Seven reasons why Britney will love Scarborough
By the time you read this, Britney Spears will have filled one of the larger holes in her otherwise resplendent CV. Namely, playing Scarborough. Historians take note: her performance at the Open Air Theatre makes her perhaps the most high-profile visitor to the North Yorkshire coastal town since the German navy in 1914.
Tonight she will play Manchester, but since it’s only two hours away by TransPennine Express, Britney may have a few hours to kill this morning. Don’t worry, Ms Spears (we’re assuming that you are a Telegraph reader) – your daytripping correspondents visited last week and have trodden the sandy tourist trail on your behalf.
Let’s start with Scarborough Castle, a tall, haggard ruin in much the same condition as a sandcastle in a tsunami. It changed hands seven times in the Civil War (oops, they did it again... and again, and again...). and suffered further damage in the German bombardment. It glowers over the town and the North Sea from its position at the top of a headland, and marks the approximate location at which the Romans once built a signal station.
It’s from up at the castle that Scarborough looks its best. There are two beaches, and some leftover architectural grandeur from its spa town heyday. There’s the Rotunda, a cylindrical museum of local geology that was opened in 1829, and the Grand Hotel, which for a time in the 19th century was the largest hotel in Europe. Built in a Parisian-looking baroque style, its design invokes divisions of time: four towers for the seasons, 12 floors for the months, and (originally) 365 bedrooms. Judging by the reviews, a stay there today feels like eternity.
The hotel looks over South Bay, which on the day we visited was crawling with kids. A beach ball bounced across the road as if seeking to enter the amusement arcades. Britney’s ￡172 million fortune could give her an extremely long stint on the Moto GP machine, and still buy her a few million takeaways from the fish and chip shops. This would solve Scarborough’s seagull problem, if only by allowing them to eat until they burst.
Although she will miss the start of tomorrow’s annual cricket festival (“one of the most historic sporting events in the world”, according to the Yorkshire tourist board), Britney will have to be industrious in order to tick off the rest of the sights of Scarborough. There’s the Central Tramway, which is next to the Grand Hotel and is one of the town’s two remaining funiculars (it used to have five); the art gallery, which deserves more visitors than the total we observed there (one); the North Bay Railway, which is absolutely on the novelty end of the railway spectrum and as such could in no way accommodate even half of her entourage; and there’s the Scarborough Fair Collection, which showcases fairground rides, steam engines, and mechanical organs, all of which could, in at least one or two of the infinite universes theorised by physicists, be Britney’s bag.
She’ll end her trip with the conclusion that Scarborough is pretty much devoid of the glitz it must have had back in the 19th century, but it’s still very popular with tourists, and still in possession of some strikingly visible history. Who knows, maybe she’ll visit... one more time.
Seven splendid reasons to visit Scarborough
The museum
You can visit the Rotunda for a bargain-bin ￡3/adult, which also covers the art gallery.
The park
The amazingly elaborate Peasholm Park has an oriental theme and includes a pagoda, lake and waterfalls.
The gallery
Currently holding a good exhibition on the final year of First World War poet Wilfred Owen’s life, between 1917 and 1918.
The beach
For our money (with the caveat that both are free), North Bay is better: it’s quieter, and the beach huts add to the scenery.
The castle
Incredible views. Easily the best attraction in Scarborough. Family tickets ￡16.90.
Daytripper | More from our series on UK days out
The railway
The North Bay Railway, whose south end you can find by Peasholm Park, runs every 20 minutes between 10am and 5.30pm. Return tickets cost ￡4 for adults and ￡3 for children.
The collection
See those engines and organs at the Scarborough Fair Collection, which is, in fact, a museum rather than a doleful album of Simon & Garfunkel covers. ￡22/family.