Should you give your siblings a plus-one to your wedding? We asked an etiquette expert
When you're planning a wedding, every decision can seem fraught with emotion — not to mention etiquette dilemmas.
Take Olivia Culpo and Christian McCaffrey's recent nuptials, for instance. The newlyweds garnered internet attention (and opinions) for everything from Culpo's dress and makeup to the couple's guest list.
In a Jul. 3 episode of her podcast “Barely Filtered,” Culpo's sister Aurora revealed that her new boyfriend was not invited to Olivia's wedding.
While Aurora joked that the exclusion was rude, Olivia argued that it would be “rude to invite somebody I’ve never met.”
The sisters' lighthearted dilemma raised an important wedding etiquette question: Should you automatically give your unwed sibling a plus-one to your wedding?
According to Diane Gottsman, etiquette expert and founder of The Protocol School of Texas, the answer depends on several factors.
“In a perfect world, you’d want your siblings to bring whoever they would like,” Gottsman tells TODAY.com.
However, other concerns like budget and venue space can make the decision a little more difficult.
Here's everything you should know about plus-one etiquette before you finalize your guest list.
Should you give your sibling a plus-one to your wedding?
If you can accommodate a few extra people, allowing your single siblings to bring plus-ones is always a thoughtful gesture. However, as your head count increases, so do your wedding costs.
For couples on a strict wedding budget, Gottsman recommends limiting plus-ones to guests — yes, even siblings — who are in serious relationships only.
“If you're paying for your wedding, it’s really perfectly acceptable to limit it to just those that have a significant other,” Gottsman says.
In the past, some couples relied on a catchy, yet old-fashioned maxim for wedding invites: “No ring, no bring.”
However, that outdated rule excludes any serious couples who aren't married — and has strong potential to ruffle some feathers.
Gottsman cautions against trying to determine which romantic relationships are firm enough to warrant an extra invite.
“If they’re in a serious relationship, then there should be a plus-one. If they have a partner, there should be a plus-one,” she says.
That doesn't give your sibling carte blanche to bring just anyone, though.
“If they don’t have anyone, or they just want to bring their best friend or somebody you don’t know, that’s where you can draw the line,” she says.
Of course, sticking to black-and-white guidelines is easier said than done when family is involved. Ultimately, Gottsman believes that the happy couple should prioritize their relationships with loved ones.
“Think about the relationship you’re going to have with your sibling after your wedding is over,” she says. “It’s a financial decision, but it’s also an emotional one.”
At the end of the day, Gottsman says that giving your guests a plus-one is a lovely gesture, but not required.
“It’s nice to be able to bring a plus-one because that way, there’s somebody there to sit with and to have fun with. But it’s nice, not mandatory,” Gottsman says.
This article was originally published on TODAY.com