Sen. Tammy Duckworth's doctor told her she was too old to have a baby. Now the mom of 2 is fighting to protect IVF access for others.

Following the Alabama Supreme Court’s ruling that embryos are “children,” Sen. Tammy Duckworth is fighting more than ever to secure in vitro fertilization (IVF) protections for Americans nationwide. The Illinois Democrat is advocating the passage of the Access to Family Building Act, which would establish a statutory right to IVF access for all Americans who need assisted reproductive technology to start or grow a family. It’s an issue that hits close to home for the lawmaker, given that she had both of her daughters via IVF. And there was a time when her access to these treatments was curtailed.

“I actually wrote about this in my book [Every Day Is a Gift: A Memoir], even though it’s deeply personal, because so many women had been talking to me about that journey,” Duckworth tells Yahoo Life. “I struggled to conceive [traditionally] for two years.” As she approached her 42nd birthday, Duckworth, a combat veteran of the Iraq War who served as a U.S. Army helicopter pilot, was referred to a fertility doctor at a VA hospital. “I knew it was a Catholic facility. The doctor at that hospital didn't even take me into her office. She met me in the waiting area and said, ‘Well, you're almost 42. You're too old, you'll never be able to conceive. Just go home and enjoy your husband. There's nothing we can do for you.’”

Duckworth remembers feeling devastated. “I didn't know anything about IVF and what the rates of success were. And I was really confused.” About 18 months later, she was speaking at a women’s leadership forum and was asked what her biggest regret was. “I said, ‘Well, I put off having children, then I got wounded in Iraq. And then I had recovery in the hospital, and that just kept pushing me and the time just flew by. And then, I tried for two years to get pregnant. I couldn't, and now, I'm too old.’” Later, one of the women in the group came up to Duckworth and told her that she absolutely was not too old and referred her to her fertility doctor.

“I eventually went, and within 18 months of seeing that doctor, at a non-Catholic facility, I had Abigail [at 46],” Duckworth says. She went on to welcome her younger daughter, Maile, four years later — becoming, at 50, the first sitting U.S. senator to give birth while in office.

Because of her age, Duckworth's doctors referred to her pregnancy as “geriatric.” “It was fine,” the veteran says. “I still have my babies. I don't care.”

Though she had to go through many cycles before conceiving and had to pay for her fertility treatment out of pocket, Duckworth was grateful to be able to afford it as a congresswoman and then senator. She also appreciated being able to lean on “the sorority of women that were going through it” with her. “As I became more willing to speak about it publicly, the more women who would come forward and say, ‘Oh, my gosh, I didn't know this. Oh, I didn't know that,’” the lawmaker says. “And so I think that I was able to help other folks get to a place where they could start families.”

Duckworth’s passion for supporting families is also fueling her fight to pass the Access to Family Building Act, which was blocked in the Senate this week by Sen. Cindy Hyde-Smith of Mississippi. “Since the Supreme Court struck [Roe vs. Wade] down, we've seen so many Republican-led states not only enact abortion bans, but they're also pushing proposals that would jeopardize access to IVF and other reproductive technologies that millions of Americans rely on to start or grow their families,” says Duckworth. “There's this movement to call a fertilized egg a human being with personhood and equal personhood rights.”

In the process to conceive her elder daughter, Duckworth herself had five fertilized eggs, or embryos, three of which were found to be nonviable. “My doctor discarded those, and we implanted the viable one, which is my 9-year-old Abigail,” she says. The senator’s doctor has since expressed fears to her about the legal consequences if those discarded embryos had been considered people with rights, as Alabama's new ruling asserts.

“Republican legislators and politicians should not be the ones who decide how and when somebody has a child,” Duckworth says of responding to this and other threats to IVF with her new bill. “I realized that what I needed to do was establish a statutory right to access to IVF and other forms of assisted reproductive technology for every American who needs it, no matter what state they live in.”

Given that IVF is in the news frequently lately, Duckworth believes it's essential that it be discussed openly. “We need to normalize it,” says Duckworth. “Back in the day, people didn't talk about breast cancer. How many lives [have] we saved now because we're very open about it? Imagine how many more happy families could be started because people finally find out about the technology that's available.”

Duckworth admits that she’s probably annoying her “poor staff members” who she often encourages to take charge of their fertility and freeze their eggs. “I’m like, ‘I know it is inappropriate, I'm your boss, but freeze your eggs in your 30s. I'll give you time off!’” she says. “A few of them have now had babies through IVF, so, you know, I feel like I should be the godmother here.”

When it comes to her own girls, who are now 5 and 9, Duckworth is learning to be more patient. “I’m used to using my army command voice, and my 5-year-old, when she’s really pushing the boundaries, my company commander voice comes out, and she cries, and I’m like, ‘ooh, I can't do that,’” the mom of two says. “I forget that she never saw me as a soldier, because I was retired by the time I had her. So then I feel like the worst mom in the world. But kids teach you patience.”

She’s also protective of her time in mom mode. “I have boundaries that I've set up with my work and with my colleagues,” she says. “I tell them, ‘You’re not going to see me before 9 o'clock, because I'm dropping my girls off at 8:30 at school. And that's not negotiable.’ Occasionally I will make an adjustment, but for the most part, I don't. I will do conference calls on my drive in after 9 o'clock. But my kids are my kids. And that's just the way it is.”

Sometimes, she’ll fly to and from Illinois on the same day or spend one or two nights away for work, but her goal is to not be apart from her girls for long. “When I can, I bring them to events, and I welcome other moms and dads bringing their kids to events that they're at with me,” she says. “Kids are welcome because sometimes child care breaks down. We have to be able to do our jobs and take care of our kids.”