A Reddit Post About a Fiance's Status as an Adoptee Goes Viral Over in-Laws' Response: What Was Said

Adoption is a great alternative for those who can’t have children. It’s important to tell the child or children they were adopted, but it’s not necessarily something the child must share with others later in life. This is exactly the case for a man who didn’t feel the need to disclose his adoption status to his fiancée’s family — until they found out from someone else and became immediately upset. Ultimately, he took to Reddit to seek support and share why he felt they didn’t need to know. Keep reading to see what was said in the Reddit thread and whose take comes out on top. 

Inside the viral Reddit thread about a man’s adoption status and his in-laws’ response 

In a Reddit post from September 13, a 27-year-old man — who was adopted as an infant — looked for support from others after he shared that his fiancée’s family was angry with him for not disclosing his adoption status sooner.  

 His parents never hid his adoption from him, but it wasn’t something he ever talked about, except for a few times when he was younger and people would ask questions about his biological or “real” parents. He and his family moved when he was 8 and from there, he referred to  his adopted parents as if they were his biological parents. 

In terms of telling others, “I told my fiancée when we started dating but apart from her and some very close friends, I never talk about it with people,” he wrote in the post. “To me it's not something that anyone else needs to know. This includes my fiancée's family.” 

How did his fiancée’s family find out? 

The Redditor shared that his adoption status was accidentally revealed while his fiancée’s family was visiting. “I got a knock on the door from a PI who informed me my biological parents were interested in contact with me and they overheard,” he wrote. 

 His in-laws had a lot of questions and were angry with him for not telling them about this aspect of his life.  

After his adoption status came out, his fiancée’s family was angry for two reasons. The first was that he didn’t tell them. “They did not like ‘being kept in the dark’ and did not like my fiancée's response that it wasn't any of their business,” he shared in the thread. 

Her family also didn’t like his decision to decline contact with his biological family. He told the PI he wasn’t interested in connecting with them and to pass that along to his biological parents.  “My fiancée's family had the very reaction I try to avoid from people, and they asked how I could turn down the chance to know my ‘real family.’”  

Their main issue was that they found out from someone else other than him. They also claimed it could affect future grandchildren. But his fiancée stood up for him, claimed it was none of their business and encouraged them to drop the issue.  

Redditors side with the adoptee and comment on boundaries with in-laws

Later in the thread, the adoptee added more context saying he’s joining their family, and they might feel like he “didn’t trust or respect them enough to say.” Overall, other users in the thread took his side and believed that he didn’t have to share the adoption information. 

One person wrote, “Your fiancée is right that it's none of her parents' business. Not one bit of it is their business, through and including any information about possible future grandchildren. NTA. I'm glad your fiancée has your back because you're 100 percent in the right here.” 

Another user agreed and said to share the information with whomever you decide and “the ILs are not entitled to it, and it shouldn't make a hoot of difference whether or not you're adopted.” 

Many other Redditors sided with the adoptee and were glad to see his fiancée sticking up for him as well. When it comes to adoption, the parents need to share information, but the person who was adopted can share as little or as much as they’d like with the people in their life. 

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