Relax and do things your Wei

For me the last few months have been a frenzy of activity as I flew across country numerous times because of my father’s failing health, a wedding in Austin, a wake in NYC, a conference in Antonio, a week in El Salvador with friends, and hosting numerous guests at the ranch. Throughout it all I have tried my best to embrace Wu-wei, (pronounced “woo-way”) an important concept of Taoism. Sometimes Wu-wei is translated as “non-doing non-action,” but a better way to think of it, however, is as a paradox of “action of non-action.”

Think of Wu-wei as cultivating a state of being in which your actions are effortlessly in alignment with the ebb and flow and being at peace while engaged in the most frenetic tasks in order to carry them all out with skill and efficiency. When someone talks of being “in the zone,” they are capturing Wu-wei:  virtually being at one with what we are doing, in a state of profound concentration and flow. It is a feeling.

Here are a few ideas that may help you incorporate Wu-wei into your life.

Ashton Graham
Ashton Graham

Learn to relax your mind and your body. Carrying tension and stress in your body and mind in not a healthy way to exist, especially when it becomes your normal state of being. Learning to be in a state of “relaxed alertness” can enable you to deal with situations with ease. If you can be at peace while engaged in the most frenetic tasks, you will be able to do them with maximum skill and efficiency. Think of it as effortless action, letting go and not overthinking things. To get into the ebb and flow, I utilize breath work. Throughout the day I do a full body scan of my body to check to see whether I am holding any tension, and I take inventory of my mental state. Is my mind racing from one thing to the next or worrying about something I have no control over?

If my jaw is clenched, or I am hunched over a computer screen, I take a moment to practice box breathing and correct my posture.

Remember that you have a choice of how to react. Wu-wei is not total surrender or giving up.  Remember that you cannot control much of what happens in your life, but you can control how you react. For instance, if you are experiencing injustices, Wu-wei suggests a persistent amount of pressure, in other words, act. Here I don’t mean jack hammer or wrecking ball pressure. The Wu-wei kind of pressure is a soft strike, like water quietly working through and around the toughest cliffs or rocks.

Know when effort is appropriate and when effort is not appropriate. Of course, that weekly report to the boss isn’t going to write itself, and the dishes don’t wash themselves, so action is required.  Bruce Lee said: Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves… now, water can flow, or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” Yes, sometimes being proactive feels better than doing nothing, but to truly practice Wu-wei, sometimes it is best to not act.

Embrace imperfection and allow yourself some grace. Life is messy, and we know nothing is perfect. Don’t spend time torturing yourself to achieve the impossible; let life and events naturally unfold. I had a friend who recently stressed over a big college reunion. She worried about her hair color, her wardrobe, and her weight, but in the end, none of that mattered--it was connecting with old friends that made the reunion a success.

Implement mindfulness and gratitude. Pay attention to what is happening in the present moment and become of aware of your thoughts and feelings. Most importantly, observe your thoughts and feelings, but do not judge them.  Be flexible and kind to yourself, and take a moment to appreciate the smallest details.

Start your path with self-acceptance and accepting imperfections as part of being human and feeling whole.  Allow yourself to be in tune with the universe and try not to force things to happen. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

Feel free to share your thoughts with me: [email protected].

Ashton Graham is an educator, book publisher, photographer, cowgirl and yoga teacher. She is currently studying to become a yoga therapist and lives on a ranch in West Texas. Visit www.ashtoncannon.com to learn more.

This article originally appeared on Las Cruces Sun-News: Relax and do things your Wei