When should parents and kids stop being nude around each other?

Bravo star Andy Cohen recently guest-hosted on Live With Kelly & Mark, and he used the opportunity to ask father of three Mark Consuelos about a parenting dilemma.

"I needed your advice about a parenting thing,” Cohen, who is dad to Ben, 4, and Lucy, 1, said on the show. “So, Ben and I have taken baths — he loves to take a bath, whatever, I guess that’s normal." Cohen then asked Consuelos if he was ever naked in front of his daughter, Lola, who is now 22. "Like, I have a daughter, what is the protocol there? Because I’m a little bit of a nudie, and I feel like I need to start locking it up," he said.

Consuelos said that he "was never naked on purpose" in front of Lola and that "the rule of thumb was when they start speaking. When they start saying words." Cohen then responded that he thought it was "weird" that he and Lucy wouldn't have bath time together and wanted Consuelos's take. "Your eyes are telling me that's weird," Cohen said. "I just need the protocol."

Cohen also asked Consuelos when he thinks Cohen should stop bathing with his 4-year-old. Consuelos's response: "Like, two years ago."

The exchange has gotten a lot of attention, and raised questions about what is and isn't OK when it comes to nudity and kids. So, when should parents stop being naked in front of their kids? The answer isn't clear-cut.

When should parents stop being naked in front of their kids?

It's important to note that there is no official guidance from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) on this. "Interestingly, there are very few scholarly studies on this subject, so we must turn to clinical data," clinical psychologist John E. Mayer, author of Family Fit: Find Your Balance in Life, tells Yahoo Life. "I have an abundance of clinical cases where this subject has come up."

A lot depends on comfort levels with nudity for both adults and children in the household, Mayer says, along with how common this has been in the house in the past. "Has this been a family habit since the children were born?" he says.

There are situational factors that come into play as well. If a home only has one bathroom, for example, it's more likely that family members will see each other naked, Mayer points out. "If these factors exist in your household, the effect of parental nudity is not harmful, but an accepted part of this family," he says. "But I also advise parents that they should set boundaries, through teaching, that these habits may not be acceptable outside of 'our' home, such as overnights at friends'[homes], campouts and school events."

There may even be a difference in comfort level between family members, Thea Gallagher, a clinical assistant professor of psychology at NYU Langone Health and co-host of the Mind in View podcast, tells Yahoo Life. "Each child is different," she says.

In general, Gallagher says that parental nudity in front of kids typically ends by the time a child is in the middle of elementary school, although there is variation based on the child and family. As for bathing with kids, she says that should end around this time. "When we get into the ages of 8 and 9 with a functioning, healthily developing child, that's the cut-off for when you should be bathing with them," she says. "They should be able to bathe themselves."

As for doing things like breastfeeding in front of your other children, Gallagher says that shouldn't be a concern. "Even adults need to be more comfortable with that," she says. "You're feeding a child, and you can use it as an opportunity to talk and educate your older child about the function of body parts if they ask."

How to know if your child is ready to be done with parental nudity

If your child seems comfortable being naked around you and vice versa, Mayer says there's no reason to stop. "Given these parameters, there are no harmful effects," he says. "But if your child shows a reaction to parental nudity, then it is best to err on the side of more modesty."

Gallagher says that children will usually dictate how this goes. "Kids a lot of times decide on their own," she says. "Maybe your 4-year-old will say, 'I want some privacy in the bathroom,' and you want to be respectful of that." That doesn't necessarily mean that your 4-year-old is ready to bathe themselves, she says, but it's an indication that they're starting to become more aware of nudity and boundaries around it. "It's about observing what is and isn't starting to feel comfortable or not for your own child and for you," Gallagher says.

How to talk to your kids about their nudity

Experts say it's a good idea to talk to kids about appropriateness around nudity, but it's important not to shame them if they, say, like to walk around their room or the house naked on the way to the shower if it doesn't bother you. "It's OK to tell kids what's appropriate in the home and what they can't do out in public," Gallagher says. "You can say, 'These are things that you're allowed to do at the house, but you're not necessarily accepted out in the world.' We need to make sure we're teaching them context."

Mayer just recommends that parents take a soft approach. "I have witnessed many children having less sexual and relationship problems when raised in households that didn’t shame nudity," he says.

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