'Survivor 45's Kellie Nalbandian Reveals Her Plan to Steal Bruce's Idol

Kellie Nalbandian

Survivor 45 is here! Every week, Parade.com's Mike Bloom will bring you interviews with the castaway most recently voted off of the island.

Kellie Nalbandian entered Survivor 45 with a smile on her face and a dagger behind her back. Throughout her time on the island, the critical care nurse showed that her work had made her a master at thinking on her feet and connecting with people in a vulnerable space. But the primary danger of holding a knife behind your back: It opens it up right to be stabbed. After both her "number one" ally and option Bruce Perreault won immunity, Kellie thought Jake O'Kane would be the easy consensus. And, while Belo blood was spilled, it was her own. Seeing her as a bigger threat, the Reba majority blindsided Kellie. She was left as gutted as a bag of rice after Jeff Probst stabbed it, in a state of pure shock and dismay.

When Kellie started the game on Belo, the stars immediately aligned for an alliance between the women. But simultaneously, she was also building tight bonds with the men. And so, quickly, Kellie found herself in what would become a familiar position: The middle. Fortunately, she never needed to show her hand, as she avoided Tribal Council throughout the premerge. Unfortunately, that gave her plenty of time with Bruce. As the game went along, the returning player had worn out his welcome, as his personality was grinding the gears of everyone on the beach. Regardless, he still considered Kellie his number one. So, to her chagrin, she decided to keep him close, putting the kibosh on the chance to flip on him at the split Tribal Council. When Kellie vocalized Bruce would be the end of her game, she didn't realize how right she was.

Kellie left the first Survivor auction in 15 seasons on cloud nine. A twist on the previous staple had left Bruce without a vote, and with everyone targeting him, it would lead to an outcome as sweet and refreshing as a margarita on a hot Fijian day. But those plans were smashed like a pelican statue when Bruce won immunity. With the tribe scrambling, Jake became the next in line after his big move last round had backfired. But while Belo was on the same page, Reba had other plans. Drew Basile was saying, "I see you" to the ICU nurse, feeling she was a much bigger fish than Jake. And so he helped organize the biggest blindside of the season. Jake threw everything at the wall at Tribal Council, only for nothing to seemingly stick. But an averted "dogpile" vote made him the cat with nine lives. The Belos were left stunned when everyone else voted out Kellie. Almost catatonic, she tried to reconcile who betrayed her as she watched her game flatline before her eyes.

Now out of the game, Kellie talks with Parade.com about her emotional reaction to her exit, who would have gone home had she gone to Tribal Council premerge, and a rock draw we didn't get to see at the auction.

Related: Read our Survivor 45 pre-game interview with Kellie Nalbandian

How are you doing right now, Kellie?
I'm better. I'm better seeing you wearing your Kellie shirt. I'm sorry, Mike. I'm sorry. I know I was your winner pick.

Don't apologize at all! And, like you told me in the preseason, if you had to go out, you'd rather it be a bang than a whimper. 
Oh, that's the first thing I thought about when I left the game. I was like, "I really cursed myself." [Laughs.] I was like, "I'm gonna leave. It's gonna be a big thing." I mean, I don't think I would be as sad as I was. But that's the pure shock and devastation. That's exactly how I felt. And for me, if I watch people play Survivor, and they leave, and they're like, "Oh, good job," that's never gonna be me. I'm very competitive.

I mean, devastation is putting it mildly. There was this mixture we saw from you of obvious shock from your boot, anger at those who betrayed you, disappointment, and inquisitiveness trying to figure out who made the move. Talk me through everything you were experiencing in real-time during that incredibly heightened moment.
I mean, obviously, the thing was a little bit longer than what makes it on the air. I felt so slighted by Emily, whom I love. But I'd been trying to work with her, honestly, over the last couple of votes. She and I had actually spent a lot of time working together. We really tried to save Kaleb on the Shot in the Dark night. We were clearly on the same page when we sort of lost everybody. We're like, "Dammit, we're actually gonna have to vote him out." You see her warn him. I basically say, "Not looking good, buddy." So we had worked with her there. We had been on the same page on this 6-6 split. And she still was that middleman. So I was like, "You did this Emily?" I remember saying that.

And then, honestly, I really blacked out a lot. I actually did not remember saying, "What the hell, guys?" Kaleb had to tell me that several days later. [Laughs.] I was like, "Wait, what? That's what I said?" But that's now my iconic line. Obviously, I was shocked. You can see I kind of go through all the stages of grief within a minute. Kendra's crying and it's very somber. But then Jake's like, "Whoa!" Because he's just also so caught off guard. It was really like a Shakespearean moment when I look at it.

Well let's talk about someone very important to your Shakespearean story in King Bruce. If he had a vote, the Belos could have all voted together to make it 5-5. But Katurah just avoided going to rocks, and you talk about working with Emily. What do you think would have happened if Bruce had his vote, but was still immune?
I mean, I will say I think Bruce losing his vote is an absolute nail in the coffin for me or Jake, whoever it was gonna be. I did not see that coming from the auction. And I really kept Bruce around for this reason, so that I would have his vote. And then, when I need him the most, he's not there. [Laughs.] But I think my plan trying to save Jake was I talked to Emily and Kendra when we first got back from the challenge and the name that Emily and Kendra threw out immediately was Dee. Which is actually not my ideal person to take out. She and I have a very unseen but good relationship together. We just kind of vibe. I just like her, and people could see that. But it was also definitely a conversation around who were the female threats, and it was definitely me and her after the poles. So we sort of had this like, "Okay, we're going to protect each other because it's good for both of our games" conversations going on.

But, at this point I was like I'm already on my back heels very much so, so this is a name that I'm gonna go with it. And that's what Emily wanted. I think we can kind of understand why she may want to take Dee out at this moment. So that's that conversation with Jake trying to get him to not play the Shot in the Dark is. We needed his vote because we didn't have it. So if we did have Bruce's vote I think it's a lot easier to convince Emily to vote with us. Because she's a financial analyst, right? She's looking at the numbers, and the math is not working. I only really have, at the end of the day, three votes: Me, Kendra, and Katurah. Because Jake is definitely playing his Shot in the Dark.

I think a little bit of what's missed is, when we came back from the 6-6 split, Mama J was mad. She was not happy with Jake. You saw Kaleb call Dee and Julie and J out at Tribal Council and they're like, we're getting, "Kaleb." And now Jake, he's trying to go to rocks to save Kaleb. They're like, "We're getting Jake." So I mean good on them. But that would have been the plan, to try to flip the script. I think I would have tried to push for Austin a little bit. But because I already had lost votes. I kind of was like, "I need to go with the name that Emily wants. Because, unfortunately, we need her."

Let's talk about Austin, and the impactful sandwiches choice. We heard you say when you chose the amulets that this may be your only chance to get an advantage in the game. What made you decide to side with J, and were you aware of how much Austin held that choice against you?
I definitely didn't know how angry he was. I don't think anyone would have known that. He's a hungry man. But my decision-making process on the amulet was, we have a long walk up. It was pretty evident that Austin and J were not working together or seeing eye to eye. I mean, obviously, they want completely different things on this decision. So for me, I'm coming from my fractured group. And I'm looking at Reba and I'm like, "Well, maybe this whole experience of not going to Tribal Council, having this built-up tension with people is also in this Reba group". Because J is telling us about this previous Tribal where Dee's name is thrown out and Sifu gets brought up and "who voted Sifu?" I was like, "Okay, so maybe there is a fracture within this Reba alliance, just like there is in Belo."

And I think we've seen a lot in the new era, it's very hard to have the original tribes stay together, go to the merge, and move forward. A lot of times a cross-tribal alliance is going to form. And I was already beginning to lose some confidence in my ability to herd these cats together. There was just so much animosity between Bruce and other players that it's difficult to hold together. So when I go to see the amulet journey, I really was torn. I definitely recognize the risk. But Austin and I had a conversation on the top of the mountain basically being like, "The way I see the game now is that these traditional threats don't win Survivor anymore." It's someone like Gabler or Maryanne, it's not like Austin with the big muscles. So I feel motivated to protect other threats, because I knew that I was being called a threat.

And so that was kind of how I think the needle moved, and we all just sort of came to a decision. I think Austin also didn't want to be pushing too hard for something. So it was a long talk that got us there. But honestly, I really, truly thought that Austin would be targeted early merge for being a huge guy and I wouldn't even have to throw his name out there. And then I can either work with J. Maya or take her out if I needed to. I felt pretty confident about either doing either of those things. I mean, Austin was way more insulated than I knew.

You talk about how tribal cohesion really isn't a thing in the endgame in the new era. Had you survived that vote and Jake went home, what was your endgame plan? You obviously were tight with Bruce, Kendra, and Katurah. But you also just mentioned in this interview you were working with Emily and looking out for Dee and Austin.
I mean, it was hard to look too forward for me at that point, just because I really was caught off guard with Bruce losing his vote and Jake, that whole situation. It got to a point for me that day where  I really tried hard to save Jake. We had multiple conversations. Once he sort of like relaxed a little bit from all the idol searching, we did have a long conversation on the beach. [I was like], "We have to get Emily. This is better odds than one in six." Unfortunately it was pretty clear to Jake that Emily was not going to do that, and then he was just definitely going to play a Shot in the Dark.

But my plan moving forward was, if Jake left, I knew that this Belo group was not going to work anymore. I really wanted to steal Bruce's idol. This was my big plan. Bruce told me that he was nervous about Knowledge is Power. So I was considering weaponizing that against him and being like, "Hey, I heard that Dee has Knowledge is Power. She's going to take your idol." And Bruce told mee that he would not give it to Jake. He would have given it to me to hold onto. I was his number one out there; he trusted me the most.

And then I'm gonna do what I want from there with it. I can have everyone dogpile the votes on Bruce, and I can save him and take out Austin. I could let Bruce go home and keep the idol for myself. So I was sort of sussing out what I wanted to do. But I definitely wanted to move forward with Kendra. That was someone who I did not want to lose. Obviously, she cried for me. What a real ally! That's the kind of ally you want. So I wanted to move forward with Kendra. I did want to move forward with Katurah as much as possible. And that's partially why I was like, "If I take out Bruce, maybe me, Kendra, and Katurah can really be this solid three that we kind of had dreams of being at the beginning of the game." And then I wanted to take a threat or two with me far in the game and then cut them at five.

You mentioned in last night's episode that Bruce didn't realize how lucky he was to still be in the game. From talking with Brando, it seemed like if old Belo ever went to Tribal Council, he'd be gone. The edit seemed to show if new Lulu ever went to Tribal Council, he'd be gone. And it seemed like you and Kendra were contemplating getting rid of him last round. Was he truly on that razor's edge of getting voted out as much as the edit showed?
I do think so. I think the first vote, if we had gone immediately, probably Jake would have gone, not Bruce, just because of how things were shaking out at the moment. But once me and Brando kind of got caught in the middle...I really had no option but to play the middle. I didn't initiate any alliance besides one with Kendra early on. Everyone came to me and I'm like, "Dude 'Im not gonna say no!" So I was kind of stuck in this position. So the way Brando and I were looking at the game at the moment was, if we went to Tribal more than once, how will we both survive? Because that was my priority. I really did love working with Brando, and losing him at Kaleb at those two Tribal Councils was crushing for my game. Those are my two best strategic allies.

But we looked at it and thought, if we went to Tribal more than once, if we vote with the boys, it's more likely that they would turn on one of us beforehand than we felt with the girls, especially myself. Kendra and Katurah had expressed a little bit of nervousness about Brando working with the guys. So I felt like they were more looking at him. So we would vote with the girls, and worst case scenario, Brando goes home, not me. The other thing was, with Bruce, if you go against Bruce at a vote, even if it's not him--say we're voting out Jake--Bruce is going to be very mad. If we blindside Bruce with a vote, he's not going to work with us moving forward. But if we take Bruce out and Jake is still there, I think Jake would be like, "Alright, game's game. Let's figure out what we're going to do."

I do think that pretty much every Tribal from two to five, Bruce would have gone home for sure. Me and Kaleb also had the same discussion. Right before the Immunity Challenge, we had a big conversation with Katurah. And, after that, I looked at Kaleb and I was like, "That's what I want to do." And I think not going to Tribal Council really hurt me, honestly. It was a detriment to everybody who didn't. It's hard to build trust when you don't have something you're doing. And I think it could have really brought Katurah over to me and Kaleb's side if we were able to get out Bruce. So it's hard. You don't ever want to throw a challenge, right? It's a hard thing. But that was a thought that Kaleb and I had. And, sometimes, I wish we did that.

You got to participate in the first Survivor auction in 15 seasons. What was that like, and was there anything we missed out on from the day itself?
I was very surprised this didn't make [the edit]. But basically, going into the auction, me and Emily had no food. We were so hungry. So everybody was like, "Emily and Kellie are eating." Because they're going to the merge feast, they're getting tacos. I have hung on so long and still didn't get to eat. So that was definitely a group thing. And I really wanted french fries. Me and Emily had been speaking about burgers and fries. And I saw the french fries. I was like, "Oh my God, I need those." And so I felt it was a moment where we both wanted the same thing. We had a similar amount of money. And instead of our bidding, we went to rocks. We're like, "Alright, we're both gonna put 500. We're gonna go up, and we're gonna pull a rock." And I happened to pull the green rock, and so I got to eat the french fries.

Now I kind of wish I just bid all my money. I think that's definitely the strategy for the auction if it ever comes back. But it was absolutely a joy to participate in the auction. Obviously, I think Bruce losing his vote was so bad for my game. I'm not thrilled about that part of the auction. But I think bringing it back was so much fun. Running through the jungle was so much fun, sort of getting permission to fake search for idols. It was great. And I feel like I won the auction! I got the most food. People are really upset if I didn't eat my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I did finish the margarita. That was my priority, finishing the margarita. I really needed a drink out there, you know what I mean? That's a lot of time, exhaustingly lying. So I finished that, and then Jeff did give me some time to try to finish the sandwich. But your stomachs are so small. I just ate an entire plate of french fries. I couldn't eat it. I just couldn't do it. It was hurting.

Next, check out our interview with Kaleb Gebrewold, who was voted out in Survivor 45 Episode 7.