Speed dating is making a comeback as Gen Z ditches dating apps. We shouldn't be surprised.
After her three-year relationship ended in 2023, 28-year-old executive assistant Kelly Carlson did as many young adults do: She downloaded a popular dating app to put herself out there again.
And, like many others, she found the experience disappointing. Feeling a lack of romance with the app, Carlson wanted to find a better way of meeting people. So, when she saw a flyer at a nearby California brewery advertising $35 for a night of speed dating, she figured she'd give it a try.
"I wanted to be excited about dating again," Carlson says. Speed dating is "almost like going back to the time when we were all in office a lot more and you have a work crush, or you're in school and you have a crush. You kind of get a sense of someone... instead of just looking at people online and you have no sense of who they are and how they really relate."
Carlson's not alone. Amid an epidemic of loneliness, speed dating is making a comeback, especially, experts say, among Gen Z and millennials who are experiencing dating app fatigue. Dating experts say speed dating is a great option for those looking to get off their phones and meet people who may shine more in person than they do online.
"I'm a fan of anything that is going to get you meeting more single, like-minded people who are looking for relationships," Blaine Anderson, a dating coach for men, says. "So, if that's speed dating, I am all about it."
Speed dating's popularity is booming, we shouldn't be surprised
Speed dating has surged in popularity over the past three years, according to Eventbrite, a global events marketplace where many speed-dating events are hosted.
The company saw a 63% surge in speed dating events from 2021 to 2022. According to data shared with USA TODAY, that trend seems to have continued, with the company reporting a 30% increase in singles and dating events in the United States from 2022 to 2023 and a 43% increase in attendance at these events over the same period.
Organizers for these events are also getting creative. Recent singles events on Eventbrite include board game speed dating, tantra speed dating, outdoor strolls for singles and singles karaoke. Game-based and athletic dating events also increased from 2022 to 2023.
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It makes sense people, particularly young adults, are gravitating toward speed dating, says Damona Hoffman, a dating coach and the author of "F the Fairy Tale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story." Because of COVID-19, many people moved most of their lives online. This is especially true for Gen Z, many of whom started dating just as the world shut down amid the pandemic.
"Many of them have never had that IRL dating experience really ever," Hoffman says. "So they kind of have this almost fantasy view of what it must have been like to meet someone at a bar or club or speed-dating event. It almost has this fantasy story around it that may not really exist in person when they get there, but the idea of it still feels fresh and new, and it's something different than what they've been doing the last four years."
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So are dating apps canceled? Not so fast
Despite growing enthusiasm for speed dating, dating apps continue to reign as one of the most popular ways daters meet. According to a 2023 Pew Research Center report, 1 in 10 partnered adults met their current significant other on a dating app or website. That figure is 1 in 5 for those under 30.
Still, that doesn't mean everyone's happy with dating apps. In that same report, 46% of people said their experiences using a dating app or website were very or somewhat negative.
Gen Z in particular seems less enthusiastic about online dating services. According to a 2023 Statista report, people between the ages of 30 and 49 make up 61% of online dating users, while people between 18 and 29 make up only 26%.
For Carlson, one of the biggest downsides to online dating is the amount of users who aren't honest about their intentions. In contrast to dating apps, speed dating often requires more money and effort to participate. Though that's likely to deter some daters from trying it, it also means those who do invest in speed dating are more likely to take it seriously, Hoffman says.
"If they're going to sign up for a speed-dating event, they're not just looking for likes and pen pals," Hoffman says. "They're actually wanting to make some sort of a connection."
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Andrea Ramirez, who hosts the Los Angeles speed-dating event Love in LA, says her event boasts an 80% match rate, meaning participants have an 80% chance of meeting someone there whom they want to see again. One pair who met at the event last March became engaged nine months later, she says.
"It used to be seen as this outdated method, and it was almost like a last resort that you would go to a speed dating event," Ramirez says. "Now, it's turning into a fun thing for girls to do together."
Meg Wray, 35, attended a speed dating event with her friends in Vancouver, Canada, last Thursday. She says the experience gave her an opportunity to consider people she may have otherwise passed on while online dating.
"I liked kind of the randomness of it all," Wray says. "Sometimes online I might overthink things a little bit. 'Is it a yes? Is it a no?' There's a lot of filters that we put people through before we actually make it to a date, and there wasn't a lot of filters on this (event)."
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Interested in speed dating? Here are some tips
Experts offer the following tips for those looking to speed date:
? Show up as you would on a normal date: That means looking your best and doing any pre-date rituals to feel your best, Anderson says.
? Keep the conversation interesting: Speed dates are short, so ask interesting questions. Otherwise, it can feel like a series of interviews, Hoffman says.
? Treat it as practice: Speed dating draws on a lot of skills most people who are used to online dating don't get to practice often. Like anything else, know speed dating takes time to get good at and don't put too much pressure on yourself, Hoffman says.
Carlson says she ended up matching with someone "really nice" at the speed dating event she went to. The two haven't scheduled a second date yet, but she thinks she might see him sometime within the next week.
Carlson encourages fellow singles to give speed dating a try. After all, what's the worst that could happen?
"You only have such a short amount of time," she says, "so, even if it goes terribly, you're only with that person for about five minutes."
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Speed dating is making a comeback. Is Gen Z done with dating apps?
