Son of a Nutcracker! 75+ Funny and Iconic Quotes from Your Favorite Christmas Movies
The holiday season is upon us! Aside from gathering with family and friends, the most wonderful time of the year also calls for bingeing Christmas classics and reciting funny and famous Christmas movie quotes. Home Alone, Elf and A Christmas Story are among the many holiday staples known for their memorable quotes.
Whether you need a caption for your festive Instagram snapshot, are looking for a little Christmas cheer courtesy of Buddy the Elf or could use a laugh from one of the Grinch's (relatable) one-liners—yes, we’re eating because we’re bored!—we've rounded up 75+ of the best Christmas movie quotes.
Elf
"You have such a pretty face. You should be on a Christmas card." —Buddy
"Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?" —Buddy
"I planned out our whole day. First we make snow angels for two hours, and then we’ll go ice skating, and then we’ll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookie Dough as fast as we can, and then to finish, we’ll snuggle." —Buddy
“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” –Buddy
“I am a cotton-headed ninny muggins!” –Buddy
“I just like to smile. Smiling’s my favorite.” –Buddy
“Son of a nutcracker!” –Buddy
“SANTA! Oh my God! Santa, here?! I know him! I know him!” –Buddy
“He’s an angry elf.” –Buddy
“You stink! You smell like beef and cheese, you don’t smell like Santa.” –Buddy
“This place reminds me of Santa’s Workshop. Except it smells like mushrooms and everyone looks like they want to hurt me.” –Buddy
Related: More Quotes from the Movie Elf
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
“No one should be alone on Christmas.” —Cindy Lou Who
“Now you listen to me, young lady! Even if we’re horribly mangled, there’ll be no sad faces on Christmas.” —The Grinch
“Holiday who-be what-ee?” —The Grinch
“Be it ever so heinous, there’s no place like home.” —The Grinch
“HELP ME…I’m FEELING.” —The Grinch
"I could use a little social interaction.” —The Grinch
“Am I just eating because I’m bored?” —The Grinch
“Cheer up, dude. It’s Christmas.” —The Grinch
"Maybe Christmas… perhaps… means a little bit more." —The Grinch
Related: More Quotes From How the Grinch Stole Christmas
A Christmas Story
“You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.” —Santa Claus
“I triple-dog-dare ya!” —Schwartz
“Nadafinga!” —Old Man Parker
“Fraa-jeel-aay! It must be Italian!” —Old Man Parker
“Oh my god, I shot my eye out!” —Ralphie Parker
“Meatloaf, smeatloaf, double beatloaf. I hate meatloaf.” —Randy Parker
"I can't put my arms down." —Randy Parker
"He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny.” —Old Man Parker
"Some men are Baptists, others Catholics; my father was an Oldsmobile man.” —Ralphie Parker
Related: More Quotes from A Christmas Story
Home Alone
"Keep the change, ya filthy animal." —Gangster Johnny
“Will you please tell Santa that instead of presents this year, I just want my family back.” –Kevin McCallister
“Guys, I’m eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me!” –Kevin McCallister
"Look what you did you little jerk.” –Uncle Frank
"You're what the French call 'les incompetents.'" –Linnie McCallister
"Buzz, your girlfriend. Woof!" –Kevin McCallister
"This house is so full of people it makes me sick. When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone." –Kevin McCallister
Related: More Quotes from Home Alone andHome Alone: Where Are They Now?
Jingle All the Way
"Put that cookie down!" –Howard Langston
"I'm not a pervert! I just was looking for Turbo Man doll!" –Howard Langston
"I'm gonna deck your halls, bub." —Santa Claus
"It's Turbo time!" —Howard Langston
The Santa Clause
"Just because you can't see something, doesn't mean it doesn't exist." —Charlie Calvin
"Down the chimney? You want me to take the toys down the chimney into a strange house, IN MY UNDERWEAR?" —Scott Calvin
"We're your worst nightmare. Elves with attitude." —E.L.F.S. Leader
Charlie: "Look! You're flying!"
Scott Calvin: "It's OK, I'm used to it. I lived through the '60s."
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! When I wake up, I'm getting a CAT scan!" —Scott Calvin
"I'm in big trouble." —Scott Calvin
Related: Christmas Movies on Disney+
Charlie: "What'd it feel like, Dad?"
Scott Calvin: "It felt like America's Most Wanted."
"Everybody likes Denny's, it's an American institution." —Scott Calvin
"You put on the suit, you're the big guy." —Bernard
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
"Looks great. Little full, lotta sap." —Clark Griswold
"Eat my rubber!" —Clark Griswold
"This isn't charity. It's family." —Clark Griswold
"Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?" —Clark Griswold
"I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas, and we're all in misery." —Ellen Griswold
"Worse?! How could they get any worse? Take a look around you, Ellen! We're at the threshold of hell!!" —Clark Griswold
"When Santa squeezes his fat white a*s down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse." —Clark Griswold
"Save the neck for me, Clark!" —Cousin Eddie
“Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?” —Clark Griswold
“I don’t want to spend the holidays dead!” —Ellen Griswold
“Think you might be overdoing it, Dad?” —Rusty Griswold
Related: More Quotes from Christmas Vacation
The Nightmare Before Christmas
"Just because I cannot see it, doesn't mean I can't believe it!" —Jack Skellington
Related: More Quotes from Nightmare Before Christmas
It's a Wonderful Life
"Remember, George: No man is a failure who has friends." —Clarence Odbody
“I’ll give you the moon, Mary.” —George Bailey
"Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings." —Zuzu Bailey
"Youth is wasted on the wrong people." —Man on the Porch
"I wish I had a million dollars...hot dog!" —George Bailey
Clarence: "No, we don't use money in Heaven."
George Bailey: "Oh yeah, that's right. I keep forgetting. Comes in pretty handy down here, bub!"
Related: 100+ Best Christmas Movies
Love Actually
“At Christmas, you tell the truth.” —Mark
“To me, you are perfect.” —Mark
“I realized that Christmas is the time to be with the people you love.” —Billy Mack
"If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that love, actually, is all around.” —David
Miracle on 34th
"I believe, I believe, it's silly, but I believe." —Susan Walker
"Christmas isn't just a day. It's a frame of mind." —Kris Kringle
"It's cold outside. A man's gotta do something to keep warm." —Drunk Santa
"Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to." —Fred Gailey
Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer
"What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a talking snowman before?" — Sam the Snowman
"A toy is never truly happy until it is loved by a child." —King Moonracer
A Christmas Carol
"God bless us everyone." —Tiny Tim
"It's all humbug, I tell you." —Ebenezer Scrooge
White Christmas
"If you’re worried and you can’t sleep, count your blessings instead of sheep. Then you’ll fall asleep counting your blessings.” —Bob Wallace
"In some ways, you’re far superior to my cocker spaniel." —Phil Davis
"When I figure out what that means, I'll come up with a crushing reply." —Bob Wallace
The Polar Express
"Just remember, the true spirit of Christmas lies in your heart." —Santa Claus
"The thing about trains... it doesn't matter where they're going. What matters is deciding to get on." —The Conductor
"Seeing is believing, but, sometimes, the most real things in the world are the things we can't see." —The Conductor
Related: 50 Best Christmas Movies for Kids
A Charlie Brown Christmas
"All I want is what I have coming to me. All I want is my fair share." —Sally Brown
"Please note the size and color of each item, and send as many as possible. If it seems too complicated, make it easy on yourself: just send money. How about tens and twenties?" —Sally Brown
"That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown." —Linus Van Pelt
"I just don't understand Christmas, I guess. I like getting presents and sending Christmas cards and decorating trees and all that, but I'm still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed." —Charlie Brown
"I never thought it was such a bad little tree. It's not bad at all, really. Maybe it just needs a little love." —Linus Van Pelt
The Holiday
"I'm looking for corny in my life." —Iris Simpkins
"It's Christmas Eve and we are going to celebrate being young and being alive." —Miles Dumont
Check out:
- 50 fun Christmas trivia questions
- 30 Christmas decorating ideas