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Cosmopolitan

Your Sex Horoscope for the Weekend

Jake Register
Photo credit: Getty/Nastia Kobza
Photo credit: Getty/Nastia Kobza

From Cosmopolitan

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Your sexoscope for the week of August 2 to August 8:

Aries

If you’re single:

Tonight’s Virgo Moon suggests that work’s keeping you busy, but there’s still a huge chance for you to get it in, Aries! Venus and Uranus, planet of surprises, are squaring off and pulling some unexpected action your way, so don’t be shocked when you clock out and find someone sexy sliding into your DMs!

If you haven’t DTR:

There hasn’t been a week this great for your sex life in a loooooooong time! Tonight’s astro-weather makes you feel kinky and want to try something new in bed, so pull out a pair of handcuffs or a new toy (or even a third person!)—you won’t regret it! The Sun and Venus team up with lucky Jupiter at the end of the week, adding a little romance to the mix too, so this could be the week you define the relationship!

If you’ve been together forever:

Out of nowhere, you’re feeling on top of the world, full of energy, and ready for action—and so is your boo! Try something kinky tonight—Venus and Uranus (how appropriate) are square each other, making for the perfect astrology to get your freak on! The Sun and Venus, in your chart’s love/sex zone, are also being gassed up by lucky Jupiter at the end of the week, too, so unbelievably incredible sex is practically guaranteed!

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Taurus

If you’re single:

You defs want out of the house tonight, because the roommate/family drama at home is killing you! Luckily, the Virgo Moon in your chart’s love/sex zone means that finding someone sexy at the bar to distract yourself from the drama at home is a total breeze. The week starts off with a busy Libra Moon, but once the Moon enters sexy Scorpio on Tuesday, text your hookup—they’ll hit you back ASAP the moment you mention round two.

If you haven’t DTR:

Life at the house feels pretty crazy, so an adult sleepover with your FWB is definitely the move. Sure, things are still just casual between the two of you, but if you’re trying to take your situationship to the next level, this could be the week for you. Jupiter, in your chart’s intimacy zone, teams up with the Sun and Venus at the end of the week—this means that on top of having way better sex, you could lock down an actual relationship if you want.

If you’ve been together forever:

Tonight = the perfect date night, thanks to the Moon activating your chart’s zone of sex and romance. You’re feeling flirty and fun, and after dinner, you’re in the mood to pounce on your bae, thanks to electrifying Uranus squaring Venus! Your week starts off busy and you’re missing your S.O. while you’re at work, but at the end of the week, lucky Jupiter warms up your chart’s intimacy zone—aka, there’s even more hot action heading your way!

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Gemini

If you’re single:

You’re feeling like a homebody tonight, TBH, so stay in, Gemini! Don’t be shocked if your phone lights up with a text from your ex or that cutie that ghosted you forever ago—yikes. That being said, you’re never one to turn down a good time, so… don’t feel bad for texting them back this week when you’re feelin' thirsty. ??

If you haven’t DTR:

You’re staying in tonight, minding your own business, and maybe missing your boo a little, when an ex-flame hits you up out of the blue. What do you do? Well, you’re not technically with anyone, so getting it on with someone else while your regular hookup is away isn’t really a bad thing, right? Whether you text your ex back or not, the flirty Libra Moon at the beginning of the week promises that you’re getting busy with somebody, at least!

If you’ve been together forever:

Mercury Retrograde may be over (finally), but a blast from the past in the form of an ex or an old argument with your current lover could make a surprise reappearance tonight! Don’t stress, though—Jupiter, planet of luck, is teaming up with the Sun and lovely Venus at the end of the week, meaning that you (and your relationship) escape from whatever the drama is completely unscathed.

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Cancer

If you’re single:

Tonight could be the night one of your friendships has a few benefits added to it, if you catch my drift… If you’re out at the bar, trying to find a hottie to take home, and you’re having no luck at all, why not just take one of your homies to bed instead? Mercury Retrograde’s over, so as long as you’re clear about your intentions (that it’s a one time thing, or maybe you want to start doing it on the reg) then it should be fun!

If you haven’t DTR:

Tonight’s post-f*cking pillowtalk reveals that you and your FWB have different ideas about where your situationship is headed. Mercury Retrograde’s over and the Moon is in Virgo, which is great astrology for talking things like this out. As long as you’re open with them and make sure you listen to what they have to say, the two of you can find a way to make things work. If not, at the very least you could still be friends, just sans benefits.

If you’ve been together forever:

Your relationship wants and needs aren’t being met, and neither are your partner’s. Last month was full of arguing and disagreements about that, but now that Mercury Retrograde is over, you two are able to do something about it! You’re a pretty emotional sign, but this week you’re getting deep in your feels over your relationship. Don’t feel bad, though! You survived the retrograde—the worst is over, so you can defs make things work now.

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Leo

If you’re single:

If it's your birthday weekend, b-day sex is totally on your mind, and with lovely Venus in your sign, getting laid is no problem at all because you’re looking good, feeling gorgeous, and turning heads whenever you walk into a room! Make sure you get the number of whichever lucky hottie ends up going home with you—lucky Jupiter activating your chart’s love/sex sector at the end of the week = getting laid again, or maybe even going on a date!

If you haven’t DTR:

Your situationship is speeding up, Leo! There’s a ton of romantic (and sexy) astrology going on this week, especially with the Libra Moon from Sunday 'til Tuesday morning, and at the end of the week, Jupiter in your chart’s love/sex zone is turned on by Venus and the Sun—which means that getting boo’d up could be one of your birthday gifts this year!

If you’ve been together forever:

Some of your sign’s most notable traits are how showy, dramatic, and over-the-top you are, so a surprise, supes romantic, and extravagant date for your b-day gift is right up your alley, right? If there was ever a week to start talking marriage, moving in together, etc. this is totally it! August is tTHE most romantic month of 2019 for you, and this week your relationship could glow up big time!

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Virgo

If you’re single:

Your love life’s been a little, well, dry lately it feels, but tonight’s electrifying astrology could bring love (or some good D) your way in ways you least expect it! Maybe someone you used to know hits you up, or a sexy new face at the bar strikes up a conversation with you—this is thanks to Uranus, planet of surprises, square Venus. Don’t expect anything more than a fling, though, because this person will leave as quickly as they came (pun intended).

If you haven’t DTR:

Your situationship is staying pretty low-key right now, to the point that you might even feel like you’re giving up hope on it ever developing further or that you’re being ghosted, but tonight’s astrology brings that spark back—even if it’s just for the weekend—when your almost-boo surprises you in bed with a new position, some sexy lingerie, or something freaky-deeky that you absolutely love!

If you’ve been together forever:

Venus in Leo means your love life is slowing down for the next couple of weeks. You’re patient with your boo and you don’t particularly like PDA or any touchy-feely stuff anyway, but you’re still bored! You want to know why you’re not getting laid or having fun together anymore, and how to fix it! You know better than anyone else that if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself, so either A) buy the nicest vibrator you can afford or B) make more direct moves on your partner before the boredom kills you!

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Libra

If you’re single:

Your sign’s stereotype is you're always having three or four cuties to fool around with at any given moment, and guess what? You’re 200% living up to that reputation this weekend! Getting laid this weekend (once, twice, three, heck, maybe even four times) is written in the stars, Libra, and all of the hotties you hooked up with keep blowing up your phone all week long! Have fun!

If you haven’t DTR:

How does your regular hookup feel about adding a third person to the mix? If threesomes or any sort of group sex sound appealing, this is the weekend to try it out! If you’re open to the idea of a polyamory or an open relationship, then you and your boo and whoever else you want to include may define that relationship this week! If you’re only interested in monogamy, no worries—your love life is looking great, too!

If you’ve been together forever:

FYI: your horoscope has major potential for your S.O. to pop question this week, or start “the talk” about upgrading your relationship (sorry for any spoilers). You know how you’re always taking a billion years to make a decision—even if it’s just deciding what outfit to wear? That’s probs not going to be a problem this week, Libra, because your love life is looking good, and for once, you feel like you're right where you're supposed to be.

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Scorpio

If you’re single:

Someone totally NOT your type is the first person to catch your eye when you’re going out this weekend! Seriously, whoever you hook up with this weekend will completely change your perception on who you might even want to date in the long-term!

If you haven’t DTR:

You’re in the mood to see your friends this weekend, not so much your FWB, so go out and have a good time! Just a heads up, though, when you run into your boo (or someone way sexier) while you’re out, you’re 99% ending up turning into that one friend who ditches the squad to get laid. That’s not a bad thing—you’re only human! Just give your buds a heads up so they don't suddenly worry when you're nowhere to be found.

If you’ve been together forever:

As a fixed sign, you’re as loyal as they come, but even you get the urge to window shop from time to time, which is exactly what happens this weekend! You know your partner better than they know themselves (literally as if you’re psychic) so if you think they’re down for a threesome, ask them—your wish might just come true.

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Sagittarius

If you’re single:

You know that cute coworker who’s been giving you heart eyes at work lately? Guess what, Sagittarius—they probs feel the same way about you, and this weekend is perfect for asking them out! Is it in line with your job’s no-fraternization policy? Maybe not—but you’ve never been one to follow anyone’s rules but your own, so why TF should you start now?

If you haven’t DTR:

Commitment ain’t really your thing, Sagittarius, but you’re starting to catch some preeeetty major feels for your hookup now. Venus in Leo is all about variety, trying new things, and experimenting, and most people would interpret that as dating around or not being held down by a love partner, but a committed relationship would be trying something new—for you, at least. If that's on your mind, you’re in luck, because Jupiter (literally the planet of luck) is in your sign, and getting activated by Venus this week!

If you’ve been together forever:

If you don’t have any summer trips planned with your bae, just wait—an adventure with your hunny presents itself to you this week, and promises to be a blast! This could just be a quick day trip to the beach or somewhere fun, or they might straight up surprise you with a full-blown vacation! I’m not saying you need to pack your bags right no, but you should get your suitcase ready juuuust in case!

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Capricorn

If you’re single:

It takes a LOT for you to catch feelings for someone, but this weekend, you connect with someone that meets all your requirements—which you didn’t even think was possible! Don’t get it twisted, I’m not saying they’re the LOYL or anything, but there’s defs way more action than usual happening in your love life this week!

If you haven’t DTR:

As picky as you are, especially with your love life, it’s getting more and more clear every day that your regular hookup is alright (which is above and beyond how you feel about most other people) and the two of you are actually pretty compatible! Your sign is all about boundaries and you’re not big on opening up to other people, but this week, the emotional side of your situationship is glowing up, big time!

If you’ve been together forever:

Your chart’s intimacy zone hasn’t been this busy in months, Capricorn, but this week’s astrology is making it light TF up! You take everything seriously (and I mean everything) but your relationship looks like its taking a step further soon—aka, moving in together, marriage, that kind of stuff. You’re usually overly-cautious and move at a slow, steady pace with everything, but your relationship is upgrading big time now.

Aquarius

If you’re single:

Tonight’s hookup is so high-energy and loud that your roommates/neighbors are practically knocking down the door trying to get you to shut TF up! You can attribute that to lovely Venus squaring off with explosive, electrifying Uranus, the planet of surprises, bringing some seriously hot-and-heavy action to your bedroom. Whether it’s just a one time fling or they become your next S.O. doesn’t matter—the point is that it’s fun and unforgettable!

If you haven’t DTR:

Maybe your FWB is the type to usually just go home after you hook up, but it’s looking like the two of you spend the night and get to know each other on more than just a physical level this weekend! Romance isn’t really your thing 99% of the time, but this week is that 1% where you’re really loving the idea of a relationship!

If you’ve been together forever:

Leo season’s energy is illuminating your chart’s zone of relationships, and this week, it’s all activating Jupiter, planet of growth and luck, in your chart’s zone of hopes and dreams! Where do you see yourself in 10 years with your bae? They’re likely on the exact same page as you, TBH, and this week is *chef’s kiss* perfect to start a conversation about upgrading your relationship!

Pisces

If you’re single:

Leo season is sort of meh for your sign because you’re always busy working on something and don’t have much time for fun, but this weekend is a little different! On your commute to work or while you’re out running errands you run into a total hottie and you like, have to get their number! Your sign is stereotypically pretty shy, but if you just strike up a conversation with them, your bubbly personality and charm basically guarantee that you can get to know them and make plans to see each other soon.

If you haven’t DTR:

As much as you hate it, this weekend you’re so busy that seeing your hookup doesn’t look like an option for you—womp womp. As disheartening as that is, your horoscope is still pretty good, TBH. Your boo could drop by your job just to say “hey,” or go out of their way to hang out this week—sure, it’s nothing huge, but you’re a sucker for these kinds of little gestures, so expect your crush to be 50x bigger by the end of the week!

If you’ve been together forever:

Splurge on a super nice date night this weekend, Pisces! I know what you’re thinking: “A fancy date? In this economy?” but hear me out! Leo season is probs the busiest times of year for you, so you’re defs securing your bag at work, and this week’s incredible astro is primarily focusing on your job and finances, sooooo… you can afford to treat yourselves!

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