Reddit Thanksgiving Stories That Squash the Seasonal Spirit
For many, Thanksgiving is a truly joyful holiday spent with loved ones, eating delectable harvest dishes, watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade followed by an afternoon of football, and giving thanks for all there is to be grateful for. But for many others, the day is an annual anxiety-inducing occasion in which family feuds are promised, pleasing everyone is impossible, and the hyped-up feast only results in nausea — if it can even be stomached amid the familial turmoil.
For readers who identify with the latter group, this is your reminder that you aren’t alone. Social media, for better or worse, is now a popular means of expressing holiday-related frustrations. Reddit, in particular, is a great place for people to roast their family members with more heat than that dried-out Griswold turkey — you know, the one that basically conveys the misery of the day by releasing a ghastly puff of disappointment, then promptly disintegrating in on itself? It’s all very bah-humbug, but you know what? The truth of the matter is that for a percentage of the population, the holidays just aren’t the warm, love-filled occasion they’re touted to be … and that deserves some attention, too.
So, if you’re in the group that simply tries to make the best of your dismal Thanksgiving gathering, we’ve rounded up a few stories that will help you commiserate and feel less alone. Hang in there, try to enjoy that turkey, and make yourself a stiff apple cider cocktail when you finally make it back to the safety of your own home. ‘Tis the season, after all.
A version of this story was published in 2022.
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Pregnancy Accomodations
One pregnant sister-in-law got herself uninvited from Thanksgiving after sending a series of demands in the family group chat. “She wants to come, but her pregnancy means some things ‘need to be adjusted,'” the woman hosting Thanksgiving explained. “Her rules were no poultry as the smell makes her sick, no alcohol as the smell makes her sick and she can’t join in, the food needs to be served early as she needs to nap during the time it’s normally served, and she doesn’t want to play the games as she tires easily so can we just listen to music/talk in the evening instead.”
Umm … if you’re thinking, “That’s a lot to ask,” the woman hosting and Redditors felt the same way.
“I was really upset by this … I’d already ordered the turkey and it seems like a waste,” OP said. “… [I said I] would make sure people don’t drink at the table [but], I wouldn’t ban poultry or alcohol from the house and I certainly wouldn’t be not playing our games.”
“[My brother and SIL] said I was being unreasonable and that she’s pregnant so I need to be more understanding … I told Becky she was uninvited if she can’t accept any compromise whatsoever. James called me separately to say I’m excluding her and ruining their Thanksgiving and she can’t help how she feels during pregnancy. I said I wasn’t excluding her and she’s welcome if she can accept that Thanksgiving has to work for everyone else too.”
The parents-to-be didn’t show up on the Big Day, and though OP was sad, Redditors say she was not the a—hole.
“I am currently pregnant and the smell of alcohol makes me sick too and I am overly tired. Not in a million years would I think that anyone apart from my partner should have to go out of their way to accommodate me. Your solutions to offer an additional alternative and ban alcohol from the table are really reasonable compromises. To ask 9 people to not play a game because she will be tired is wild. She can just go home earlier or watch you guys play.”
“This is so vastly unreasonable,” another added. “People who are pregnant do not get to dictate everyone else’s behavior, only their own surroundings.”
Taking A Stand
Here’s the gist, and we’re sure it will resonate with many: One man is refusing to attend Thanksgiving after he and his husband are always being stuck with dish duty.
“I told [my family] I wasn’t [coming to Thanksgiving this year],” OP said. “They offered to pay for our flights and I still said I couldn’t make it. Made up an excuse. But really it’s the dishes. Again, [my husband and I] don’t mind doing them, just sick of being the only people expected to help out while everyone else is socialize and hang in the hot tub.”
One of OP’s brothers is on his side and the other thinks it’s a stupid reason to skip out on the holiday. As for Redditors? They’re voting “not the a—hole.”
“Shame on your siblings for not offering to help. It’s fine to help out every once in a while but for you guys to be the cleanup squad each time? Not cool and y’all are being taken advantage,” one person said.
“Whether or not YOU ever go again, the brother who said your reason was ‘stupid’ should immediately and forever put himself on Clean Up Detail,” another added.
Finding A Seat
Everyone dealing with a difficult mother-in-law should take a deep breath before reading this. One MIL set her Thanksgiving table without enough seats because a granddaughter “decided to show up last minute.” When OP arrived, she saw that there were no seats or space left for another chair. To make matters worse, her husband’s ex — who the MIL said “is just as much family as OP” — was seated next to her husband.
And so where did OP sit? On her husband’s lap. “The table went awkwardly silent … MIL AND [the ex] Julissa were barely eating … Minutes later, Julissa excused herself to the bathroom and so did MIL. It was still awkward but I did my best to focus on dinner … Later, there was just so much tension and MIL was barely able to speak … [MIL] texted me saying what I did was inappropriate and that I ruined Thanksgiving dinner and made it awkward … She said it wasn’t her fault chairs were taken.”
Redditors were fuming but said this MIL isn’t the only a—hole here.
“As a husband, I would have gotten up, made 2 plates, taken them to the living room and had Thanksgiving with my wife. he needs to remove himself from being next to ex, and give ex and MIL no cause for hope.”
Clearing Out The Bigots
The holidays have (unfortunately) gotten the reputation of being a sort of “Best In Show” for bigots. All the racists of the family think they finally have a chance to shine! Much to the horror and fury of everyone else at the table.
One woman on Reddit was trying to get ahead of this by giving her ex-husband an idea of what he can’t talk about at Thanksgiving since he is “constantly” sharing his social, religious, and political views. Plus! He’ll get angry with his kids if they disagree or ask him to stop.
And so she sent him this text with the “rules” of Thanksgiving.
“…No weapons No talking about politics, survival skills, religion, spirituality, world views, sexuality, other people’s bodies or health choices, significant others, divorce, or controversial subjects not listed above. The goal is to have a peaceful holiday dinner…If people are getting upset or uncomfortable, change the subject. Inability to adhere to etiquette or appropriate behavior will result in being sent home.”
*Round of applause*
And that’s how you do it, folks! Check out her whole perfect text here and then brace yourself for her ex’s response.
“[He called me a] ‘F’n Na zi.'”
YUP! People were cheering this woman on, telling her to go ahead and uninvite him and be thankful for a peaceful meal and plenty of leftovers.
“I just cut and pasted your entire rule list into an email that is now going to be my Christmas rule list because I have several people coming that need to hear this. So thank you,” one person said. “If someone can’t be polite for 6 hours (tops), they needn’t come.”
“Your ex is TA. You went out of your way to invite him. He responded by insulting you. I would dis-invite him. He’s an egotistical sh*t-stirrer. Stick by your guns. Enforce your rules.”
Asking For A Time Change
One woman on Reddit is possibly spending Thanksgiving with her boyfriend’s family this year, and it’s already a mess. The two of them are in their 50s and have been together for about four years. This year, he wanted to have Thanksgiving with his kids and their families before Thanksgiving so everyone could do their thing on the day of.
“I thought it was a great idea,” the woman who originally posted said. But this is Reddit, so you know she wasn’t thinking that for long. The dinner was ultimately planned for 5 or 6 p.m. on the Saturday before Thanksgiving.
“I told him that they knew I don’t get off work before 5:00, 6:00 is questionable. Then he said that I’m always at work so it doesn’t really matter. He said that I could come after I got off work and he would make sure that they save me a plate of food.”
There was a whole bunch of back and forth between her, her boyfriend, and one of his daughters about this plan. But again and again, they told her to come whenever she could and that there would be food for her.
“My feelings are really hurt at this point because I feel like, for one he didn’t talk to me about anything before he let his daughter just decide what time, what they were going to serve, everything about it, because it was at her house…I also understand that everyone might not get to go. And I feel like they really didn’t care if I was able to go or not. And when I asked him why he just let her decide everything and not bring up the fact that I couldn’t go…he just told me that it was at her house and she got to decide when everything was going to be…So now I’m just pushing his kids away and not worried about if they like me or not, and I’m the bad guy.”
Now Reddit is just waiting for her to cry them a river.
“Someone else is hosting the dinner so the time isn’t up to your husband. And it seems that Saturday at 5 worked for everyone else. It sucks but sometimes accommodations can’t/won’t be made for one person. I think you’re being a little prickly about this. Everyone is clearly telling you to come later and they will have food for you … You telling them you won’t go even if it’s just an hour or so later is silly.”
“Get over yourself and show up after work and stop thinking that the entire family should revolve around your schedule.”
Wanting To Stay Elsewhere
The TL;DR of this is that one woman on Reddit wants to stay at an AirBNB for Thanksgiving instead of at her in-laws’ house. But since she gave a whole lot of context, we feel the need to too. A lot of this is because of her 7-year-old nephew “Patrick.”
“He is very poorly behaved, and my SIL refuses to discipline him under the guise of ‘gentle parenting.’ He interrupts constantly, can’t be left alone longer than 5min, throws stuff inside, jumps all over the couches, and the most infuriating- cries every time someone tries to even lightly ‘discipline’ him.”
The SIL then gets “frustrated” with her family when they jump in. Also, Patrick doesn’t have a bedtime on holidays so he is often up until 11-12 — leaving no time for “adult conversation or fun.”
“…If I am being honest, it makes the Holidays very stressful and I no longer enjoy going home to see my family. Most of the time, it’s not even worth the PTO because I will not get a break so long as he’s there…So, this year for Thanksgiving I am wondering if I WBTA for suggesting to my husband to get an AIRBNB instead of staying with my in-laws where my nephew will be? (This is not a financial imposition for us) I know he’s going to get frustrated with me and tell me I need to ‘not let it get to me so much’ but I really don’t think it’s fair that I can’t enjoy a single holiday because of this situation.”
OP ended up going back to her post and adding that when she brought this up to her husband, he said it will make him “look bad” to tell his parents they’re not staying there because of his nephew. Umm…so don’t say it that way?!
“I think this is kind of manipulative. Can he not just tell his family there are 8 people staying in the house, it would be better for us if we just got a place on our own? … It feels like he’s trying to make me the bad guy when he also agrees his nephew is very poorly behaved it just doesn’t bother him to the degree it does me because my nephew is constantly trying to occupy my time not his.”
Now Reddit is saying hello to AirBNB and buh-bye to Patrick’s stressful antics.
“My husband and I started doing this simply to have some peace and quiet and a space to recharge when visiting family. It’s been SO helpful and allowed us to show up better and happier with our family because we have our own concerted space to decompress and have some quiet. I don’t think you need to say it’s because of your nephew but just hey we are doing this we can’t wait to celebrate the holidays together- period.”
“Get an Airbnb and enjoy the holiday. If you husband doesn’t like it tell him he’s welcome to still stay with Dennis the menace if he wants to but you will not be.”
Required to Detransition to Attend Thanksgiving Dinner
One woman took to Reddit to explain the wildly unacceptable position her family put her in ahead of their Thanksgiving gathering: Requiring her to detransition to attend their meal.
She explains on the AITA forum, “My stepmother wants me to come to family dinner and while I don’t mind traveling and would like to go, my father wants me to come as my old self. I have offered to come in jeans and sweater, but will not change the hair and nails for Thanksgiving.” The woman continues, “He has refused allowing anything feminine as it might upset his friends and neighbors. My brothers think that me not coming is going to cause more issues than simply going as a guy but I stand by my decision to not go.”
Users flooded the replies with love, empathy, and encouragement, with one Redditor writing, “If they want you there, then they can have you as you are: a woman. You deserve to be loved and respected for yourself, not for how well you can pretend to be the person they think you should be” and another commenting, “It is fine for you to stand up for yourself. This is who you are, so your folks’ neighbors should know about it. It’s nothing shameful, nothing to be hidden away. Your dad is the one with the issue here, it’s not on you to be someone you’re not to make him more comfortable.”
For more on this heartwrenching situation, read the full story here.
Dreading Thanksgiving Because It’s Work
An exhausted mother is venting her frustrations on Reddit, calling herself the Grinch of Thanksgiving, and we truly feel for her. She explains her very complicated, overwhelming holiday plans with her husband, two kids, and three dogs, writing, “The plan is to pack up… and be at his parents house by 8am so [my husband] can clock into work. At which point it will be me in charge of the two kids and three dogs while he is busy working.”
She continues, “My FIL is the type to drink beer in his garage or like go off with my SILs kids… Meanwhile I’ll be having my MIL trying to hold my EBF baby and my 7-year-old will be going in different directions but I’ll have to keep an eye on both?” The saga goes on, with the mom explaining, “Then after the early lunch at his parents we’re supposed to pack up and then drive to my mom’s house where my head REALLY wants to explode.”
“My mom is a narcissist who told me my baby was autistic because it didn’t want to look at her last time we visited,” she writes. “I’ll be with my baby, watching the 7-year-old… My husband will inevitably be ‘tired’ from working or off talking to my mom’s boyfriend about politics or something stupid and I’ll be alone.”
She ultimately explains that her husband “was all pissed like we shouldn’t go because you’re just going to have an attitude” and is guilt-tripping her for the amount of stress she’s dreading while he is basically carefree. Redditors sympathized with her, with one user writing, “At your mom’s house, hand the baby to your husband and tell him you have the baby, I’ll watch the 7 yr old, and at 5 pm we’ll both walk the dogs. Divide the duties! He’s not any more tired than you are when he’s done working a half day, because you have just worked a half day as well.”
Another user commented, “Please ask you husband where your mental health falls in the list of priorities, above or below appeasement of the family. If it was so important you go then he should be off work to help. And no, you don’t owe anyone time. And why do you want to expose your children to your mom who sounds like a huge PITA? Girl. Skip it. Have a movie day with 7 yo and baby in bed. Make frozen pizza and popcorn. Have fun. Not stress.”
Read more on this anxiety-inducing situation and the advice given to this harried mom here.
Being Asked to Cook Half of the “Potluck” Meal
Frustration is the theme of this round-up, and as such, we have a man who’s frustrated with his wife and in-laws. Posting to the AITA subreddit, he explains, “This year we’re spending Thanksgiving with my in-laws. My wife really doesn’t like to cook so in our marriage, I do most of the cooking. So when her parents announced a month ago that their thanksgiving will be potluck, I knew I was in for the cooking duty.”
He shares that they have been tasked with the turkey, but the day before the holiday, “her parents called and said some people said they can’t cook their promised dishes and [asked] if I could cook more. She gave me a list: Pot roast, potato dish, my famous stir-fried green beans, a cake.”
The man writes, “I looked at the list, looked at [my wife], looked at the list again, and said no. At this point, they’re basically asking me to cook an entire meal. I asked if they’re short on dishes because people are not coming. She answered that people are still coming but life came up and they couldn’t cook. I asked what came up but she doesn’t know. I told her if they’re coming, they can buy restaurant dishes to bring. She said I have all day to prepare and I’m cooking tomorrow anyway.”
Redditors let him know he was right to say no, with one user writing, “Your in-laws decide to outsource the entire meal to you? Guess Thanksgiving is at your house this year instead because they sure aren’t hosting. NTA. This is clearly insane. Your wife needs to learn how to draw boundaries with her family. And if she can’t do that, she can cook those things herself.”
Another commented, “Do not let these people take advantage of your good will. You’ve already been generous enough volunteering to do two turkeys for 30 people! And you’re not even the host! These people reek of entitlement,” with another user agreeing, “You’re already doing the main dish and centerpiece of the meal, that’s plenty. Other people’s failure to plan does not constitute an emergency on your part.”
Are we feeling thankful yet?
Getting Drunk Instead of Watching Their Kids
A frustrated 22-year-old took to Reddit to explain her irritation with her family for routinely expecting her to babysit their kids while they get drunk on Thanksgiving. As if it can’t get any more demeaning, she says they also sit her at the kids’ table.
She writes, “I complain to my mom every year and she just tells me it’s not like that and is it a big deal to give the parents the day off. I don’t look forward to thanksgiving anymore because it happens every year.” She continues, “My boyfriend invited me to his family thanksgiving this year and I decided to go. I told my mom and she is flipping out telling me it will break her heart to not have me there for Thanksgiving and everyone will miss me. I just want to enjoy Thanksgiving this year.”
Redditors are fully in support of her decision to skip the occasion, with one user writing, “[Your mother] had years to listen to you, and now she’s reaping what she sowed. She’s being kind of dim if she doesn’t give you any options and then it’s surprised when you take one when somebody else offers.”
Another sassily suggested, “I’m thinking Op should have a few glasses of wine before the others even arrive….. ‘Sorry — I’m joining the adults this year!'”
For more takes on this holiday scenario, read the full story here.
Intricate Feast Dissed By Her Mother-in-Law
Cooking a huge meal for the holidays is stressful enough without your mother-in-law refusing to eat a single dish, and that’s exactly what this Reddit woman is dealing with.
After detailing her diverse spread of nearly 20 dishes, she explains, “My husband dropped the bombshell on me that his mom wants to bring her own dinner to eat when she comes over. I asked him why she would need to bring her own food when I will have more than enough here. He just made excuses saying I know how his mother is a ‘grade A picky eater’ and she won’t ‘like’ anything I have prepared.”
She continues, “I think she is being incredibly rude and disrespectful of the time, money, and labor I have put into this upcoming meal. I told [my husband] if she can’t eat anything here then she is welcome to stay home and eat whatever she wants. My husband is now calling me insensitive and petty. He says I am ruining the holiday. I don’t see it that way. I only want friends and family around who are appreciative and kind — I don’t need the negativity of someone rejecting everything I’ve cooked and insulting my cooking when I’ve worked so hard.”
Redditors encouraged her to take the high road, with one user writing, “OP, I think your menu sounds fantastic, but I don’t think you even need to pay it any mind if she brings her own food. You have a fantastic spread and I feel like MIL is going to regret bring her own and struggle to not abandon it when presented with the feast you’re going to lay out. At the very least, she’s making herself into an odd minority person when everyone else will be enjoying the meal you prepared. Why go out of your way to be snarky about it? With all that food, you must be having quite a few people over — with all of them enjoying the food, don’t you think you’ll make yourself look kind of bad by focusing in on the one person who’s already cast herself out of the group in this way?”
Get the full dish on this disappointing situation here.
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