Humor: Five monsters that are more silly than scary

What was considered scary in the past can be downright funny in modern times. However, some creatures from history are so strange that they deserve to be more well-known.

Kasa-Obake

You might think this monster looks like a broken umbrella. And you would be absolutely right. That's because this is a Kasa-Obake, and it is basically a trashed umbrella that has come to life. You thought you were trash because you like cheese from those plastic cracker racks over nicer Parmesan? Well, let me tell you about this variation of the Tsukumogami, a breed of Japanese demon born out of items tossed aside that didn't get any respect. They can be nearly anything. Some can get downright violent. Think of all the ways you trash-talked your microwave before throwing it away. Now imagine what it would do if it came back from the dump.

For some fortunate reason, the Kasa-Obake is not overly vengeful. The most harmful thing it does is follow people around and lick them. Super evil, right?

Alp

The Alps aren't just mountains. They are also tiny little vampires that haunt homes in Germany. They can go invisible, cause devastation, and like all vampires, suck out your life energy. Blood too. One thing that separates it from other vampires is its weakness. They wear silly caps. The style differs in each rendering, but one thing is inevitable throughout the mythos. Without that hat, they are powerless. Put your fan setting on "high" if it enters your room. It might blow the cap off during the attack, allowing you to escape.

Squonk

The squonk is a monster unlike any other, mainly because it's not a monster in the usual sense. It doesn't cause damage, eat people, protect, bring bad luck, or do any other cool mythological creature thing. Found in only one place, the forests of Pennsylvania, the squonk is an ugly monster who cries—a lot. And that's it.

How often does it cry? All the time. It cries because it is ugly. In fact, it cries so much that its entire life is being born, realizing it is ugly, and then crying until it dissolves into a messy, weepy puddle—kind of like if you felt like you did in middle school but forever until you died.

I'm unsure how or why an old-timey logger created this monster, but one thing is for sure: Several girls back in the day were probably called squonks during their formative years because of it.

Eloko

Forests are ripe for monsters. Often, the foresters let the rest of the world know of their existence. The eloko is just another among the get-the-hell-out-of-my-forest variety. Hailing from the Congo, they live in forests and eat those who trespass. Their bodies are covered in the leaves that make up the trees, so you won't see them until it's too late. You'll only hear them. Elokos emit a bell's ringing sound if they are nearby and about to attack. Unless they just really enjoy playing bell music, in which case I'm sure no other eloko likes them.

So, if it sounds like a bunch of people are walking into a convenience store while you are preparing to chop down a tree in the forest, run! More than likely, this was a creature designed to make people think twice before wasting resources. Not to mention, you can never have too many mythical forest monsters in stories for children. They help keep kids away from the forest so real animals wouldn't eat them. I like to think that the adults took turns pretending to be elokos as the townsfolk did in The Village.

Shurale

The shurale is an immense European monster with a horn on its head and long fingers that it uses to catch its prey. Oh, and to tickle them…TO DEATH! Yeah, no, really, the shurale kills its victims by extreme tickling. Being ticklish, I sometimes scream, "Stop, I'm gonna die," when people tickle me. Because of this, it's not hard to believe that someone with a similar weakness manifested this monster into existence during one scary story contest.