Humor: A 12-step program for notebook addicts

Welcome to Notebook Addicts Anonymous! We're here to help you stop buying fancy notebooks on a whim. We know you are all writers or dream of being one. But hoarding notebooks isn't the way. To succeed, we want you to follow these twelve steps. Only then will you be free. Or not. It depends if you're a lost cause. Which most of you probably are. Let's get started!

Step 1: Admit you have a problem.

Step 2: Write out all the reasons you crave new notebooks.

Step 3: Stop yourself from buying a new notebook to write those reasons.

Step 4: Okay, acknowledge your weakness after you purchased a new notebook during a program designed to prevent such purchases.

Step 5: Take a hard look in the mirror. Write what you see in one of your notebooks. It doesn't matter what you write. We simply need you to use that notebook so it doesn't have power over you.

Step 6: View your room and shame and contemplate the answer to the question, "WHY DID YOU BUY A NEW NOTEBOOK FOR THIS EXERCISE?"

Step 7: Understand it is silly to buy a sketchbook for the sole purpose of drawing what you see in the mirror. Stop telling the instructor and other people in this program about paper thickness. That is not the point.

Step 8: For the love of God, don't explain the difference between sketchbooks and notebooks. Don't you dare read those Reddit threads out loud.

Step 9: Go onto your Pinterest boards and delete everything that features art supplies, bullet journal spreads, or Moleskin porn. No, you don't need them for inspiration. You need an accountant to explain what a bad investment you've made.

Step 10: Go through all your empty notebooks at home/officer/school. Get rid of two-thirds of them. Or even one-third. How about just one?

Step 11: Stop trying to hide your sketchbooks in different locations so you can "forget" about them.

Step 12: You will likely quit now while shouting that you plan to write about how horrible this 12-step program was. And yes, I'm sure you have the perfect notebook to use.