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Cosmopolitan

Send a Bag of Gummy Dicks to Someone You Hate or Love

Kelly Allen
2 min read
Photo credit: Etsy/ShipaBagofDicks
Photo credit: Etsy/ShipaBagofDicks

From Cosmopolitan

Remember when it was peak humor in the early 2010s to send someone you didn’t like something anonymously? The hilarity of having a weird, unpaid-for-pizza sent to their house or a letter filled with a ton of glitter was unparalleled back then. Apparently, we haven’t come that far in humor since. If you want to channel your inner youth, you can now send a bag of gummy dicks to someone and remain completely anonymous. Maturity? I don't know her.

Etsy, of all places, is where you can do it. The seller called ShipABagofDicks will anonymously send a bag of gummy dicks to someone for you at the generous price of $7.19–yes, on sale from its original price of $8.99! The description of this opportunity is...a lot. It claims to have the biggest bag of gummy dicks compared to its competitors, saying they sell “tiny, tasteless dicks.” It goes on to say that your friend or enemy deserves their “big, juicy, mouth-watering gummy dicks” instead.

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It looks like the bag comes with a colorful assortment of gummy dicks, presumably of different flavors. The package also includes a note that fittingly reads: “Eat a bag of dicks!”

Everything about this concept is amusing, and the reviews don’t disappoint. “Some asshole hacked my Walmart account,” one reviewer wrote. “They changed my address to their own, so I sent them a bag of dicks.”

There you have it! You can take the "Eat a bag of dicks!" insult to the next level and make someone forever wonder the identity of who sent them a bag of gummy dicks. Do it or don't!

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