People Are Sharing Where Their Former School Bullies Ended Up Later In Life, And It's A Wild Ride
We recently shared a Reddit thread about where people's former childhood bullies ended up later in life. This prompted BuzzFeed Community users to tell us about what happened to their former school bullies once they became adults. The stories were pretty interesting. Here's what people shared:
1."I was bullied throughout school, all the way from elementary through high school. One particular bully called my parents one day out of the blue, apologizing for what he'd done. It turns out he went into the military, and I guess getting bullied during training made him realize what an a-hole he was. However, in my opinion, it was too little too late. The damage was already done. No amount of apologizing will fix what was broken."
—Anonymous
2."One of my former bullies is a stand-up comedian/actor. He apologized, invited me to one of his shows, and said I could heckle him if I wanted to."
—Anonymous
3."She always made fun of me and turned my two best friends against me. I saw her at a reunion a few years ago. She approached me with that familiar nasty look on her face, like she was going to make some snide comment with the intent to humiliate me. I pretended to have no idea who she was, then hit her with, 'Oh!! You're the one who got pregnant in 10th grade!' Then, I walked away before she could respond. We graduated almost 30 years ago."
4."I sold her my childhood home. Why? Because we grew up. A family needed a home, and I had one I didn't use."
—Anonymous
5."There was a girl who decided to start a rumor that I asked her to prom, thus making me a 'giant lesbian.' I got spit on, hit, and pushed around, and I eventually dropped out in the 10th grade because of her. One of the girls who instigated the worst of it later tried to friend me on Facebook when I had one. I looked at her profile, and it turns out she has a wife. I never did get an apology."
6."I was bullied a lot. I was very tall, skinny, and awkward. Not a cool look in the early '80s. When I was divorced in my early 30s, I ran into two of the boys who were the worst of the lot. Neither of them had grown taller than about 5'7 and didn't recognize me when they offered me a seat at their table and offered to buy me a drink. I looked at them, smiled, held my hand to the top of my head, and told them, 'You need to be this tall to ride this ride.' I'm 5'9. It was a win for my tall, skinny, awkward 13-year-old self."
7."I was viciously bullied by multiple people through my childhood and teens for all my 'weird traits,' which eventually got diagnosed as autism. Also, I was really tall and, therefore, an easy target. One of my bullies actually became a social worker. I don't know if she's changed, and I don't care. This woman used classic abuser tactics on me, isolating me from my family and friends, telling me nobody would care about me like she did, and taking me on her dates so I could see 'what it looked like to be desired.' She was evil. Now she's a social worker?"
"I served her dad in my store a while ago and didn't realize it was him until he gave me some details for his receipt. He said his daughter was supposed to have come in to help him but couldn't. Once he'd left, I had to hide around the back of the store, throw up, and sob because I was so shaken up. I hadn't spoken to her in 20 years but never recovered."
8."My bully won the lottery and retired early. I'm not kidding. I hope his life was a mess after that, like most lottery winners. Sorry, not sorry."
9."A couple of years ago, I reconnected with a girl I knew in high school, and she invited me to a small holiday get-together with some other people we went to school with. No one there had really bullied me, but they were all aware it was happening at the time and were close with the girls who were really leading it. It came up that high school was a bit rough for me, but the conversation quickly moved on, and we had a nice night. The next day, the girl who invited me texted to thank me for coming and apologized for not being a better ally in high school."
"She'd known what people were saying about me, and even though she wasn't the problem (she was always very lovely and friendly and still is), she felt bad and wished she'd done something more to support me back then. It was an unnecessary apology. I never blamed her and had processed and moved on from the rest long ago, but it was still very kind of her to say, and it made me feel nice."
10."My bully is a nurse in the NICU at our local children's hospital. I had a baby in February who had to spend a week in the NICU. I was TERRIFIED that I would see her and she would be the nurse to my baby. I seriously wouldn't have put it past her to neglect my baby over her hatred for me. I spoke to my husband and mother about it when I went into labor, knowing (because my baby was coming early) that she would end up in the NICU, and I wanted to know if I had the right to ask for a new nurse. They both told me not to be dramatic and get over it because a nurse couldn't be so cruel. Little do they know ALL the things she did to me over many years."
"Luckily, I did not have to see her face once. I don't know if she doesn't work there anymore, was on vacation, or just saw my name and knew it would be a bad scene. Regardless, I breathe a HUGE sigh of relief whenever I remember my baby being discharged from the NICU!"
11."I was bullied/ostracized by a group of five boys when I was 15 years old and in the 10th grade. There was never any physical violence, however. The ringleader of the group was very scarred by his parents' very acrimonious divorce when we were both 14. He was jealous of kids like me who lived in loving and stable homes. At some point, he started using drugs to cope with the difficulties he had dealing with his parents' divorce. He resorted to burglary to help fund his drug habit and was sentenced to prison multiple times. As far as I know, he is still in prison in his senior years, although it's possible that he was released at some point."
"Bottom line: His parents' divorce basically ruined his life. I had no experience with divorce and didn't understand what he was going through. Looking back on this experience, if I had better understood it, maybe I could have done something to support him, and the bullying wouldn't have occurred."
12."My high school bully wasn't a bully in the traditional sense, but she was a compulsive liar who had our school administrators wrapped around her little finger and would make up these grandiose stories about how we (her classmates) had wronged her in an attempt to get us into trouble. She targeted me because I had been nice to her when she transferred into the district midway through eighth grade. She harassed me (and many others) over text and via social media as well. Everyone knew she was a pathological liar, but it didn't matter because the principal and deans believed her. The only time I got sent to the principal's office in all my years attending school in this district was because of her alleging that I was 'bullying her' in 11th grade. Last year (six years after graduating high school), I met a guy who grew up a few towns away from me and attended the same state college as her. He had even been roommates with her -ex-boyfriend."
"I told him that the summer between first and second year of college, she came back to our hometown and told everyone that she had a boyfriend, but of course, nobody believed her because you couldn't believe a word she said, and that I was shocked to hear that that was actually true. His response was, 'That actually explains so much.' From what he told me, she hadn't changed much. At college, she was always in other people's business, always had to be the center of attention, and blackmailed several people (including the guy I met). Last I heard, she moved out to the Pacific Northwest (from the Northeast), and even though it's been seven years since I last saw or interacted with her, I still have her blocked on every platform in case she still wants to harass me."
13."She was a friend who turned into a bully. After graduating high school, we went our separate ways, and I haven't reconnected even though she's in the area and runs into members of my family and friends occasionally. I think she's had a chance to mature since then, as she went to college and was exposed to more than just the strict family she grew up with. She does children's book illustrations now and recently got married. I know that at least some of the bullying was in response to stress at home, especially because her mom was going through some pretty serious medical stuff at the time. I hope she's doing well, but I won't contact her. The things she did and said affected me for a long time, and I still have trouble trusting friends to be friends."
14."One of my worst ones is now a judge in Texas. I shudder to think about it."
15."One of the boys who made it his life goal to bully me came from a nice upper-class family, but he was totally low-class. In sixth grade, we had a class swim party, and he convinced all of the kids that I'd poison the pool and that I wasn't wanted there. I spent the rest of the party in the house, waiting until the end for my mom to come get me. I never told my parents about it. By the time we got to high school, he'd dropped off of the social map. I just found out that the bully died last year. He spent his entire adult life as a stoner, jumping from odd job to odd job. He had lots of chronic health problems related to his lifestyle choices. He lived in an old traveler trailer on his cousin's farm."
—Anonymous
16."I was a huge nerd and was bullied by a few girls in elementary school. A few years ago, one of them, out of the blue, messaged me to apologize and told me that she was just really jealous. I didn't realize, but I was reading way ahead of my grade level, and she revealed that she was essentially illiterate at that point and was miserable. I hadn't thought about her in a decade, but she said it bothered her, and I appreciated it!"
17."For four years, every day in high school, this guy relentlessly verbally bullied me. I pretended not to hear him. Fast forward 50 years when I walked into our 50th high school reunion. There he was. He followed me everywhere, and every time he spoke, I said something like, 'You were awful to me in high school.' I couldn't get away from him. Everywhere I went, there he was right at my side. Finally, the event was over, and we were leaving, and once again, he was right there. I said, 'You were awful,' again, and to my surprise, he said, 'I'm sorry.' I was able to say, 'I forgive you.' This was the best part of the reunion!"
—Anonymous
18."I was bullied by a lot of kids in elementary school because I was small and quiet. One girl and her mother bullied me. Her mom was the Girl Scout leader. They were social-climbing snobs and even made fun of my mom's accent. They excluded me from activities. She approached me at our 40th class reunion and acted like I was her long-lost best friend. She was getting over cancer, which I wouldn't wish on anyone. We talked for a while, but I was pretty puzzled. Maybe her brush with death made her think about her choices. At earlier reunions, I just got the stink eye from her. Her besties, who were also bullies, also acted all sweet with me. I guess success is the best revenge because they were all surprised at how well I turned out. They're all doing fine, which is great. Sounds like they grew up. They were just following the lead of their snobby, social-climbing moms."
—Anonymous
19."One was a guy who, for some weird reason, used to tease me relentlessly when we were in elementary and middle school. I have no idea why. He's now in prison for murdering someone. He became homeless, lived in an encampment, and got into it one night with some other guy and killed him. Another one was this awful girl from high school who, I swear, inspired Mean Girls. At some point, she was in an accident and is now paralyzed from the waist down, in a wheelchair, and lives alone in government housing. You'd think that would humble someone, but no. Her Facebook is still super rude, so I guess she hasn't changed."
"Finally, just based on my own experiences as a parent, I'm pretty sure most bullies grow up and end up being parent bullies in the PTA. I quit doing volunteer work at the schools because I am too old to deal with people who peaked in high school and are still doing the same crap."
20."I'm on good speaking terms now with one of mine now. She was also the only one at my 10-year reunion that gave condolences for my dad's passing. Ironically enough, though, she recently made a post about how her daughter is being bullied in school, and she just can't believe people would be so cruel. I kept my mouth shut."
21."One of my main bullies is now in the Army and posts pictures of himself with guns all too frequently."
22."She was so cruel to me for years in high school. From the first day we met, she called me names and told horrible stories about me. She was absolutely awful! Especially about my weight because she was thin and popular, and I was the chunky nerd. Fast forward 25 years. I took a job as a teacher, and unbeknownst to me, she worked as an administrator in the gifted/talented department at the same school. We didn't interact much; she had gotten married, so she changed names and also looked very different. She knew it was me for over a year but never said a word until, one day, I realized who she was."
"I still marvel at the fact that she bullied me relentlessly as a kid and then acted like we were strangers when she knew exactly who I was."
—Anonymous
23."He's a real estate agent in our area. I looked at his reviews, and they're all written by his friends from high school."
24."I had one 'friend' bully me for my sexuality. She is now a mental health nurse."
25."My bully and I ran into each other at an AA meeting that set all animosity aside. We are very close now."
26."We wound up becoming friends online. She had dropped out of school and gotten her GED. She's raising a child with her partner and has felt genuine remorse for middle school."
—Anonymous
27.And: "Nothing special happened to mine. As far as I know, they continued living in my hometown, got married, and had kids like most people did. When they made my life hell, people said, 'Karma will get them back one day. They'll end up sad and alone,' but it doesn't always work like that. Sometimes, they end up happy and fulfilled. But I don't begrudge them that. I hope they grew up emotionally and realized that being cruel wasn't conducive to happiness."
Dang. Well, there ya have it. What happened to your childhood bully after you grew up? Tell us in the comments or submit anonymously using this form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
