RHONY Star Bershan Shaw Shares Her Biggest Life Lessons After Beating Cancer Twice
"The doctor said I shouldn't be here. Statistics said I shouldn't be here. But I'm standing here. I'm a warrior"
Bershan Shaw calls herself a “multi-preneur” because (like many of us) she wears many hats. “I'm not just one thing. I think the world has put women in a box where you just do one thing—you know, ‘I own a boutique,’ or ‘I make clothes’ or ‘I bake cakes.’”
Shaw has many titles, including motivational speaker, life coach, interior designer and TV personality. She’s also a survivor, having been diagnosed with cancer twice, and reality TV fans may recognize her from The Real Housewives of New York City. Although not an official “Housewife,” Shaw became a surprise breakout star of Season 13—among other highlights, she ruffled a few feathers after calling fellow cast members “boring” and “grandmas” during a group dinner.
We asked Shaw to share some life lessons she has learned through her health journey—and how her experience with cancer has helped her prioritize herself and help others live life to the fullest.
Don’t Delay Things You Want To Accomplish
Shaw says her experience with stage 4 breast cancer made her realize that each day is a gift, and time is never guaranteed.
“I always say, ‘Get busy living, not dying. Get busy living with cancer.’ Cancer was my gift. It taught me to live and live out loud and live now. Because tomorrow just may not come. We say, ‘I’ll do it tomorrow. Or next month, or next year.’ That may not come, so do it now.”
Related: How Breast Cancer Awareness Month Makes a Difference
Live Life to the Fullest—Every Day
At one point after her second cancer diagnosis, doctors gave Shaw a dire prognosis, estimating she only had three months to live. Thankfully, that prediction turned out to be wrong—but Shaw says it had a silver lining because it served as powerful motivation to make the most of every day.
“When they told me it was terminal, incurable breast cancer, at first you go through shock, disappointment, anger. But then I just got on my knees, and I say, ‘God, just give me every day of glory. Give me every day to do something better. I'll be better than I was yesterday.’ I would read and feel happy. I would go to the gym. Don’t get me wrong, I was depressed in the beginning. But then something clicked and I realized I had to get busy living. I would watch funny movies. I traveled a lot—I was traveling while I was doing chemo. I was living, shopping, eating, exercising, all of it.”
Tackle Your Goals Now, and Make Self-Care a Priority
Not surprisingly, getting a terminal diagnosis tends to jumpstart your “bucket list” plans, and Shaw says it inspired her to focus on things she wanted to do and the life changes she wanted to make. “I call them habits, not goals, because a habit is changing a lifestyle. I changed my diet. I don't eat meat. I exercise three or four times a week. I drink green shakes. I go to meditation and spas. I get a massage every month. I take care of myself. Self-love.”
Related: Jason Momoa and Chris Sharma on 'The Climb' and What's On Their Bucket Lists
Keep an Open Mind and an Upbeat Outlook
Shaw said she was open to anything that might improve her chances for survival or help her enjoy life to the fullest while healing. “I did everything. I did acupuncture, changed my diet. Exercise, Reiki, affirmations, manifestation, spa treatments, everything, because I didn't know the magic formula. But through it all, I knew I had to keep a positive attitude.”
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
Going through huge, life-threatening experiences made Shaw realize that little annoyances don’t really matter. “I don't care if you cut in front of me or you're mad at me for something small—it's silly.”
Nurture Your Inner Warrior
Shaw created her signature “Warrior Method” approach to encourage others to recognize their own inner strength. “I used to go to the hospital with affirmations and manifestations. I would come into chemo with red pumps or red faux fur and some lipstick. I had my wig. I looked good. I was dressed to the nines. I was not going to let cancer kill me.” Her attitude prompted Shaw’s doctor to suggest that she would be a great keynote speaker for a hospital event for patients and survivors.
“When I did the keynote, I was standing there crying, and I said 'I shouldn't be here today. The doctor said I shouldn't be here. Statistics said I shouldn't be here. But I'm standing here. I'm a warrior.’ Because I'm not going to let statistics define me. It's between me and God.”
Build (or Join) a Community to Support Others
A passionate mental health advocate, Shaw recently launched a mobile app, URAWarrior, where users can find a supportive community, virtual coaching, personal growth challenges and mental health resources. “It's a positive, inclusive, safe community where you're not alone. I think the world is living in a crisis. People are suffering in silence. And we need something positive. With the app, you can get help from coaches and therapists, and connect with other people who will support you.”
Related: Parade and Cleveland Clinic's 2022 Mental Health Survey Finds That ‘Mindful Moments’ Are Key
Reinforce a Positive Mindset with an Encouraging Affirmation
Shaw is a passionate believer in the power of continually repeating a strong maxim that makes you feel confident. Each day, she recites hers: “I am powerful. I am healthy. I am enough. Miracles happen to me every day.”
Next up, check out these 20 podcasts, Instagram accounts and books about breast cancer that will make you feel less alone.
