"The Relationship Didn't Last": 18 Times People Met Their Partner's Family And Realized They Were Walking Red Flags
Meeting the family is a big step that can make or break a relationship. Unfortunately, things don't always go swimmingly, and not everyone may get along. Even worse, it may reveal a major red flag about your partner. Recently, we asked the BuzzFeed Community to share their wild, bizarre, and frustrating experiences with meeting a partner's family for the first time, and boy, did they deliver. Here are their stories.
1."His mom and sister were fine, but his dad was so creepy! He gave off a lot of gross old man vibes, but my ex always talked about how he was the best, how he wanted to be just like him as a dad, etc. The evening after I had arrived, I walked to their kitchen in the middle of the night to get water, and I realized his dad was in the living room, watching porn at full volume. Thankfully, I didn't turn the corner and see anything — but ICK! I have no idea where my ex ever got the idea his dad was a good person because he is a flaming dumpster fire of a man-child who has no relationship with any of his kids. The last time I saw the guy was at my daughter's first birthday party, where I had to tell him it was NOT okay to get drunk at 9 a.m. because he was mad that his motel made him plunge the toilet in his room that he clogged."
2."Walked into his family home and met his parents, who were sitting on the couch watching TV in their underwear. I didn't yet know they were naturalists (they had a trailer at a nudist park and everything). I was lucky they were wearing as much as they were the first time we met!"
—Michelle, 42, Canada
3."My now-husband of 30 years warned me the first time I went to his mother's to meet her that she was 'eccentric.' Almost immediately after we showed up at her house, she began talking nonstop about his ex-girlfriend and how much she liked her, showing me pictures of her throughout the house. Then, she kept telling him about her friend's daughter she wanted him to meet. It was a warning of things to come, including her continuing to 'accidentally' call me by his ex-girlfriend's name after we were married and I was pregnant. I stood up to her on many occasions, and we had many years of an on/off relationship. We eventually went no-contact due to her toxic nature. His warning wasn't wrong."
—Anonymous, 53, California
4."My ex-boyfriend's parents were creationists and extraordinarily judgmental and gullible (shocking, I know). One of the first times I went to their house, my ex's dad informed me that Obama was the anti-Christ (this was around 2007-ish) seemingly out of the blue, and then proceeded to tell me about the 'Well to Hell.' Smart people know this is an urban legend, but his parents fully believed that a hole had been drilled far enough to hear the screams of those burning in hell. The 'screams' ended up being audio from a 1970s horror movie. Fortunately, my ex knew they were batshit, but it still didn't make family gatherings any easier. His parents ended up moving to Florida, lol."
5."It wasn't the first time I met my husband's family, but it was certainly the first time I had ever had dinner at his parents' home and likely the second time meeting them. I was super nervous since it was my first time with the entire family (mom, dad, and three younger siblings). Plus, dinner at the parents' house is more intimate than eating at a restaurant. Anyway, I found out that his family doesn't talk during dinner, and the silence is almost deafening. My family ALWAYS converses during dinner, and while normally I'm perfectly fine with silence, the silence of seven people eating around a table was too much for me to bear."
"So, to break the silence, I asked if anyone had any funny stories about my husband as a kid. I figured there should be plenty of fun stories, and everyone could chime in.
Boy, was I wrong! My then-future mother-in-law proceeded to tell the story of how sibling number two (the third child) wasn't planned. She got pregnant very shortly after giving birth to child number two (children numbers two and three are approximately one year apart), and they were not financially in a position to have a third child, so they seriously considered aborting that baby.
They did not end up aborting child number three, but that's when all the siblings (including the third child) learned this story — an obviously NOT FUNNY story."
—Anonymous
6."The first time I met my mother-in-law, she gave me many major red flags. She told me that she wanted her son to get together with one of his friends from college, had names picked out for her future grandchildren (my husband is an only child), and if we got married and got divorced, she would still be friendly with me as long as I didn't keep him from the kids. To say I was shocked by almost everything she said to me, all when her son was out of earshot, is an understatement. I had many serious conversations with my then-boyfriend about boundaries and what I did not want in life (children). It has been a journey with many exercises in boundary management with my MIL, but my now-husband and I have been together for 13 years, married for nine, and are happily child-free by choice."
—Anonymous, 36, Georgia
7."I was taken aback meeting my boyfriend's sister for the first time. She is 10 years older but tiny, and she immediately jumped on his back and started grooming him. I kid you not — like, going through his hair looking for flakes of dandruff and popping back-ne zits. They had really absent parents and basically raised each other. It was, and is still, the most bizarre thing I have ever seen. We have been married 15 years, and I still avoid them together!"
—Anonymous, 40, Texas
8."Oh boy. I met the family of an ex about five years ago. I really cared for this guy and he was always speaking so highly of his family, particularly his dad and two sisters. The oldest sister was nice enough. His youngest sister was struggling with addiction and had recently moved in with the eldest sister. She had colorful hair, tattoos, and piercings. She was going through a divorce and having a rough time, so experimenting with her looks was helping her confidence. They all talked shit about how much time and effort she put into her appearance right in front of me."
"Anyway, their dad unexpectedly showed up, and his sister ranted about how their father was unaccepting of her, mostly due to her appearance. She refused to see him while he was there, saying he judges her harshly.
I started majorly panicking because I'm very alternative in appearance, so I was worried they'd dislike me, too. I was also angry at my ex because he had never mentioned this. His dad refused to talk to me, made it super awkward, and left.
No one asked me anything about myself, so even making small talk was very tense and hard. Later on, his sister dropped some family lore about how she used to sit on my ex's lap when he used the bathroom, and they all laughed as if this was totally normal. We broke up maybe a week later."
9."I dated this guy briefly when my now-husband and I were on a break. We went on a road trip to visit his family, and it was weird from the get-go. All the surfaces were wrapped in plastic: bathroom and kitchen counters, tables, remote controls, and the cordless phone. It was apparently to keep things clean, but under the plastic was all manner of horrible crap, from crumbs to wet food stains. His mother also took the opportunity to write Alcoholics Anonymous quotes on his birthday card (he wasn't a person with alcoholism; his dad was) to remind him not to be overly optimistic."
"They asked about my parents, and when I told them about my mom's promotion to nurse manager and how proud I was of her, all they talked about was how sad it was to take a good nurse off the floor.
There was so much more that threw me off (e.g., his weird brother and his insisting we use part of our vacation to babysit a friend's brisket). I'm still shocked I didn't end it when we got home."
—Anonymous, 40, Canada
10.We traveled by train to meet his parents. On the surface, they seemed nice and welcoming. I was only 17 years old at the time. After arriving at their home, I learned I was sleeping in the same bed as his mother! Undressing in front of her that night was awkward and unnerving. On reflection, I guess it wasn't really so bad as we will celebrate our 65th wedding anniversary next month.
11."I was dating one guy for seven years. The relationship was long-distance, but we were doing REALLY well; everything was fun and amazing! He lived in Ohio, and I lived in Florida, so it wasn't easy trying to visit the other. However, I was finally able to visit his home six years into our relationship. He mentioned over our call that he was cleaning the house, and everything would look super nice! I was excited and couldn't wait to see the home where he pretty much grew up (he still lives with his family because he's a full-time college student). From the outside, the house looked quite beautiful and had an amazing view of the Ohio River from the porch. Inside the house was a totally different ballgame..."
"Everything disgusting you could possibly think of happened in that house. His dad was far too comfortable and often walked around the house with just a white tank top and his boxers (his stepmom was the same).
The kitchen was literally buzzing with all sorts of life, and the sink was stacked with dishes that had crusted over and were caked with mold. There was never a safe spot in that house.
There were bugs everywhere. I remember watching my ex open up the dishwasher to get me a fork, and all I saw were cockroaches and other various bugs scurrying to hide away from the light. The fly trap was clearly doing its job, but it desperately needed to be changed out, and the smell of dog urine and feces was overwhelming.
In the room I slept in, which was also his baby brother's room, there was a trash can dedicated to the baby brother's used diapers. To no surprise, at this point, the trash can was overflowing with disgusting diapers.
The worst part about all of this is that the family truly believed there was nothing wrong with this lifestyle. There was hardly any cleaning of any kind that would go on, and my ex made no effort to try and change his own behaviors as well."
—Anonymous, 20, Florida
12."He was a first-generation college attendee. The first time I met his dad, he asked me why I thought a woman needed a BA, let alone an MA. Apparently, my ex-boyfriend had told his parents out of pride for me, and it really offended his dad. He kept going on and on about how UNNECESSARY it was for people to go to college, and for women, it's just a waste. We had our place and should stick to it. It was so jarring to me since my family has always valued education for all."
—Dani, 34, Utah
13."This was back in the '80s in a small town in North Carolina. A boy across the street from my best friend and I began seeing each other. One autumn evening, I visited his house for the first time — it was the start of 'dove season.' We walked into the kitchen, and his mother, father, grandmother, and grandfather were sitting around the kitchen table next to a two-foot pile of dead doves, PLUCKING them! 'It's easy,' they explained, 'Just pop its breast outward and rip the feathers upward.' I declined to participate."
14."When meeting my ex-boyfriend's family for the first time, his dad couldn't stop talking about the unedited 'Blurred Lines' music video the entire dinner. To end the night, he played it in their movie theater, talking about nipple size and color the entire time. My ex didn't think it was weird, and neither did his mother. When I left, my at the time boyfriend told me his dad could tell I 'didn't have big old pepperonis' like it was some sort of compliment. The relationship didn't last, but that memory sure has."
—Anonymous, 33, Florida
15."The state of their home. They had (and continue to have) birds and dogs that pee and poop throughout the house with little to no effort made to clean it up properly. Our first Thanksgiving celebrated together, one bird perched on the back of a chair at the table and proceeded to poop throughout the meal. One fleck of waste landed on the tablecloth. His stepfather wiped it up with a napkin and put the crumpled-up, poop-encrusted napkin on the table next to the pies we'd brought (and hello, my dinner plate!). I was a good sport about it for years, but man, am I glad to be away from that now that we're divorced."
—Anonymous
16."His mother was an actual Nazi sympathizer. She was from Germany but living in Florida. When we got into her car at the airport, she had a MAGA rally playing on the radio and proudly spoke about her hatred of minority races. Over the next week of our visit, she repeatedly spewed the most hateful, vile rhetoric I have ever heard come out of anyone's mouth. After our trip, I found out his grandfather was a real Nazi in WWII, and his mother left Germany in the '80s because she didn't feel like she was allowed the freedom to express her true self. Needless to say, the relationship didn't last much longer after that. He was also a severe mama's boy in the worst kind of way."
—Anonymous, 42, Colorado
17."The first time I met my soon-to-be ex-husband's dad, he asked me about my job (I was a struggling actress in New York City waiting tables and tending bar to pay bills), and he commented that waiting tables must be tough because some people don't tip. I said, 'The major struggle, working in a restaurant in the theatre district, is we get a lot of tourists who don't realize tipping is a thing.' I wasn't complaining; I was just answering his question."
"He snapped back with, 'Well then, maybe you should get a REAL job, huh?' This was while we were literally out AT A RESTAURANT, being waited on by a waiter.
The second time I met him, he surprised everyone by telling us that instead of having lunch together, we were moving his father-in-law into a nursing home against his FIL's wishes. My grandfather-in-law was an angel of a man that my father-in-law despised for reasons he could never explain or put into words.
—Anonymous
18."My now-husband took me to meet his parents when we had been dating for about two months. We got in late, and my boyfriend at the time went to say hi to his dad, who was in bed after minor surgery (seriously, why did we think this was a good time to visit?!). His mom and I were sitting across from each other in the living room, and her first question was, 'So, have you found Jesus?' (We are not religious). Followed quickly by a second question: 'Are you and my son having sex?' (We were). Miraculously, we are still married 17 years later. His parent live on a different continent."
—Anonymous, 39, Colorado
Did you have a wild WTF moment when meeting a partner's family for the first time? Tell us about it in the comments or fill out this anonymous form.