Readers offer wise words for finding peace with loss of brother 12 years after his stroke

QUINCY ? A heartfelt thank you to readers who responded to last week's column about the loss of my brother, Steve Scheible, who survived for 12 years after he had a massive stroke at age 70 and died on June 15 at age 82.

In reaching out with words of comfort and wisdom, you provided new ways of looking at both my own situation and life in general.

I know I sometimes feel at a loss for words when others have a personal crisis. I want to share some of your helpful responses.

'I too am a Stroke Warrior'

"I too am a Stroke Warrior. December 16, 2009. I was only 47 years old. I was med flighted from Plymouth. Spent 3 weeks at Beth Israel (Medical Center) in Boston, then Spaulding (Rehabilitation Hospital) in Sandwich, Life Care Center of Plymouth and Sunrise Assisted Living in Plymouth. Five months. Hemorrhagic stroke. Being 47 I think helped me. Like your brother, I was with people (work) when it hit me. 12 years! He was a true Stroke Warrior."

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"Your brother seemed like an amazing brother and man. I too have a brother that I am extremely close to. He lives in another state, but we talk daily, sometimes several times. I hope your memories will help keep a part of him alive."

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"How wonderful you had these 12 years with your brother. Allowing our emotions to flow is important and necessary, and yet through it all, we must also learn to let go."

'Hold on to those happy shared experiences'

"In the face of such a devastating medical episode, it sounds like Steve did his very best to adapt and keep going, supported by loving family members like you and wonderful professional caregivers. I hope your memories of his kindness and many happy shared experiences bring you comfort at this sad time."

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"I remember Steve, how sweet he was, very quiet.  I would always try to engage him in conversation, thinking that he must feel lonely.  We had some great conversations. I'm very close to my brother, and would do anything for him as well."

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"The photos of Steve during his early years of recovery were inspirational to all who may someday be in similar positions of choosing life-determining decisions. Living through those 12 years took tremendous courage."

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"Your brother endured so much in the last 12 years and yet seemed to have a strong spirit and the will to help himself. He was fortunate to have you in his journey, to comfort and support him. I hope the memories of his better days and your closeness will ease the pain of his loss. I can understand the love between sister and brother."

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"Clearly he was a fighter who enjoyed life, even after the restrictions that came about due to his stroke. It’s always so hard to lose our friends and loved ones. I hope that, over time, you are better able to honor his memory by holding onto the joys of his life ? small and large."

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"So true about the loss of connection to our past. Felt that way with my sister's passing."

'We could all use Steve's 'Equanimity' sign'

"What a determined soul he was to get through what he had to get through in these past 12 years. Luckily he had you! Wishing you gentle healing. And I know you will treasure all those good memories.  We all could use Steve's 'Equanimity' sign!"

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"Steve’s story is sure to inspire others who support and care for their loved ones. The photos give a sense that all is not lost after a disastrous health crisis."

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"None of us can ever know how we would deal with challenges like Steve faced, but I know it made me think a lot about how quickly life can change and how important it is to be surrounded by quality, caring people (family and professionals) that help us 'do the best we can.'"

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"May your brother’s memory be a blessing to his family and friends."

Reach Sue Scheible at [email protected].

This article originally appeared on The Patriot Ledger: 'Stroke Warrior' Steve Scheible dies. Wisdom from readers appreciated