"These Are Red Flags": People Are Sharing "Dead Giveaways" That Someone Isn't Actually A Good Person
Sometimes we meet a person and have a weird gut feeling that they're not as good as they appear to be.
NBC / Via giphy.com
And even though no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes (heck — we're human, after all), there are a few indicators — whether it's a habit or a personality trait — that can indicate a person may have not-so-great intentions.
So when I saw that user u/ricky1g asked the Reddit community, "What's a dead giveaway that someone is not a good person?" I thought it would be helpful to share some of the responses below.
1."Nothing is ever their fault."
"My borderline narcissistic mom used to accuse me of this when I was a kid. She was consistently the one never taking any blame for anything, but when I'd call her out on it, this would be her retort, projecting her 'Nothing's ever my fault' behavior onto me.
"As a kid, you're simply not capable of figuring out how to counter that. This shit fucked with me sooooo badly."
2."When they cannot bring themselves to celebrate someone else’s success."
"I had a friend like this. She was nice and seemed to like me. Took me quite some time to figure out the odd thing that was missing in our relationship: She couldn't be happy for me. Not even a little 'Yeah, good for you!' or something like that. Just radio silence. We split ways."
3."A subtle one is how they treat you differently in public vs. how they treat you privately. These can both go either way."
4."It's always about them. They're always the hero or always the victim in their stories. They can't take criticism, but they probably dish it out to everyone else."
5."They never apologize."
"Or their apology is them just listing problems about other people. The classic, 'I'm sorry that you have a problem with my actions' instead of, 'I'm sorry I did something wrong.'"
6."They don't put the shopping cart back in the corral once they're done with it."
7."They remember you are their friend only when they need something from you."
"I had a friend like that in high school. Would only ever hit me up when he needed a ride. I said no like two times and stopped reaching out to him ever, and the problem solved itself...I didn't need to cut him off. He stopped being a friend when I stopped being a pushover."
8."Thinking that their own convenience is more important than others' inconvenience."
9."Thinking that you always do stuff just to piss them off. When I was little and in school, I tripped on the floor because it was wet (an asshole didn't put up the 'Wet Floor' sign), and I fell in a way that my frontal teeth were destroyed. My mom to this day still believes I did it on purpose just to make her angry."
10."They brag about how they pulled a fast one on other people. As if to say how smart/slick they are and everyone else is stupid."
"A former friend was a habitual liar. I thought he had a mental disorder or something because of it. Or he thought he needed to impress me with his lies so we could be friends. Then one day he told me he’s such a good liar and he’s gotten so many things in life because he lies.
"He instantly got cut off. No contact for a year until I saw him recently at a mutual friend's party. And still barely gave him the time of day. He was always using me. Good riddance."
11."I’ve always held that if someone gossips TO you, then they’ll most surely gossip ABOUT you to others. Also, if someone tells you something that they were told in confidence, then you absolutely cannot trust them to keep anything you tell them to themselves, even if asked to. Big red flags."
12."Treating people well only if they can benefit from them in some way. If they treat you well but also treat random people like shit, they aren't good people. And they'll treat you like shit too if you ever stop being of use to them."
13."They constantly say or do things where their only justification for doing so is 'It was just a joke' when called out for it."
14."A lot of times, they’ll straight-up tell you. Anybody who gleefully tells you 'I’m such an asshole' or 'I’m such a bitch' is usually not joking, even if they say it while laughing."
15."How someone treats another person based on their job title. Anyone who treats a server, housekeeper, garbage/sanitation worker, etc., like crap is just telling the world how much of a piece they are."
16."When you express a boundary, they try to guilt-trip you, pressure you, or threaten you to try and force you to do things you don’t want to do."
17."A complete lack of compassion, unless it's about themselves. Putting people down for fun. Even if you're going through something difficult, suddenly they've been through the same thing, but worse. Even when they're being 'generous,' it's for public display and not from a genuine place. Sulking and throwing fits to get their way. Yes, I am thinking of a specific person."
18."They treat animals poorly."
19."Littering or throwing trash out of a car window."
20."They always need to be vocal about their opinion, even if it's not nice. My parents are always saying nasty stuff to people. For instance, if we go to a restaurant and the waiter is slow, they will say something like, 'What awful service' or 'Couldn't get anyone slower' or stuff like that, and they don't even care if they are being heard or not. It's just an embarrassment to go with them outside."
21."Never taking accountability for anything."
22."Someone who yells at you for crying."
"Or, in a milder way, they tell you to 'stop complaining' when you vent to them, but expect you to listen to their venting when they do."
23."People who are always trying to manipulate a situation, from the smallest things to the bigger issues. It is exhausting to be around them."
24."They are willing to gaslight you. I have memory problems due to MS, and when someone is willing to bend your reality, there is a huge moral issue happening."
25."Actions and words not matching."
26."They make fun of someone with a disability."
27."A very subtle one is if they walk on wet floors in front of the cleaning person without apologizing."
28."People who constantly judge others for the minor flaws in their character. Some people have very low self-esteem, some people have ADHD, and some people are trying to unlearn toxic traits that they were brought up with. Nobody is perfect, and it’s never so black-and-white. If you instantly write someone off as a bad person because they cut you off while you’re talking, then you’re going to be in for a shock, because most adult human beings have flaws in their character. With a bit of patience and open-mindedness, you can overlook these and maybe find some amazing qualities."
"That woman in the office whom you can’t stand because she seems rude when you talk to her might just have crippling social anxiety, and talking to you might just make her feel as if she’s being dragged through the glass. You think she’s a bitch, but behind closed doors, she struggles to leave the house every day. It's not always that obvious."
Do you believe there's something a person does that indicates they are not a good person? If so, tell us what it is and why in the comments below.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.