16 Things You Learn About Being An Adult That Honestly Always Feel A Little Weird
Whether you've been working for a while or have just graduated college, being in your 20s is SO confusing. It can be so strange when some people you know are married with a kid, and some are still going to college and living at their parents'. So, I turned to the BuzzFeed Community to ask: What about life totally surprised you in your 20s? Here are some of the best answers:
1."[I was surprised] that I can just make decisions because…I want to? If I see something I want to try at the store, I can buy it without needing to ask. I can go for a walk or go out wherever and whenever I want without needing to tell someone. I can rearrange all the furniture in my apartment for no reason. It’s bizarre to be limited and controlled only by myself."
2."I’m 29, and it’s still weird for me to go to a fast food restaurant without having to ask. Like, if I’m hungry and don’t feel like cooking, I can just…go pick something up."
3."Feeling stuck in life because I no longer have academics to quantify my accomplishments. I'm 23 and graduated college in 2022, and for a while, I felt like I was failing because I wasn't getting the constant feedback of being in school and hitting milestones."
"I also struggled to get a job that made use of my degree, and my schedule made it so I couldn't participate in my usual hobbies in my free time.
"I had to find new ways to measure my growth and celebrate little wins in my life. I finally have my first 'real' job, and I feel like I've grown and learned more in the six months I've been there than in the last two years of college. And this job will let me get back into doing what I love! Grades are not the only way to measure success."
4."You never actually feel like [an] adult. I'm 27 and forget I'm not a teenager anymore."
"Also, the kitchen bin is always full no matter when you empty it."
5."I'm in my 30s, and I felt so betrayed when I realized all adults are just winging it. I've been waiting for that 'I'm an adult, I know I'm doing' feeling."
6."Money is worth so much less than what it sounds like. I grew up middle/upper middle class (one parent was in and out of work), and while my parents never shared the exact cost of our lives, I thought I had an idea of what was a good amount of money. I remember being so excited for my first salaried job at $52k a year. I thought I was making so much money."
"I had an idea of what living expenses would cost me, as I had covered everything but rent in college (and took out loans on tuition). But since there was no transit in my area, my new job required I get a car and insurance.
"The cheapest rent I could find within a reasonable commute from my job was $1,350 a month for a 340-square-foot studio. Add on student loan payments and bills, and suddenly, that $52k a year was nothing. I'd always considered myself relatively frugal, but it becomes suddenly very hard to save money when you have so many fixed expenses."
—Anonymous
7."I’m 29 and learning to accept that my house will never be as clean as the one I grew up in. My mom stayed home, and our house was the perfect blend of clean and cozy. It smelled like fresh laundry and nice soap. I actually like cleaning because of my mom — she’d always say it was an act of appreciation for what we have."
"My fiancé and I both work full-time jobs, and I have a side gig. We keep our house tidy and clean-ish; I just miss the feeling of living somewhere super well-kept. It’s exhausting trying to keep up with it all especially with two big perfect angel dogs who leave their dust everywhere. I try to tap into that 'act of appreciation' energy, but really, I just wanna do other stuff with the little down time I get!"
"That is a lovely sentiment!"
8."You're never done with the dishes. No matter how many dishes you do, within less then a day, you or someone you love will make more dishes."
—Anonymous
9."That my parents wouldn't keep paying for everything! How am I supposed to live?"
10."[What surprised me was] that I didn't magically become an adult and know everything. As a kid I always thought adults knew what they were doing (for the most part), so I assumed once I became one, I'd be able to do everything. Nope, not the case."
"Only thing I [learned] was that adults are just as clueless as kids are, but just do a better job at hiding it or faking it.
"I'm 35 and literally half my job is 'Hell if I know, let's see if this works.' Luckily, it's worked out so far."
"I’m the same age and have the same feeling!"
11."Not only are all of my [friends] in different points in their lives, but they are all in different parts of the world. It's hard not only to meet up with them, but to talk to them and catch up because of time differences."
—Anonymous
12."Take your plans, light them on fire, and throw them out the window. Life is weird, and it is so wonderful. It took several years for me to chill and go with what life had in store (and a prescription to Zoloft and some therapy)."
"Hold your friends close. Even if you live across the country, they can still be major parts of your life. Don't be afraid to try new things. It'll change your life for the better. Find your why. Hold it and move it. Your why might change, but I hope your passion for it never does. You've got this, babes!"
—Anonymous
13."For me, it was finding out that it's really expensive to be without insurance, especially health insurance. I haven't been in a doctor's office since I was in college, and I really regret not going more often when it was still free. Now when I need it the most, I can't find a decent affordable plan because apparently, I make 'too much' for a single person... Someone, take me to Canada!"
—Anonymous
14."It really shocked me how my parents completely stopped parenting any of their kids when we moved out. They traveled and played golf constantly and couldn’t be bothered with 'boring' stuff like spending time with their adult kids or grandkids."
"If a [proposed plan] wasn’t what they wanted to do, they simply ignored it. Needless to say, our family has totally fallen apart. Maybe it's for the better. Clearly, our parents don’t want to spend time with us, so now, sadly, the feeling is mutual. I never could have predicted this in a million years."
—Anonymous
15."Car repairs are one thing that always take me by surprise. In the past two years, I've had to get over $6,000 or $7,000 worth of work done."
—Anonymous
16.And, finally: "What I learned in my 20s is that everyone is effed in the head one way or another."
If you've lived through any amount of your 20s, feel free to tell us all about it in the comments below. Or, if you prefer, you're welcome to share in the anonymous Google form. Your story may be featured in an upcoming BuzzFeed Community post!
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
