People Who Realized Their Marriage Was Doomed During Their Wedding Day Are Sharing Their Stories
We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community who realized they were making a big mistake on their wedding day to share their stories. Here's what was revealed:
1."My dad said to me before he walked me down the aisle, 'You don't have to do this if you don't want to.' When we started down the aisle, I thought, 'I can always get a divorce.' It's pretty bad when you think of divorce before you say 'I do.'"
—Anonymous
2."My (now ex) husband and his best man were drunk and giggling with excitement about how when we cut the cake, he was supposed to take a huge piece of it and squish it in my face. When I heard about it, I begged him not to, and he told me I was being ridiculous and had to loosen up. When it came time, he did ram an enormous piece of cake in my face. It was so large that it covered my entire face. He did it with so much force that the pictures (which he and his friend howled over) showed it oozing out between his fingers. It took me years to realize how this was a metaphor for how he listened to my feelings and put me down in front of others."
—Anonymous
3."I had his best friend (female) from out of state for the bachelorette party. After our parties were over, he spent the night cuddling her. The following morning, he got up and immediately started drinking again. My best friend did my hair, and it didn't turn out as planned. I was running late trying to fix it when he called, saying he was leaving if I wasn't there on time. I showed up with half of my hair fixed. He immediately went for a beer as soon as the vows were said. While taking photos, the photographer had to ask him to look at me instead of his friend. He walked out midway through our wedding dance."
"Then, I found out that after he had told me that his family couldn't get off work to attend, he had called them and told them not to come. Later that night, he insisted that we did not get married because I accidentally put the ring on his right hand. We did not have sex or even sleep in the same bed that night."
4."I knew my marriage was doomed when he and his sister shared a kiss at our reception. Mind you, this was not a peck on the cheek. It was a full-on French kiss with tongues and all. I was completely disgusted. I stayed with him for way too long, and his closeness with his sister was always apparent."
—Anonymous
5."His mom told me, 'Thank you for marrying my son. You can do better, but he can't.' She was right."
—Anonymous
6."As we were finalizing the guest list and seating chart right before our wedding, my husband said to me, 'Don't take this the wrong way, but the crappy thing is that I will have to hang out with you rather than all my friends.' I understand that some of his friends were traveling a great distance to attend our wedding, but exactly how was I supposed to take this statement? I should've run while I had the chance. He consistently chose his friends over me throughout our marriage, even after we had kids."
—Anonymous
7."We were going to get married in my grandparents' backyard. I stayed with my grandparents, and when the flowers arrived, I realized they weren't what we had ordered. My ex and I were both born in June, so the flowers were supposed to be honeysuckle and rose since I read somewhere those were June's birth flowers. I asked the florist, and they said my ex approved the change. It turns out his mom thought the flowers were cliche and cheesy, so he changed them to make her happy. Then, as his mom and sister arrived to help me get ready, his mom was in a white dress and tiara. I called my ex to tell him and asked him to talk to her. He said he would tell her that she shouldn't have worn white, but he felt it was too late to ask her to change and that they probably spent a lot of money on her outfit. He didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable and didn't want to confront her because either way, she'd guilt him into letting her have her way."
"I told him I felt uncomfortable, and he said he didn't want to make his mom mad. I realized my fiancé had no backbone and that his mother would be making decisions for both of us and any of our future children. Our marriage would be filled with so much resentment. I told him the wedding was off and told his mom and sister they needed to leave. It was too late to get a refund for the food, flowers, and the DJ, but we still had a great party!"
—Anonymous
8."My now ex-husband didn't look at me during the vows. He wouldn't dance with me at the reception — like, actually refused when I asked him. He spent all of the reception time visiting with friends who had come in from out of town. At the hotel the night after the reception, he proceeded to drunkenly scream at me while I was in the bathtub, naked and crying, about 'my behavior.' Now, 11 years later, I can see that it was because he never wanted to marry me, and I am furious that I didn't listen to my gut."
—Anonymous
9."When my husband-to-be guzzled the communion wine bottle while waiting for the wedding to start, then later at the hotel parking lot, he threw up, and I had to carry him and all our luggage to the hotel room. He passed out, and I called my mom crying on my wedding night!"
—Anonymous
10."My father, as he was walking me down the aisle, said, 'Are you sure? If you aren't, life is too short. I will get you out of here so fast that no one will miss you.' I stayed. But 10 years later, I wished I had run when my dad secretly suggested it. I wanted to run, but good manners got in the way. I actually knew we were doomed from that point on."
11."I was stood up by my ex-wife at the altar while in my military dress uniform. She was extremely late to the point where I could no longer keep my officer's eyes open, and the person who was supposed to marry us had to leave for another wedding. This was at 8:00 a.m. My whole family showed up. My brother showed up drunk, and my family left before the cake was cut. No wedding gifts were given."
"Our wedding was a disaster. Our marriage only lasted eight months. She didn't work, and she spent all of our money. I worked two jobs to support us and our daughter (who we had eight months before getting married). She cheated and left. She wrote me a letter to tell me she cheated and claimed that I couldn't afford her."
12."When he said, 'I take you to be my awful wedded wife.' After two and a half years, we three divorced — me, him, and his mother."
—Anonymous
13."My mother and I got food poisoning the day before the wedding, my matron of honor was covered in chicken pox scabs, and it rained. God was trying to get through to me, but did I listen? Of course not!"
14."I knew it was a mistake when I had to get extremely inebriated (by smoking a couple of joints and drinking 13 bottles of beer) just to muster the courage to walk down the aisle and say 'I do.' I was hoping I would pass out and not go through with it, but shockingly, I was still able to function and stupidly said, 'I do.' We were divorced in less than a year. Lesson learned. Never let anyone guilt you into doing something you know isn't right for you. I chalk it up to being young and naive. This year would be my 21st wedding anniversary with my second wife. I made sure I did it right the second time."
15."Instead of waiting a year and going ahead with the big wedding we were planning, we got married spur of the moment. Because of this, we couldn't book time off work for a honeymoon and planned to spend a quiet weekend at home. I didn't know my husband had invited his mom and stepdad to stay the weekend with us in our tiny one-bedroom basement suite. My mother-in-law had two other sons in town who actually lived in big houses, but she insisted on staying with us and bringing her two dogs and cat! Instead of a nice honeymoon weekend, we had our first fight."
16."The photographer wanted to have me pose like I was going to escape through a window in front of the church before people started to arrive. I did and very seriously thought about making it a reality."
17."Frankly, I had the overwhelming urge to run before the ceremony. I came close and was angry at myself for a long time because I chickened out. And then, I spent most of the night trying to get away from him because I felt so trapped and uncomfortable. I knew it was doomed, but I felt like I was too deep into it and would disappoint my parents, etc. Here's a pro tip for anyone who reads this and has doubts: This is the time to leave. It's not too late. People won't hate you. If they do, they're the problem. Please don't marry someone when you know it's doomed. Divorce is far messier than a canceled wedding."
18."About two weeks before getting married, I teared up thinking about it and blamed it on cold feet. My mother knew something was up, but I played it off as stress. The day of, as the priest had me recite vows, my ex-boyfriend popped up in my mind as I stared at my soon-to-be husband. We were married for 13 years, and I occasionally joked with him that if he did something I wasn't fond of, I'd make sure my 'second husband' wouldn't do it. I don't regret getting married, but I should have listened to my instincts. We grew apart and were on two completely different paths in life. I hear he is happy now, and I'm happy for him. As for me? This is the happiest I have ever been, so divorce is not always a bad thing."
—Anonymous
19."Everyone knew we were wrong for each other. Our relationship started because he stalked me, and I caved into the date. He never left me alone, so I just gave up. We were both in the military, and my commander called his commander to stagger out our days off, so we couldn't find the time to be together. I got pregnant after they staggered our days off, so I was more interested in the marriage for the sake of our child. Our bosses coordinated to deny our leave because they saw the warning signs. We got married anyway, and everything went wrong on our wedding day. Flights were delayed, there were car problems and navigation problems, and we showed up an hour late and had to pay the minister extra."
"I started crying as I walked down the aisle because I was so terrified but still thought being married was better than being single. Even the minister and my mother insisted that marriage wasn't necessary (biggest red flag!). The next morning began three years of physical abuse. I caved under the emotional strain and needed psychiatric care. I went into a domestic violence shelter, which he used to get primary custody. The judge said that since the abuse was only directed towards me (even when I was pregnant), he was more stable and reliable."
20."I woke up and asked my sister, 'Tell me again why I'm doing this?' She said she had no idea. There were 13 people in attendance. That should have been a clue."
—Anonymous
21."I fell in love with her and her five-month-old daughter. The night before we were to be married, she ran into the father of her child. It was apparent to me by her reaction that she was not ready to marry me. I was in shock and didn't know what to do, so we went ahead with the wedding the next day. She broke down at the reception and disappeared with her maid of honor for two hours. We skipped the honeymoon and she didn't touch me for over a year. I thought about leaving daily, but I adored her and her daughter. I couldn't bring myself to leave. We were roommates for 24 years and had an additional child, further making it impossible for me to walk away. When our youngest left for college and the empty nest was imminent, she started running around with other men. She told me she had no business marrying me. I love our daughters, so I can't say I wish I had never met her. A broken heart sure does ache, though."
—Anonymous
22."After our vows, as we were being congratulated, a male family friend told my new husband, 'Treat her well. You got a good one.' My husband got angry over the comment and accused me of cheating on him with that friend. The marriage lasted less than three years."
—Anonymous
23."I knew I was making a mistake walking down the aisle. Holding my dad's arm at the back of the church, he leaned in and jokingly asked if I was sure I wanted to go through with it. I knew I did NOT want to go through with it, but I saw all those people in the pews. I was an only child, and I knew my mother would be humiliated if I turned back, so I walked down the aisle on my dad's arm and married a man who made me miserable for nearly 15 years. The man I was in love with was 20 years older than me (and my literature professor). My mother just wasn't having that relationship at all, so I married someone I thought she would like. I got two wonderful sons from the marriage, so I don't regret it. But I very much resent wasting 15 years of my life pining for another man. Incidentally, I eventually married that other man 20 years after I fell in love with him. We were together for 23 years until he passed away. Those were some of the best years of my life."
—Anonymous
24."I had a nagging feeling for the months leading up to the wedding that I wasn't feeling the same level of excitement that my friends seemed to be feeling leading up to their weddings. I kept pushing out the timeline on when I would make a decision, hoping that the feelings of dread would subside, but the bridal shower came and went, the bachelorette party came and went, and I kept chalking the anxiety up to stress. On our wedding day, I could not stop crying while getting my makeup done, and it was not out of joy but out of sheer panic. My friend had some Ativan on hand, and I took it. Walking down the aisle, I saw him crying and began laughing hysterically. It was horribly awkward for everyone, and throughout the entire ceremony, I kept laughing and could barely repeat my vows."
"My now husband proceeded to get blackout drunk, and after I got him into bed, I spent the rest of my wedding night googling how to get an annulment and even tried emailing the pastor to see if he would refrain from actually filing the paperwork to make the marriage legal. We separated after eight months, and I haven't seen him since."
—Anonymous
25."I knew it was doomed when my husband refused to go to the hotel room my father had bought for us. He was more concerned with one of my girlfriends. Her boyfriend drank way too much and passed out on my bed. My new husband spent the night chatting with her instead of being with me. I went to bed alone in the guest room. The fact that the marriage lasted six years was a testament to my patience or stupidity."
—Anonymous
26."Even before the ceremony, things were going wrong. We did DIY bouquets, and some of the flowers had died, so we sent a couple of friends racing around the morning of to find replacements. My mother was fighting with the photographer. Our cake started melting. A couple of people had shown up who HADN'T been invited. But when it came time to walk down the aisle, it hit me: I wasn't even excited. Not one single bit. This wasn't a case of nerves or cold feet. This was full-on DREAD setting in. But everything was paid for, everyone was there, and my dad was about to walk me down to my fiancé. I didn't see a way out. I thought my dad would be mad at me about wasted money if I decided not to get married at the last minute. I found out many years later that he wouldn't have been. He just wants me to be happy finally."
"I was too worried about what everyone else would think and wasn't paying attention to what I was thinking. If I had listened to my intuition, I would have saved myself a lot of years of hurt and stress."
—Anonymous
27."I met this guy in 1986 through work. I was 38, and he was 36. I fell for him hard. We married in 1987. I knew he was up to no good through our courtship, but I married him anyway. Sometimes, love makes you foolish. On the day we got married, he dropped me off at home and said he'd be right back and he needed to take care of something. He never returned that night, and I spent the honeymoon alone. Actually, I didn't see him for two weeks. I knew I made a bad decision. I stayed married to him for 21 years. He made very bad decisions with his life that only affected him, not me. I was very independent and had two jobs, always working and making great decisions for myself and my future. I had a plan."
"I finally divorced him in 2007 after he ended up in jail. Time passed, and I learned that he was a farmer by trade in our marriage. He was planting his seeds all over town. He had seven kids with seven different women. Hilarious. He's probably a deadbeat father. I'm certain he never paid child support. What a total and complete loser. Anyway, I'm living a great life now with a real man who loves me completely. He's the best husband ever and my favorite person. It's amazing how life has a plan for all of us."
—Anonymous
28."Our wedding day happened during a historic flood in the region. I was ready on time but told to wait in a separate building until the rain subsided. I was happy and excited after going down the aisle with my father and sitting at the front of the church with my soon-to-be husband. My fiancé turned and looked at me and said, 'Well, you certainly didn't disappoint.' I thought he meant I looked beautiful. He saw my expression and said, 'No, you were late.' He thought this was funny because I'm always 10-15 minutes late. I was devastated and realized I was marrying someone who may not really GET me."
—Anonymous
29."My husband danced with his 'friend' more than me. He left me six months later, and they got together while my mother was dying in the hospital from cancer."
—Anonymous
30."The minister forgot to come to the wedding. The organist played all of the planned music while his wife called around looking for him. Then, he didn't use the preferred vows we had chosen. The universe was trying to warn me."
—Anonymous
31.And: "I honestly knew while walking down the aisle that the marriage wouldn't last, and the whole day reinforced it. He spent the day partying with his friends. I spent the day greeting people his parents invited, whom I did not know. Then, when the wedding ended, and we took the car to our hotel, he wanted to go to the hotel across the street to get a cooler of alcohol from his mom. I was exhausted from talking to strangers and went to the hotel room alone. It was really awkward in the elevator. A guy looked at me in my wedding dress and asked, 'You're alone?' My husband then stayed at the hotel, partying with his family for an hour. Sadly, I stayed married to him for almost 20 years. It's hard to regret because of the kids, but it was a lonely day and a lonely life with someone who put partying before the family the entire time. I should have left sooner."
—Anonymous
Oh, wow. :( Did you realize your marriage was doomed during your wedding day? What happened? Tell us in the comments or submit anonymously using this form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.