When Politeness Is Problematic
Every week, Oprah is setting an intention exclusively for Oprah Insiders, with reflections on topics like letting go, forgiveness, coming into your own, and more. Visit the page with this week’s video on spring-cleaning your spirit every day this week for a new dose of inspiration.
Think about the people you surround yourself with. Do they uplift you or drain your energy? If it’s the latter, you may need to rethink some of your relationships. Here, Gayle King talks about the importance of keeping toxic people out of your life.
“Nobody wants negativity or toxicity in their life—and if you have people around you who bring that, you need to do some spring-cleaning. Thankfully, I am good at keeping those people out of my life.
I don’t have people in my life who drain my energy—I just have no tolerance for it. I have always been a glass-half-full type of person. I am just not a negative person and have always been a people person. Maybe the saying ‘Birds of a feather flock together’ is true, because the people in my life also tend to be positive and kind.
There was a recent survey that found that 90 percent of people say they have a coworker who does something that irritates them. I was talking about it on my radio show and a guy called in to say that he has a person he works with who is a Negative Nancy—that all she wants to do is talk badly about other people. He told me he finds it so draining.
When I asked him why he engaged with her, he said he didn’t know. I think people want to be nice or don’t know how to stop someone who is being toxic. But I refuse to indulge people like that. I understand wanting to be polite, but you can’t be nice and polite at your own expense. You must protect your energy.”
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