You can now spend the night at Southfork Ranch from Dallas
Sound the jubilant theme tune trumpets, dust off those shoulder pads and backcomb your barnet: global television phenomenon Dallas is back in the public consciousness. Initially commissioned as a non-returnable five-part miniseries, by the end of its weekly Sunday night run in 1978, the soap opera had crashed into the top 10 most-watched television shows in America.
Following this unprecedented success, the studio swiftly commissioned further episodes. For 13 years, Dallas’s salacious tales of family, greed, lust and revenge regularly topped ratings worldwide, peaking with the “Who Shot J.R.?” cliffhanger in 1980. The show was rebooted in 2012, fizzling out after three series, following the death of Larry Hagman, who played the infamous J.R. Ewing, the character everyone loved to hate.
Centre stage throughout the 14 series is the pristine white mansion with its signature yellow and white striped awning – Southfork Ranch, home to several generations of the Ewing family. The property’s sprawling acreage provided the backdrop to many of the show’s pivotal scenes, from torrid affairs in barns, to murder in the swimming pool. Evidently, all in a day’s work for the average conniving Texan billionaire oil baron.
Since 1981, ardent fans have made the pilgrimage to Southfork from across the globe. But it wasn’t until recently that it became possible to actually spend a night in the house unchaperoned.
“Live and Dream Like a Ewing” offers up to six guests the opportunity to fully immerse themselves in life at Southfork Ranch. As well as exclusive use of the entire house and pool, a private tour of the property, champagne reception, dinner, breakfast, take-home souvenirs and optional trail ride are all included.
Keen to mingle with visitors from far and wide, I joined the public tour (hourly from 10.15am to 3.15pm; $20 [￡16] for adults or $12 for children) along with a couple from France who were brought up watching the show. Beginning in the museum, we were collectively surprised to see an early career Brad Pitt featured in the extensive family tree. Pitt played Randy, boyfriend of Charlotte, daughter of Jenna – Bobby Ewing’s first love – played by Priscilla Presley (do keep up).
There’s memorabilia aplenty, including the cast’s handprints, Lucy’s wedding dress and the gun used to shoot J.R.. It’s a fun retrospective, duly setting the scene for the ensuing nostalgia.
During the tram tour around the property, we learned that the biggest demographic of overseas visitors come from Romania. Dallas was initially broadcast behind the Iron Curtain at the behest of Nicolae Ceau?escu to illustrate the evils of capitalism. Unfortunately for the dictator, the plan backfired and the Romanians aspired to be more like J.R., leading to the show being credited with the demise of communism.
The tour takes in various key sights such as the Oil Barons Ballroom; “showdeo” – a mini-rodeo erected for filming purposes; a variety of livestock happily living out their retirement at the ranch; and, rather poignantly, the graves of J.R. and his parents, Miss Ellie and Jock.
With the tour concluded and the requisite photos snapped, the metaphorical keys to the house were handed over to me. I seconded the lifesize 2D cut-out of J.R. from the bar area, making him my companion for the evening. His jaunty red neckerchief was both an atypical local accessory and also, I discovered, a useful cover-up disguising his broken neck.
With areas cordoned off during the tour no longer prohibited, my place at the dinner table was set in the same spot as Hagman’s on the day he died. I felt rather emotional as I toasted 2D J.R. and the last supper he sadly missed.
Embodying the warm hug of Southern hospitality, Miss Ellie’s excellent peach cobbler and cinnamon ice-cream signalled the end of dinner. I retired to the lounge to further reminisce with a selection of Dallas DVDs. Sitting in the chairs in which the brothers Ewing talked business over a large bourbon, I pressed play on a pre-loaded disc. I wondered whether the episode screened was random or specifically selected.
The years have been unexpectedly kind to a programme that arguably embodied some of the worst elements of the 1980s, from excess and greed to crimes of fashion. But it was the prescient content that most surprised; the plot centred on J.R. exposing nemesis Cliff Barnes’ role in the death from abortion complications of his girlfriend. With the recent overturning of Roe v. Wade, highly pertinent social commentary from a 45-year-old soap opera was not what I had anticipated.
Swerving a midnight swim owing to the large number of critters floating about, I headed to the master bedroom. With portraits of Sue Ellen and J.R. looming large, I stood 2D J.R. by the door, where he valiantly kept guard all night.
I awoke to the aroma of freshly brewed coffee the next morning and opened the balcony doors and surveyed the Ewing’s empire in all its glory. Looking down towards the pool below, I ruminated on the plausibility of Kristin smashing through the extremely solid railings and falling to her death from the not particularly high first floor (episode one, series five).
Following a fine breakfast at the famous glass poolside table where Miss Ellie would attempt to assuage family squabbles, it was time for the final stage of the experience – the horse trail. My group comprised several Finnish superfans and a mother with her two daughters from Chicago, who watched the show together during the pandemic.
As we cantered around the property, flashes of storylines came to mind as we passed by familiar areas. It was a fitting end to what is a brilliant experience for fans of the series, capturing an era and its impact on the television landscape perfectly.
Essentials
Shelley Rubenstein was a guest of Southfork Ranch (00 1 972 442 7800; southforkranch.com), which offers its Live and Dream Like a Ewing package from $1,978 (￡1,626) for two, with a charge of $450 for each additional guest up to a total of six, plus 26 per cent service charge and sales tax. For more information visit traveltexas.com.
