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Men's Health

This Super Dark 'Toy Story' Theory Will Wreck Your Childhood

Ian Sandwell
3 min read
This Super Dark 'Toy Story' Theory Will Wreck Your Childhood

Over the years, the Toy Story franchise has been subject to all manner of fan theories, from how the toys are actually living creatures to Andy's mother being the real villain.

Lightyear is bringing the series back to the big screen, but since the concept is that it's a movie within the Toy Story universe, you won't find any answers to fan theories or mysteries.

It did get us thinking about the dark fan theories we've heard over the years, including the time that Toy Story 4 director Josh Cooley told what might just be the darkest theory we've ever heard.

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Seriously, if you don't want your childhood ruined, maybe it's best you stop reading.

Photo credit: Pixar - Disney
Photo credit: Pixar - Disney

Still with us? Don't say we didn't warn you.

So Cooley wasn't taking credit for this theory, but when we asked him about the idea that the toys are immortal, he had this response: "I heard somebody say these toys are vampires and instead of blood, they live off the joy of children."

That's right. Woody, Buzz, Jessie and more are actual vampires who are DRAINING CHILDREN OF THEIR JOY.

Photo credit: Disney/Pixar
Photo credit: Disney/Pixar

Sure, Cooley noted that it's a "horrible way to think of it" and had a nicer response. "I'm going to say something extremely cheesy: as long as there's children's love in the world, toys will always be alive," he added.

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But the problem is that once you put that idea in our mind, it's really hard to shake off.

Maybe that's why Molly got rid of Bo Peep all those years ago, because she felt that Bo Peep and her sheep were feeding off her joy. And maybe that's why Sid was so mean to all of the toys – because he KNEW THE TRUTH.

Yeah we said it, maybe Sid is actually the hero of Toy Story.

Photo credit: Disney
Photo credit: Disney

Of course, this (probably) isn't a thing, but the alternative, that toys can actually die, could be pretty horrifying as well.

If you're looking for Toy Story 4 co-producer Jonas Rivera to lighten the mood, he looks at the toys' lifespan in a more heartwarming way – but still doesn't really know whether they are immortal or not.

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"Basically, the analogy is their parents, they're alive as long as they need to be to make their kid happy. But obviously, there's toys in antiques stores that are alive that have never had that," he reflected.

Are we overthinking this? Almost definitely.

Does that mean we shouldn't think about the fact Woody and Buzz are joy vampires? Of course not.

Better keep a close eye on any childhood toys you've got hanging around your house...

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