Should You Pay Closer Attention to Beige Flags in a Relationship?

Medically reviewed by Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD

A beige flag is a slang relationship term referring to an odd or quirky characteristic, but not one that is innately good or bad. "Flags is a modern term used by people to rate noticeable and more subtle characteristics of a person," says Allison Fossella, LMHC, LPC, Mental Health Clinical Director of Nice Healthcare. She notes "flags are a tool to help envision and evaluate a relationship that you have, or may have with someone."

The term gained popularity through TikTok, where videos hashtagged #beigeflags have millions of views and hundreds of thousands of likes. Ahead, we'll review whether beige flags have any positive or negative aspects, how they differ from yellow flags, and whether it is possible for beige flags to become green flags.

Relationship Flag Definitions

Red Flags: Traits a person has that could be considered dangerous to a relationship. Red flag examples include someone not communicating well, lying to you, or not having reasonable boundaries.

Yellow Flags: Similar to a yellow light meaning you should exercise caution, these are traits that may be dangerous but are not as overt as red flags. Yellows flags may be controlling behavior, or not being able to control one's temper easily.

Green Flags: The opposite of red flags. Green flags are the signs that a person is healthy and well-adjusted. Examples include treating you kindly and behaving in a supportive manner.

What are Beige Flags?

Beige flags can usually be considered neutral, rather than inherently positive or negative. Fossella tells us that, in general, "flags can be helpful to navigate the value of relationships, and research even backs up the application of green flags and red flags." She adds that beige flags fall into "areas that may be more subjective. They don’t provide a benefit and they’re not a toxic trait. Beige flags are used to mark an odd or quirky habit."

Here are some examples of beige flags you may be able to spot in your relationship.

Conversational Habits

If your significant other always asks strangers the same question, that's an example of a beige flag. "Always asking someone their astrological sign when meeting for the first time" is one according to Fossella. Another example of a conversational habit that's a beige flag is if your partner points out animals and talks to them, such as shouting "dog!" when they see a dog.

Nesting Habits

We all have our quirks at home. "Placing any unfinished canned drinks in the refrigerator at the end of the day" is a beige flag according to Fossella. A person may have a surprising bedtime ritual that could be considered a beige flag, such as getting into bed on one side to sleep only to sleep on the other side. Beige flags might also be found in a person's home decor, such as a large collection of an obscure toy.

Aversions

Beige flags can be unusual things that a person shies away from. It might be an uncommon phobia, such as being afraid of bar soap and using only liquid. A partner might refuse to turn left onto a street unless it has a stop sign or light. Or they might have a disproportionate amount of clothing in one color and refuse to wear a different color.

Special Interests

Beige flags can be related to someone's special interests, particularly if those special interests are more unique. An adult who knows everything there is to know about railroads would be one example. Your partner may be extremely into a certain type of animal, or they may be able to recite obscure geography facts, or they might be deeply invested in vitamins.

Personality Traits

Beige flags don't have to be things you do: They can also be attributes you have as a person. A beige flag could be someone being awful at directions and frequently getting lost. Or your partner might not be good at remembering their left versus their right. Or your loved one may hum quietly without even noticing that they do it.

Beige Flags Vs. Yellow Flags

Even though the colors look somewhat similar, beige flags and yellow flags are entirely different things. Fossella says beige flags "may make someone’s head turn," but "they do not provide a benefit or cost to having a relationship with that person." Conversely, she explains yellow flags are more concerning." She says "yellow flags could be a sign of a red flag that has yet to show itself, and lead to an unhealthy relationship path."

Yellow flags are behaviors to watch out for, and they shouldn't be taken lightly. "Yellow flags are a flashing caution sign," Fossella says. "For example, someone who reacts with anger to minor situations could be a troubling early indicator of abuse." This isn't the case with beige flags; even if you consider a trait or behavior strange, a beige flag by definition is not dangerous or indicative of someone potentially treating you poorly.

Can Beige Flags Turn Into Green Flags?

Because beige flags aren't necessarily good or bad, they may or may not ever turn into green flags. If you have a healthy and loving relationship, you may grow to appreciate the quirks your partner has. You may learn from their special interests, and they may learn from yours. Or you may find a partner's trait that was hard to get used to you now haven't noticed in months.

How you feel about your partner's beige flags may clue you in to how your relationship is going overall. If everything strange that someone does annoys you, that could be a sign the person isn't a great match for you. But, if you grow to love someone's quirks and find them progressively more endearing, this can be considered positive feedback on your relationship. Overall, Fossella says "it is important to maintain self-awareness and not ignore if you are experiencing a change in response to any beige flags."