead.

SCREAM QUEENS
Premieres Tuesday, Sept. 22, at 8 p.m. on FOX

Baldwin: Later
Perhaps the first made-for-Twitter TV show. Emma Roberts plays essentially the same role she did on AHS: Coven, and the glamp (camp + glamour) is turned up to 11 at all times. Like all Ryan Murphy productions, it’s probably best consumed in moderation. (Side note: Niecy Nash, who has a recurring role, is brilliant.)

Tucker: Now
This is the season’s most obvious love-it-or-hate-it show. You have to watch at least once to decide whether you’re all in or oh-so-out with Ryan Murphy’s latest well-cast (Jamie Lee Curtis, Emma Roberts, Ariana Grande (!)) well-shot, non-stop wisecracking horror/sorority/gal-pal/comedy-drama.

Bierly: Now
Watch the premiere so you know who everyone is, and then when you hear about outrageous much-watch scenes in the future, you can just fast-forward directly to them.

Heldman: Never
Ryan Murphy has a knack for getting away with shows and concepts that other creators might not be able to pull off, and he’s certainly a king when it comes to casting. But don’t let all that pretty fool you. Save the hour and learn all you need to know about what happened each week by scanning Twitter.

Nemetz: Never
I had high hopes for American Horror Story: Sorority House, but despite a triumphant comeback performance from Jamie Lee Curtis, it’s not nearly as clever as it thinks it is, or as scary as it should be. The most terrifying thing here is the prospect of Ariana Grande acting.

Alter: Never
All of Ryan Murphy’s worst tendencies are on display in the nearly-unwatchable two-hour pilot. At least Glee had musical numbers to make the rest of the badness bearable.

LIMITLESS
Premieres Tuesday, Sept. 22, at 10 p.m. on CBS

Baldwin: Later
Star Jake McDorman is charming, but this show basically boils down to another of CBS’s patented person-with-extraordinary-abilities-solves-crimes procedural (see: Elementary, The Mentalist, Scorpion, etc.).

Tucker: Later
If you’re a hardcore Bradley Cooper fan, you may want to watch right away, but Cooper doesn’t have a big role in this spin-off of his 2011 film. Otherwise, wait and see how the storylines and the ratings shake down before considering committing to this NZT-drug-fueled drama.

Bierly: Now
By the end of the premiere, you have confidence in Jake McDorman as a leading man and look forward to seeing his character work with Jennifer Carpenter’s. You’d also be totally cool if Bradley Cooper didn’t recur (because of his hair).

Heldman: Now
Unlike Minority Report, fans of this original movie should be pleased, and not just because Bradley Cooper makes an appearance. Jake McDorman is a worthy leading man (especially for this Greek fan) and the fantasy element of genius drug NZT holds even in a procedural format.

Nemetz: Never
Let’s Take an Original Movie Premise and Turn It Into an Unoriginal TV Procedural, Part Two.

Alter: Now
The series efficiently picks up from where the movie left off and has Cooper on hand to help with the transition to a new know-it-all hero. It’s also nicely set up to balance typical procedural casework with a more ambitious serialized arc.

ROSEWOOD
Premieres Wednesday, Sept. 23, at 8 p.m. on FOX

Baldwin: Never
Nothing against Morris Chestnut, but this is just another run-of-the-mill crime procedural — giving Chestnut’s character a potentially deadly heart condition doesn’t break any ground.

Tucker: Never
Morris Chestnut as a fancy-pants Miami pathologist? It plays like a spin-off of USA Network’s Royal Pains, but with a character that’s too egotistical to bear.

Bierly: Later
If you’re a fan of Rizzoli & Isles, you’ll enjoy this. Especially if Fox gives it enough episodes to build a library on demand that you can plow through one day when you’re home sick.

Heldman: Never
This is almost a formula of a formula, it’s so basic.

Nemetz: Never
I’m struggling to find a reason for this utterly generic procedural to exist. Did someone at Fox just think Morris Chestnut looked good in pastels? (They’re not wrong, by the way.)

Alter: Never
Generic procedural alert! The eye candy provided by Morris Chestnut, Jaina Lee Ortiz, and the city of Miami can’t make up for the utter tedium of the script.

HEROES REBORN
Premieres Thursday, Sept. 24, at 8 p.m. on NBC

Baldwin: Later
I had approximately zero interest in the original Heroes, but this was surprisingly compelling and seems fairly accessible to people who didn’t watch the first series. That said, there are so many characters and storylines it’ll be easier to follow as a binge-watch later.

Tucker: Now
You’re probably curious to see whether — or even why — NBC and creator Tim Kring can pull off a revival of this show. Now that the cheerleader is on Nashville, there is room for more heroes than ever.

Bierly: Never
If, like me, you never watched the original series, the two-hour premiere will try your patience and comprehension skills — even though with so many new characters, it’s theoretically accessible to all.

Nemetz: Never
I didn’t watch the original, so maybe I’m not the target audience for this. But with a glut of quality comic-book shows out there right now, this feels too stale to stand out. Save your DVR space; save the world.

THE PLAYER
Premieres Thursday, Sept. 24, at 10 p.m. on NBC

Baldwin: Never
So, a mysterious group of ultra-rich people bet on whether a “security expert” (Philip Winchester) can stop crimes, while Wesley Snipes smirks from the sidelines as the “Pit Boss”? I’d rather watch a rerun of Las Vegas.

Tucker: Later
This adventure series about a Las Vegas system of betting on criminal activity is one of those NBC procedurals that you can set aside for a rainy day when you’re nostalgic for Wesley Snipes — who, by the way, looks super-fit going all martial-arts on people.

Heldman: Later
The premise is completely ridiculous but that doesn’t mean it’s not fun. As long as Philip Winchester can keep his energy up and Wesley Snipes can keep being mysterious but also kinda kooky, The Player might work as a nice chaser between a pair of heady dramas.

Nemetz: Never
Slightly preferable to Blindspot, if only because it seems to be aware of how totally ridiculous it is. The granite-jawed Philip Winchester has serious action-star chops, but it’s all a bit too silly to gamble on at this point.

Alter: Later
It’s a little bit Person of Interest and a little bit Running Man. Not a bad combination, but right now it’s lacking a certain snap. My suggestion? Ditch Philip Winchester and make it the Wesley Snipes/Charity Wakefield Power Hour.