People Are Revealing Their Worst, Most Unprofessional Encounters With Doctors, And It's Incredibly Jarring
We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us about the worst advice they've ever received from a doctor. While the vast majority of healthcare workers are compassionate, determined, hard-working individuals, there are still flaws in the system that must be addressed. Bias, differences of opinion, lack of research, hubris, and many other factors can interfere with a patient's ability to get proper care, and we must discuss these problems in hopes of helping others receive better care in the future. We received so many worrisome stories that we decided to make a part two. Here's what people shared:
1."I was on the verge of kidney failure. The family doctor refused to send me to a nephrologist so my insurance could take care of it. All she did was pat my back for 15 seconds and complain that my generation was formed of snowflakes. She then accused me of wanting a day off from work after I insisted I receive sick leave since I couldn't go to another doctor (I would have to pay out of my pocket) because I worked the night shift. Not only did she insult me, but she prescribed me meds for urinary tract infections. Had I not got to the ER that day, I wouldn't have both of my kidneys today. I would have been on dialysis because I had a massive stone that needed to be removed immediately."
2."I saw an endocrinologist over Zoom during the pandemic. I had Bariatric surgery before the pandemic and was working to maintain the weight loss. This woman, who had never met me, hadn't done bloodwork on me, and didn't know anything about my general health, suggested I stop eating fruit. That was her medical advice! Just don't have fruit. Ever again. Did she want me to get scurvy? Unbelievable."
3."My doctor told me to 'get over my grief' because I gained weight."
4."After moving out of my parents' house at age 18, the chronic headaches I had starting when I was 15 got so much worse. I went to a doctor (who happened to be the father of a former classmate) who asked me if I smoked. I said no, but my father smoked two or three packs a day for most of my life. The doctor then suggested my headaches were secondhand nicotine withdrawal, and he said that taking up smoking would probably cure them. So, I took up smoking. At first, it seemed to work for about a year, but then the headaches kicked back in even worse than before, so I quit smoking. Over the next 10 years, they became unbearable!"
"I ended up eventually being able to see a neurologist who told me that not only did the smoking I was around and had done for myself exacerbate my headaches, but that I actually had migraines with an aura that proved very difficult to treat because they had gone on for so long! It was 20 years of headache hell made worse by cigarettes and having a doctor who saw them as a legitimate treatment. I never saw that doctor again, though I know his son also went on to become a doctor. I hope he paid attention to medical school and not his father!"
—Anonymous
5."I went to my gyno for what I knew was a bladder infection (I was prone to them as a kid). She asked about my symptoms, then said I had chlamydia and I needed to tell my husband. I said there was no way. We were in a committed marriage, and he'd never cheat. She said he did, and I also needed to ensure he got treated. She did a swab, which I still protested as I KNEW it wasn't necessary, and then I peed in a cup. She prescribed me meds for chlamydia and not for the bladder infection. I refused to take them. Two days later, I got a call from her nurse. 'Hi, you don't have chlamydia, so please stop taking the meds. You have a bladder infection, and we've sent your prescription in.' That woman really could have cost me my marriage if I hadn't trusted my husband. I get angry every time I think about it. Never saw her again."
6."When I was around 7 years old, my front grown-up teeth had just grown in, and they were super crooked. I mean, one was sideways on top of the other, and the other was crooked. My parents took me to my children's dentist, and she just said, 'Push on it with your finger a couple of times a day, and it will go down.' A couple of months later, I switched to my parent's dentist, and she took one look at my mouth and was like, 'This girl needs braces. Immediately.' Yes, 7 is young to start braces, but every new tooth that came in needed help. I literally had one come in completely backward. I can only imagine what the approach to that one would've been."
7."I went into a clinic because I felt a couple of lumps in my breast. I had to wait and stress for an hour and a half sitting in the waiting room until the doctor finally entered the exam room. The nurse took my blood pressure. With a concerned look, she tells me my blood pressure is quite high, and she's concerned. I was 26 at the time. The nurse relayed this to the doctor, who proceeded to prescribe me high-blood-pressure medication. The first time I took it, I passed out while home alone with my two young children in the house. I called and explained to the nurse and was told to stop taking them and come right back. I see the doctor again, and she says, 'Well, your blood pressure is in the normal range,' to which I reply, 'Maybe my blood pressure was high because I was so nervous about being examined for lumps in my breast.' To this, the genius replies, 'That's actually a good point.' Never saw her again."
8."My PCP told me for years that I didn't need to see an OB-GYN because she could do my pelvic exams. After my child was born, I figured that would be fine. She gave me one checkup and a birth control pill refill. The next year, she refused to do it again. She said that The Pill didn't prevent ovulation, only implantation, so 'every time you and your husband have sex, you are killing a little lost soul.' She added, 'I'd feel better if I thought you were using a condom too because at least then you'd be less likely to do so.' She left the room with a chip on her shoulder. If only she had asked, I could have told her that I HAD often asked my husband to use a condom 'just in case' and often snuck in a foam as well because I was so terrified of ever getting pregnant again. But no one has ever asked me that. I never went to her again, obviously."
—e71
9."I was experiencing clinical depression and anxiety, along with suicidal ideation, when I went to the clinic for a 'women's wellness' appointment. I am a military spouse, so the appointment was at the base clinic with a military PA. When she did the mental health screening, I told her about my mental health and that I was in counseling. She said, 'It sounds like the military lifestyle is causing this. Imagine your life like a clock counting down. It'll end eventually.' Horrible advice to someone on the brink of suicide. Around the same time, an on-base behavioral health specialist told me that divorce may be the best option."
"Then, A DIFFERENT provider on base said, 'You've got to remember that your husband is a military officer. Have you thought about how difficult this is for HIM? Have you thought about how your situation makes him look? Right now, it's time to focus on his career and goals. Once he can retire, you can take time to sort yourself out and maybe move past your issues.' I'm honestly amazed I survived."
10."This happened to my best friend when she was having a baby. When she was giving birth for the first time, she wanted to receive the epidural. She was talking with the doctor who was going to be delivering her baby. The doctor said she highly warns against epidurals and advised my friend that it would be best if pain medications weren't used. My friend has no bad history with or allergies to medication, nor did she have a medical history suggesting the epidural/pain meds would be bad for her. The doctor simply wanted to try another route. She suggested aromatherapy therapy instead of any pain medicine! She was going to get some staff to come in and set up an aromatherapy station. This was at a regular public hospital! Just give medicine like you're supposed to!"
11."I asked my (infant) son's pediatrician how I could get him to stop wanting to breastfeed so often, and he replied, 'Why don't you try wearing a bra?'"
12."I had a steady six-month-long migraine that medicine wasn't helping. I told my primary care physician that it started at the same time as starting a new medicine, but she insisted that couldn't be the case. Well, after five months, I decided to see a neurologist since they had a specialist who dealt with headaches/migraines. The neurologist wanted me to get an MRI to rule out anything else. It turned out that I had a tumor on my pituitary gland! When I went back to the PCP, she actually told me that going to the neurologist and getting the MRI done was the 'wrong thing to do.'"
"That was my last appointment with her! I still had the migraine, but my next PCP actually listened to me and took me off the medicine I suspected was causing my migraine. I was right; as soon as I stopped taking it, the migraine stopped."
13."I went to a specialist for my back. A SPECIALIST! He was a creepy older man who would only talk about my weight each appointment, not giving me any info about my back issues (that I had long before I had gained weight, and also, I was only 40 lbs overweight). Long story short: He told me I should get on Weight Watchers. Yes. An orthopedic specialist I was seeing for severe back issues that weren't tied to my weight at all tried to get me to sign up for Weight Watchers. He also spoke about my weight rudely and insultingly, all while scribbling random drawings on his papers (my chart/file). I only went for two or three appointments, and then I never went back. I left crying each time."
14."I had a hormonal IUD put in. I had informed the doctor that I was VERY sensitive to hormones and reacted badly to them in the past, and wanted nonhormonal birth control, but she insisted it would be fine. Fast forward five days later: I’ve had a migraine for four days nonstop, my vision is blurred, and I had the feeling of pressure building in my head. I couldn't drive or work. All I could do was sit in a dark room. I couldn't get in to see my doctor, so I was told to go to the emergency room. I told them I thought it was the birth control causing this and asked them to please take the IUD out. The doctor said no, birth control doesn’t do that, and he refused to take it out. He then proceeded to inject a local anesthetic into the back of my head/neck and told me that I was tense from work (I work in construction) and that I needed to relax my shoulders. He said that should make the headache go away. Then, they sent me home."
"The next day, I demanded to see my doctor and told her if she didn't take the IUD out, I would do it myself. She took it out and said, 'Wow, you are really sensitive to hormones.' Funny, almost like I told you? The migraine was gone the next day."
15."Not me, but my daughter. For years, my daughter had horrible stomach pains. So many times, I waited with her in the ER because, of course, it never hurt when we were at the regular doctor's office. Finally, we were told she had a mild allergy to beef and dairy, and that was the issue. We stopped using it for her meals. I even locked the pantry and fridge. Finally, we removed every bit of beef and dairy from the house. She still had issues. The doctor told me she must be lying and eating it at a friend's house. I even remember not letting her have cake at a birthday party. Finally, when she was 10, a PA ran some additional tests because she was extremely tall for her age. She ran tests that were not usually run on younger children. They rushed her into emergency surgery and removed her gallbladder. The surgeon said she would not have lasted another day without it bursting. She had been having gallstone pain for years."
16."I went into labor on December 24, 2021, and showed up at the hospital around 7:00 p.m. My contractions were about two minutes apart. By the time they saw me, it was around 9:00 p.m. They checked me and said I was five centimeters dilated. Still, they couldn't admit me because there weren't any doctors available (as they were having a Christmas dinner), so they told me to come back when I was seven centimeters dilated. I mentioned that with my first labor, it took only five hours to go from four centimeters to nine centimeters. This was my second, and I was concerned it would be faster. They said to go home and come back when I was ready to push. It was very frustrating, but we left the hospital and headed towards home (30 minutes away)."
"We stopped at McDonald's to get me a cold smoothie because everything else was closed, and the pain was too much. Being in the car made all the contractions feel worse. As soon as we got the smoothie, I asked my husband to drive me back to the hospital because my contractions were coming too quickly. By the time we made it back to the hospital, found parking, and walked up to the maternity unit, it was almost 11:30. They said I was already too far along and couldn't get an epidural. My son was born at 12:05 a.m. on December 25, 2021. People get excited about me having a 'Christmas baby,' but it was the worst experience ever. No one was available to help, and I didn't have the opportunity to get an epidural. It actually wasn't as bad not having an epidural during labor since my labors are very quick, but the sewing-up part is brutal without an epidural."
17."This certainly isn't the worst thing a medical professional has ever dismissed me over, but shout-out to the time I saw a GP about the severe social anxiety I was experiencing around making phone calls, and he gave me a leaflet with a phone number to call on it. I pointed out how absurd that was, and he shrugged."
18."Superbloom of 2017 in Southern California. My allergies were so bad that they re-activated my childhood asthma. I was using an inhaler and breaking out in hives for weeks. I didn't have insurance, so I finally forked out the $90 at urgent care and found out I was allergic to my inhaler. Their advice? 'Stop using the inhaler, and the hives should go away.' When I asked what to do about my asthma, they told me to use the inhaler. I ended up in the ER less than a week later when I woke up with a severe allergic reaction. My eyes were swollen shut. The ER told me to switch allergy meds because I'd probably plateaued on Claritin and to 'reduce my stress.' I was a single mom, working and in school, and fighting my ex in court. HOW?"
"Then they came to discuss how I would pay my bill, and I started breaking out in hives. The doctor said, 'You have to stop stressing out.' That bit of medical advice cost me $700."
19."A male doctor suggested the pull-out method for birth control. I didn't even dignify that with a response."
20."I have SO many stories, but I must go with the grossest instance of the most terrible 'advice' I've ever received. In 2016, I had been dealing with ongoing gynecological issues for over two years. Chronic, debilitating pain was the primary issue. After the OB-GYN I had been seeing for five years continued to dismiss my complaints, I switched to a different provider. The first time I saw the new provider, he had to run tests and do a pelvic exam to establish care and try to understand the problem. The pelvic exam, which is typically uncomfortable anyway, was EXCRUCIATING. Despite my best efforts to maintain my composure and be still, I cried and writhed on the table. I inadvertently yelped a few times and clawed at the protective paper sheet. I had given birth twice at that point, and childbirth was preferable to this particular exam. It was sheer agony."
"When it was finally over, as the doctor pulled off his gloves, he asked if it hurt. I was slightly taken aback because it was obvious. I answered anyway, with a meek yes. This slimy, grotesque human being LOOKED ME IN THE EYE AND SMILED when he said, 'If you ever want more pain, just come back.' That provider was part of a larger network. When I tried to file a complaint with his superior, I was told, 'He's uncomfortable around women and doesn't have a great bedside manner, but there's nothing we can do except assign you to a different provider.' Ugh."
—Anonymous
21."My mom was in labor with me and went to the hospital. I'm the youngest of four, so she knew mostly what to expect. When she got there, the nurses told her that the doctor who was going to be in the room was taking his lunch break, and they genuinely told my mom to keep her knees closed to keep me from crowning. My dad told them that that wouldn't be good for the baby, and I ended up being born without the doctor present. The nurses were mad (apparently, the doctor had a problem with nurses telling him he was needed for births). Why would anyone in labor and delivery tell a person in active labor to keep their knees closed to prevent a birth?"
22."I was struggling with extreme fatigue and low energy to the point that I had to reduce my hours at work because I could not stay awake for a full day. I slept 10-12 hours at night and took a nap on my lunch break and a nap after work. I tried everything (more water, a healthy diet, B vitamins, vitamin D, getting outside, cutting out caffeine, and exercising, even though I felt like passing out after 10 minutes of exerted energy), but nothing helped. This went on for over two years. One of the doctors I visited told me, 'Have you ever thought about just telling yourself you're not tired? Sometimes, if you say something to yourself, you will start to believe it.' I was absolutely appalled at her dismissal of my symptoms, as well as the terrible advice."
"Several months later, I finally discovered that I had several food sensitivities (gluten, corn, sugar, milk) that were causing the symptoms. After an elimination diet of all grains and dairy, I started feeling a difference within four or five days and could stay awake on my lunch break for the first time in over two years. It was life-altering stuff."
—Anonymous
23.And: "I had been suffering from Menorrhagia, which had been getting progressively worse over two years, so I finally came to my doctor traumatized and in tears saying, 'Please do something to make it stop.' He was not impressed with my anxiety and tears and said, 'Don't worry, you can't die from it.' So, I believed him, and two years later, I actually did almost die from it because I remembered what he said and didn't go to the hospital early enough. The only thing that made me go was when my Apple Watch showed me having a heart rate of 140 just getting up to walk across the house. They saved my life at the hospital with a couple of blood transfusions and medication to stop the bleeding."
—Anonymous
Have you ever received truly awful advice from a healthcare professional? Have you ever had your concerns dismissed, only to end up in an emergency situation later? Tell us your story in the comments or submit it anonymously using this form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. Other international suicide helplines can be found at befrienders.org. The Trevor Project, which provides help and suicide-prevention resources for LGBTQ youth, is 1-866-488-7386.
The National Eating Disorders Association helpline is 1-800-931-2237; for 24/7 crisis support, text “NEDA” to 741741.