People Are Sharing How Things Ended After They Got Romantically Involved With A Coworker, And I Wasn't Expecting Some Of These
As they say: Without even looking, you might meet your significant other or spouse in the most unexpected place. And sometimes that unexpected place is at work.
FOX / Via giphy.com
Since getting romantically involved with a coworker can be an incredibly polarizing topic, I wanted the BuzzFeed Community to weigh in. I asked: "Has anyone dated someone they work with — and if so, how did it go?" The responses ranged by quite a lot. Here are several of them.
1."My partner and I are both intensive care nurses. We became really good friends as soon as I joined the unit in February 2020 — but working through the pandemic together bought us closer."
"We would have two or three unstable patients at a time and many tears were shed — but we went through it all together. We used to go on walks in the woods outside of work to debrief and have some time away from the chaos. We’ve told our managers who are very happy for us and have told some of our colleagues. We’re starting to look for a place to live together now."
2."I dated someone I work in the same building with for about two months. We work at a small college on different teams within the same department at a similar level in terms of hierarchy. Honestly, the whole thing was not dramatic. It was fun to have it be a secret at first. But when we started to tell some people, it was really not a big deal."
"We eventually decided to end things because we just were headed in different directions. It was a bit harder to move on since I was always a little on edge and worried that if I would run into him, if it would be awkward. But now we’re friends and everything is all good!"
—Anonymous
3."Two words: NEVER AGAIN! My now ex and I met while working at Panera. I was part-time and still in high school, while she was three years older than me and was full-time. At first it was cute and going to work was a pleasure since we got to see each other. But three months into the relationship she cheated on me, and we broke up soon after."
"This was only to have her bring the girl she cheated on me with into the shifts that we were working together and repeatedly asking me to make her (the side chick’s) sandwiches 'with love.' On top of this, our other coworkers began taking sides and would verbally attack me in front of customers and belittle me while we were working. The managers did nothing despite me breaking down in the middle of my shifts often. Everything became so toxic for my mental health that I quit and haven’t been able to eat at a Panera since then. So much trauma and not worth it."
—Anonymous
4."My partner and I met working in a lab at a biomedical company. He was my team lead when I started. We were friends and workout buddies for a couple of years and we’d also get together for game nights and rock climbing with another person on our team."
"Eventually I was promoted to a team lead as well. Some time after that, we realized we had mutual feelings for each other. We had been close friends for so long that it was all pretty seamless. We went by the book and declared our relationship with HR. Since we were both leads, nobody had to change departments. Nothing really changed at work."
"All that said, I don’t think I ever would have started dating a coworker if we didn’t know each other as well as we did as friends. We both knew it wasn’t casual and that we were both in it for the long haul."
5."Yes, but we had to keep it on the down low. Not only were we both with other people and he was older, but he was also my boss. And we could get fired for being together. So for 5+ years, we flew under the radar. Most stressful time of my life. I would not recommend."
—Anonymous
6."I was 20, just graduated nursing school and working at my local hospital. Cue the hot pharmacist who was seven years older, working on my floor. We flirted, exchanged numbers, kept it semi-quiet, but also had the 'exclusive' talk."
"Then he cheated on me with another coworker I was friends with and all three of us worked together for a couple years. In the end, he cheated on her and I married a good guy so it all worked itself out."
7."Unless you feel like that person is the one, or you are able to get another job ASAP if it doesn’t work out, don’t do it. It’s awkward AF to have to work with someone you just ended a relationship with. It’s like high school, only worse, because you have to remain professional. And there will be people who choose sides."
"I worked in a big box retail store when I was younger and dated a coworker, and when it didn’t work out, there were definitely sides. And people tried to say I hadn’t moved on because I wasn’t dating anyone new for a while after.
I worked at the storefront and he worked in a department, and he and his friends would ignore me when customers needed their help, so the customer would be super pissed yelling at us because no one was coming to help them. Thankfully one of his friends got fired and he quit after a few weeks so I didn’t have to deal with it for long."
8."My now-boyfriend of two years was previously my boss. He actually interviewed me and we were both dating other people at the time. We worked on the same team for a year before anything happened between us, but the chemistry was palpable. People in the office definitely suspected something was going on but it actually wasn’t. We both just actively liked each other and didn’t act on it for fear of the other rejecting us and also the very weird power dynamic."
"Until...the classic Christmas party. We both got very drunk at a separate bar afterward (just us) and ended up making out and confessing our feelings. I was already planning on quitting the company before we got together so I left about a month after this went down. We are now planning on moving in together in a few months."
—Anonymous
9."We’re both high school teachers and met when our classrooms were down the hall from each other. We were in the same work friend group and there was always a flirtation. Then in the spring we went to lunch — just the two of us — and we decided to start dating."
"We didn’t want our students to find out and gossip about us, so we kept it very secret until we got engaged and had to tell our bosses! Once we got married, we told our students and we still got to work together. It was hard to keep it a secret, but it all worked out in the end."
—Anonymous
10."My husband and I have worked at three or four companies together. We met and started dating at the first company. We were coworkers but worked in different departments at each place. We knew how to separate work life and private life."
"The last company we worked together at even made fun of us because we would take breaks together but never talk to each other. Private conversations we texted to each other, otherwise we would talk casually to each other. Finding this balance is what makes it work in my opinion. We have been together for 26 years."
—Anonymous
11."We both worked at the same warehouse. I was a picker, he was our forklift driver. We kept it entirely professional at work aside from making later plans, though our coworkers all knew and bugged us about it. We moved in together, and it was good...for a while. I ended up breaking up with him after he got me to move to a different province under false pretenses. ?????♀?"
12."I met my now-fiancé at work at eBay. We worked at the same department, different teams. I was chatting with someone else on his team and when I went to walk away he said, 'Hey.' So I turned back around and in front of like 30 people, he said, 'You look really pretty in that dress.'
"I thanked him and managed to turn around to walk away before blushing. After composing myself, I messaged him on Skype and asked him to dinner. We went on our first date a few days later and have been together for five years now. We did have to let our managers know we were together — as we couldn’t be on the same team together. But we got voted eBay’s cutest couple and are about to have our own eBaby in July."
—Anonymous
13."It was fun during the lead up. Then we became official and he made me get another job, because it was his father's company. Little did I know then that he was a narcissist."
"Thank god I got another job though because that place was HORRIBLE. I’ve been at my job now for 6 years and left his crazy ass about 10 months later."
14."I dated a coworker for nine months. He was paranoid about us getting in trouble for dating, so he wouldn’t even talk to me at work. It was super weird to literally wake up together in the morning and then have him ignore me all day."
—Anonymous
15."We met at a popular payment processor. We were apart of the same interview group, though we don't remember each other from that. We then got hired together and were a part of the same training class. He gave me a single flower at my desk on Valentine's Day as a secret admirer. Long story short: During our time there we fell in love, moved in together, got engaged, and are now married with two fur babies."
"While working together we were able to stay on the same team but not sit next to each other until we got engaged. At that point we had to be on separate teams. All in all, it worked out great and I not only met my best friend working there, but also my soulmate."
16."I was a cashier and dated the assistant manager. Word got out because he couldn't keep personal from professional separate — like putting his hand on my lower back while walking. I got fired, he kept his job."
—Anonymous
17."My parents met at work and they've been married for 26 years and are still going strong. I believe they were introduced by mutual friends since they worked in different departments. I'm told one of their favorite dates was ambushing some of their coworker friends in the parking lot after work with water guns, starting a huge water fight."
18."We were both teachers. It was very exciting — sending each other notes during the school day, sex in the store cupboard after school, on a student's desk. We kept it secret and had loads of fun being secret. Fast forward eight years and we are engaged, so I am forever grateful for this work romance."
—Anonymous
19."My boyfriend and I both worked overnight at Walmart stocking shelves. We were both on the same level of the hierarchy so it didn't matter that much. We weren't overly romantic at work or anything, just took all our breaks together. We kept it quiet at first just because my divorce wasn't quite finalized yet."
"Still together over five years now. There were lots of married couples working there and people dating there so it wasn't a big deal. I work somewhere else now, but because I wanted a desk job, nothing to do with us dating and working together."
20."I had just come back to work after a bad car accident and I was still in a neck brace. I saw his back and something in me just knew. I was assigned to train him and I was really mean, but I found him charming and I found out later that it was mutual. I was promoted a week later to a different location."
"We would occasionally see each other at work and had some kind of electricity. I found out he had a long-term girlfriend and backed off. But he ended up breaking up with her and pursued me. We had a wild romance, making out in work closets, and trying to covertly bring each other coffee. People started to suspect us, so we both got new jobs. Four years later: We have two dogs, own a house, and we’re engaged."
—Anonymous
21."My advice would be, don't hook up if you want something significant. That doesn't work out very often. If you do hook up, make sure the other person is on board with keeping it secret. I worked somewhere where there were a few guys known as players and they were all friends. I hooked up with all of them."
22."I met my now-fiancé because we shared a cube wall. Everyone in my department always talked about how great he was and one day in the break room I got the courage to go introduce myself. It went from saying 'good morning' every day as I walked past his desk — to me eventually getting moved to the same team as him."
"Once we got to talking more, we realized how much we had in common. We tried to keep it a secret since we were on the same team, but it was very apparent to literally everyone. Five years later, we are still going incredibly strong. He always says he's the lucky one, but in my heart I know that I'm truly the lucky one. Be courageous, take the leap. Shoot your shot, sometimes it works out for the best!"
23."I use to be that person who was like, 'I'll never date a coworker.' Turns out that work was where I met my boyfriend. We both worked at a warehouse. We developed a really strong friendship. When we first met, he was in a really bad relationship and it ended when he found out she had cheated on him the entire time."
"I began to like him a couple months after he ended his previous relationship. It was a very much 'will they, won't they?' situation. I told a friend I liked him and he told the same friend he liked me. We ended going on a group trip and he got drunk and blurted out that he loved me but I would never date him.
We got back from the trip and I told him I also liked him. We started hanging out — just the two of us. About a month after he confessed, we stated to date. Honestly, I hated where we worked but I am forever grateful for that place because that's where we met. I am the happiest I have ever been."
—Anonymous
24."I met my now-husband at work. We were both really against dating coworkers because we knew it usually ended in disaster, but we ultimately liked each other too much to resist. We tried to keep it a secret but constantly ran into colleagues on the weekends. Plus we were always talking at work so people started to suspect. When we finally came out with it, everyone was like, "Yeah, we all knew." Anyway, we've been together for seven years and have a beautiful baby boy! We still work together too."
—Anonymous
25."I met my husband at work; we were both in retail. A lot of people dated each other at the store; I know of at least four married couples who met there. As for the employer, as long as none of us directly supervised the other, it wasn’t a big deal."
"For my husband and me, it was great. We worked in opposite ends of the store after we were together and it wasn’t a big deal. I, for one, loved that we got to share that part of our lives together. We haven’t worked together in 10 years but the pandemic has allowed us to work at home together, and it brought back a little bit of how our relationship used to be. I love it."
26."I’m a teacher at an elementary school and I started dating our school librarian in 2020. We started flirting over Zoom during COVID virtual learning and got to go on our first date when everything reopened. We recently got engaged and the students are so excited."
—Anonymous
27."It was nice until my girlfriend at the time found out. She forgave me, but me and my coworker kept it going until I changed jobs."
28."It was my first job after college and I was supposed to work for him. Luckily, a last-minute change in plans resulted in me working for another supervisor. We first got to know each other during group happy hours and really hit it off."
"We realized there was more there and started dating about six months after we met, but we kept things really quiet. We’d chat at work or have lunch, but never made it known that we were anything but friends. Almost two years went by before I moved jobs, but even then we didn’t make a big public show of our relationship."
—Anonymous
29."I met my boyfriend at work. I was new and he had been there for years and was a manager (not mine). I was in a relationship and so was he."
"Both our relationships ended at the same time and even though we rebounded with each other, I never thought it would last. Here we are — five years later —still in love. We kept it a secret but nothing ever stays secret long. And I'm not ashamed of us."
30."I had a horrible experience. I started seeing the boss’s brother (who also worked there) on the down low. We went out a few times but I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship and I felt smothered. I broke it off in as gentle and friendly of a way as possible, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. He left gifts in my office for weeks and would come into my office and spend hours just trying to talk during work."
"Eventually he got hostile and refused to do his job for me (he was our office notary as well as the only other attorney besides his brother). He told me if I told his brother what was happening, he’d tell him we’d hooked up in the office and get me fired. Absolute hell. He eventually got his family to arrange a marriage for him with someone from the old country and it got a bit better, but my suffering didn’t fully end until I left the job and the country."
—Anonymous
31."Me and my boyfriend have been together nearly 10 years. We met at a restaurant where he was a chef and I was a waiter."
"It was weird as hell working together and secretly sleeping with each other without everyone knowing our business. The key is to find another job ASAP and the relationship might last."
32."I met my boyfriend at work. Though I worked in the office and he in the field, our paths still crossed. My favorite was when he would leave little notes on my desk for me so when I came in in the morning I would see them. We no longer work together, but 5+ years later we are still together."
—Anonymous
33."My S.O. and I used to work together. We're both chefs and I started working in the restaurant where he was working already. We did some dinners together and always ended up having a couple of drinks after our shift. It took us months to actually be together, both afraid of a work relationship, but it just got to a stage where we just couldn't not be together anymore."
"We were really into each other when it finally happened. We worked together for a while. There was some hard days, and it was tough to separate the fights and the work problems. But eventually he found another job, I didn't stay much longer, and we promised to never work together again."
34."I dated a guy I worked with last year. It was great, we started out on the same work team but eventually got switched around, so while we worked at the same place, we no longer worked at the same time. We only told a few coworkers and management didn’t find out."
I knew I wasn’t staying, as it was only a job during my gap year. We’re both level-headed people who wouldn’t cause drama even if it had ended while we still worked together.
Unfortunately it did end, but after we both quit. The best advice I would give is to really analyze the person before asking them out or agreeing to go out with them. Are they going to be dramatic if you break up? Will they ignore you, causing work issues? If you think there’s even the slightest chance that the relationship could or will negatively impact your jobs, don’t do it unless you want to lose both your job and the relationship."
35."I worked at a place where I met my now-husband. I had been working there for about seven years at that point and my coworkers had been there for me through my divorce and watched me single-parent and go to school, so they were all very supportive of me."
"We were definitely the 'work couple.' He left the company after about a year and I went with him shortly after. We now work at the same place again but I am in office and he is in field so we don't see each other at work. He is the best ever and the circumstances around him working at the place I worked was very coincidental, so we clearly were meant to meet each other."
36."I’m sure there are some success stories out there. But in all the places I’ve worked, I’ve never seen it *not* get messy and throw off the vibes of the entire workplace."
37."I’m a team lead for my department and he started working in a different department that works closely with mine. It turns out we went to the same college with the same major but had never met before. He started flirting and I wasn’t super interested at first but all my coworkers teased me about him."
"Our 'work mom' actually encouraged him to ask me out (with my permission) but I was super nervous about telling my boss. She ended up not really caring about us dating and was excited for us. We’ve now been dating for a couple months and couldn’t be happier."