16 Of The Juciest Thanksgiving Mishaps, Arguments, And Scandals People Have Had The Displeasure Of Experiencing
BuzzFeed
7 min read
If you celebrate Thanksgiving with a big family, you probably have a story or two to tell. You know what I mean — that time your recently divorced aunt Susan brought her new boyfriend and your grandmother just happened to forget to mention that she also invited Susan's ex-husband. Or that one year when uncle Rob was in charge of the turkey, but he didn't defrost it until the morning of Thanksgiving. And who could forget the Thanksgiving when cousin Rachel accidentally made a dessert that was part English truffle and part shepherd's pie?
A couple of weeks ago, Reddit user u/isalindsay77 asked, "What’s the [wildest] argument that’s happened in your Thanksgiving kitchen?" and last year, Reddit user u/TheInward07 asked, "What was your Thanksgiving drama this year?" People really came through with the responses. Here are some of the stories that are just too wild not to share:
1."My uncle once buried my cranberry tart in the snow after our family preferred my pecan pie to his. He couldn’t risk the same thing with the cranberry. We didn’t figure it out until mid-April when the snow melted."
2."All of the grandkids (toddlers) came over. They ran around the house most of the night in a pack, screaming and causing chaos. Eventually, they made their way to the mantle above the fireplace, where they discovered a box that they just couldn’t resist picking up and opening. The oldest one grabbed handfuls of gray dust out of the box and started throwing it in the air in the living room, yelling, 'It's snowing, Mommy!' Apparently, the kids found the ashes of our aunt’s old cat, and they couldn't help but spread the love."
3."My 21-year-old sister was about to graduate from college in less than a month. My brother [jokingly] congratulated her on being the first person in our family to graduate college without getting pregnant. It turned out she was pregnant."
4."The damn French Silk pie. My husband’s grandmother used to make it every year, and when she died, I took over making it. French Silk is a giant pain in the ass to make. But all I heard was, 'Oh, yours isn't as good.' So I didn’t make it the next year, and a wild level of pie-related passive-aggressive nonsense took over Thanksgiving, to the extent that we left early. It turns out that my husband's grandmother never made even made the pie from scratch — it was just chocolate pudding in a store-bought pie shell."
5."We were doing a combined Thanksgiving/Christmas celebration because my parents were traveling over Christmas. My mom was upstairs for a really long time wrapping presents and refused any help, so I thought maybe she was upset about something. I caught my stepdad just standing and staring at the turkey after it was done cooking, like he didn't know what to do with it. I asked if he wanted help carving it, and he handed over the knife. My parents later admitted that they had taken edibles before everyone came over."
6."We usually pray before we eat the food. We were in the middle of praying when I looked up to see that my dog had jumped on the table, grabbed a whole stick of butter, and was on his way out the doggy door with the butter in his mouth. Animal lovers, always remember to keep your chairs pushed in!"
7."My 12-year-old cousin wouldn’t eat any of the food that my grandma spent the whole day making because it 'wasn’t Brazilian.' His parents are Italian, and we do not have any Brazilian relatives. I don’t even think he’s had Brazilian food before."
8."We found out that my brother is not the biological father of his 23-year-old son."
9."My son had been fussy all day, and I finally got him to settle down for a nap when we got there. I didn’t want to wake him up, so my mother-in-law locked herself in her room because I wouldn’t let her hold her grandson."
10."Both my sister and I thought the other was cooking the turkey. I made a roasted squash soup, turkey stock, cranberry sauce, and persimmon pudding. My sister and brother-in-law arrived with pumpkin pie and salad. I asked her where the turkey was, and she thought I was joking. We ended up being full, having eaten all the sides, but I seriously craved a leftover turkey sandwich."
11."My entire extended family is made up of people who love to cook. Without fail, there is always an argument about who gets to host and an absolute brawl over who gets to cook what. We don't stick to traditional turkey/sides most years, so everyone usually has at least one dish that they'd like to try. My cousin was once told he could only bring one dish after he proposed about two starches, two veggie sides, and something else. His one dish ended up being a roast suckling pig, as apparently nobody explicitly specified it had to be a SIDE dish. Needless to say, we had leftovers."
12."I was showing off my brand new telescope when my cousin announced that they were a flat-earther."
13."A large mixing bowl full of yams disappeared into nothing while everyone was trying to get food on the table. We looked absolutely everywhere and it was just gone. There are lots of things that could have happened to the yams themselves, but the bowl being missing is a real head-scratcher."
14."My mom, who usually cooks, had to work on Thanksgiving. My sister, my girlfriend, and I all scrambled in the kitchen for hours to make a nice meal and have a plate for my mom when she got home. Well, I used gloves to clean the turkey before dressing it and putting it in to roast. It roasted for over an hour and was basted twice before I realized that one of the gloves I was wearing had gotten stuck to the side of the turkey. It was all melty and gooey and attached to the wing and the wall of the roaster. We ended up sacrificing the entire wing and getting most of the glove off the wall of the roaster. My mom said it was the best turkey ever."
15."My mom was in charge of cooking the turkey, and she put it in for way less time than it should have needed based on the weight. When we want to carve it, it was clearly not done. I always travel with a meat thermometer if I’m going somewhere where I might be cooking, so I got it out to check the turkey. This was apparently a personal affront and some kind of unacceptable sorcery, and I had clearly gotten it out to demonstrate that my mom was an awful cook. There wasn’t an argument per se, but my mom was visibly upset that we were using the thermometer."
16.And finally: "I can’t remember what the actual argument between my mom and stepdad was about, but my mom ended up throwing the ENTIRE turkey in the trash."
Note: Entries have been edited for length and/or clarity.