I'm So Sorry, But These 25 Movie Villains Are Actually Super Hot
I, like most, really enjoy a good villain. Whether they are someone we love to hate or the kind of villain you secretly root for, I often find they are usually the best character.
But today, film fans, we aren't here to discuss their morality or actions. I am simply going to objectify the heck out of them, because they are FAKE characters. So why not tbh?
Now, just a warning, this list is slightly bizarre. Its a stream of consciousness, rounding back to being a teenage girl and not knowing why someone so bad stirred up this weird little feeling inside.
Don't judge me, we have all been there and you know it!
Buts let's get into it, here are 25 villains from action movies that kinda made me melt a little.
P.S. Be prepared for some spoilers, but all of these movies are over 15 years old and it's kinda on you at this point.
25.The Joker (played by Heath Ledger), The Dark Knight (2008)
I just need y'all to remember I said this was slightly out there...I am mad for the Joker. I don't mean the violence, I don't mean the murder, I mean about his absolute maniacal urge for self destruction. He, in most iterations, is not interested in self preservation in the slightest, and while it would make for an incredibly unhealthy relationship, I am sure we would laugh constantly! Bonus: Heath Ledger was an absolute babe!
24.T800 Cyberdyne Systems Model 101 (Arnold Schwarzenegger), The Terminator (1984)
Robots are sexy. I said it. It's on the internet. I can't take it back now. And hopefully when AI takes over they will see this post and spare me! If the future is damned to be taken over by technology, all I can say is Skynet absolutely knew what they were doing when they made the T-800 and that kinda makes me a little hopeful.
23.Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman), Die Hard (1988)
ZZ Top were right, 'cause every girl, IS, "crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man..." And Hans Gruber is one of the sharpest. If there's one thing this man understands, it's a power suit! Not sure if this is a John Phillips, London, however he does have two of those...
22.Roy Batty (Rutger Hauer), Blade Runner (1982)
I struggle calling Roy Batty a villain. Let's be honest, the replicants weren't really the bad guys, they were just the antagonists in Decker's story. After all, the replicants were created as slaves, but they craved freedom, just like anyone would, and there's nothing wrong with that. But, he simply had to make the list. Whether it's the peroxide blonde hair, the piercing blue eyes or the poetic monologue about life and death in the rain, Roy Batty has my heart (or my loins, not sure which). But hot damn, yes.
21.Borg Queen (Alice Krige), Star Trek: First Contact (1996)
You might be thinking, wow, she's really lost it now, but until you have seen the Borg Queen blow on Data's arm, you don't know what sensuality is! She is motherly yet seductive. She is authoritative yet coy. She creates order where there is chaos. The definition of MOTHER!
20.T-1000 (Robert Patrick), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
In a total polar opposite to Arnie's T-800 tank-like physique, Robert Patrick's T-1000 is a Porsche: sleek, fast, streamlined. He has the eyes of a hunter looking for prey, and I kinda wanna be that prey. Bonus: He can look like anyone he wants to, so you know, you can mix it up a bit!
19.Norman Stansfield (Gary Oldman), Leon: The Professional (1994)
Don't come for me. I know he's not a good guy. I know he a drug-fueled criminal...but its Gary Oldman, and this is a character, not a real person — give me a break! It's the cockiness, it's the absolute belief that he isn't doing anything wrong (or the complete disregard), it's the way he opens a beaded curtain. Yes he murdered a lot of people, but I'm not saying I want to marry him, jeez, let me live.
18.The Predator (Kevin Peter Hall), Predator (1988)
I've said it before and I will say it again. Built like an athlete, strong thighs, strong shoulders, killer "hair." = Babe. He could throw me around any day. The Predator can get it.
17.Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren), Rocky IV (1986)
Just stop for a second. Look at him....Did you see? You get it? Now we can move on.
16.Kara (Corinna Everson), Double Impact (1991)
This might be a bit of a pull for some of you. If you haven't seen Double Impact, you really should remedy that immediately — if not for Kara, then maybe for the fact that Van Damme plays twins, and some how one of the twins manages to act the other off the screen. But I digress. Kara awakens the bi-panic in me. If you have seen the film, you know the scene, and she can frisk me any day!
15.Dr. Elsa Schneider (Alison Doody), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
She seduced both Indiana Jones and Henry Jones Sr.
So, Harrison Ford and Sean Connery. Iconic. Legendary. Queen.
14.The Duke (Isaac Hayes), Escape From New York (1981)
The Duke's A-Number One! He has a disco ball inside his car and chandeliers for headlights. The man knows style, and has the power to back it up.
13.Chong Li (Bolo Yeung), Bloodsport (1988)
I am going to say this is more about Bolo Yeung than Chong Li, and if you don't know anything about Bolo, get ready to become obsessed. He began practicing martial arts at the age of 10. He traveled to Hong Kong by swimming there in the 1960s, in a mass exodus from his homeland of China. He was then noticed for his physique — the man's torso is 90% pectoral muscles, if we are being honest — and by the late '60s he was starting to make waves in Hong Kong cinema, eventually leading him to his friendship with Bruce Lee, and then JCVD. Bolo Yeung is an icon, and pretty fun to look at too.
12.Ivan The Russian (Jean-Claude Van Damme), No Retreat No Surrender (1985)
Its Jean-Claude Van Damme. The muscles from Brussels. Need I say more?
11.Shang Tsung (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa), Mortal Kombat (1995)
As a child, growing up in the '90s, Mortal Kombat was like a religion. Whether you had memorised the Blood Code for the Sega Mega Drive (A, B, A, C, A, B, B.) or were obsessed with Utah Saints (they did the Mortal Kombat movie theme), there's one thing you can't deny: while technically yes, he's totally, unforgivably evil, Shang Tsung IS A BADASS! Shang Tsung can get it.
10.Sergeant Andrew Scott (Dolph Lundgren), Universal Soldier (1992)
I know its Dolph again, but can you really blame me? Look at that face. Sure Sergeant Scott may have some baggage, but at least he knows how to accessorise!
9.May Day (Grace Jones), James Bond: A View To A Kill (1985)
Grace Jones is a GODDESS and you all need to remember that! May Day lifts a man fully above her head with ease and I think that's just superb, really. I still don't fully understand how the ethereal beauty of Grace Jones is real, but it is and she can do whatever she wants.
8.O-Ren Ishii (Lucy Liu), Kill Bill Vol 1 (2003)
Not many women can say they have had a biographical song wrote about them by the Wu-Tang wordsmith that is RZA, but O-Ren Ishii is one of those women. Delicate til the end, she showed that true power isn't about physical strength, its about determination...and swords, swords play a big part in it too.
7.Santanico Pandemonium (Salma Hayek), From Dusk Til Dawn (1996)
With a name like Santanico Pandemonium, you know you're in for a deliciously wicked treat. Salma Hayek is a queen, and you better bow to her, right now. Plus the snake! Britney Spears could never.
6.Drexel (Gary Oldman...again.), True Romance (1993)
I feel like you're all judging me, especially when it comes to my inclusion of Gary Oldman twice on this list, for possibly two of his most despicable roles. I don't know what it is about Drexel. It's not his profession, it's not his grill, it's probably not the dreads, and I kinda think he probably smells a little, but god damn I could just listen to him talk to me all day. It's bizarre, I know, but I think about him probably more than I should.
5.Alonzo Harris (Denzel Washington), Training Day (2001)
The "yes Daddy" vibes I get off this man are unpalpable. Strong, intelligent, wealthy...yes, he may be a corrupt person, but it's Denzel, what do you want from me, I am only human!
4.Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen), James Bond: GoldenEye (1995)
Xenia Onatopp can be Onatopp-of me any time she wants (sorry, is that too much?). Her method for making your lights go out is to crush you with her thighs, which she gets an almost...erotic...high from. I mean, we all have to die someday, and I think this is the way I want to go.
3.Bodhi (Patrick Swayze), Point Break (1991)
Patrick Swayze was the epitome of a heartthrob. If Dirty Dancing wasn't your thing, or you didn't like Ghost, then Bodhi in Point Break must do it for you. He embodied the all-out surfer mantra, while maintaining this sort of ~yogi aura.~ Perfectly balanced, while kinda chaotic. Perfection.
2.Madison Lee (Demi Moore), Charlie's Angels Full Throttle (2003)
Demi Moore...do I really need to say anything else? OK! Demi Moore in a bikini, heels, a fur coat and being an overall baddie...does it make sense yet? I probably didn't realise when I watched it, but something changed in me when I first saw Charlies Angels: Full Throtle. Sure, I could have gone for Justin Theroux as Seamus O'Grady, but he could never compare to Madison Lee!
1.And Simon Phoenix (Wesley Snipes), Demolition Man (1993)
I am going to be honest with you, every one of the 24 people prior to Simon Phoenix absolutely pales in comparison. Built? Check. Wild? Check. Pure chaos? Double Check. Absolute badass? Check x infinity + 1. I really do love a blonde.
So there you go, a deeply bizarre list of 25 villains I think are total baddies!
Don't forget me know in the comments down below if I forgot your favourite, or if you want to make me feel a little better about my choices in life...
