I Tested The Viral Pore Vacuum That’s All Over Instagram
Fact: There are many ~toys~ an editor at Cosmopolitan could theoretically bring home to use with their partner. Unfortunately for my boyfriend, the toy I chose to bring home this week was a pore vacuum—a suction-y device that’s gone viral on Instagram over the years for sucking the gunk out of blackheads in seconds. Sound too good to be true? Exactly.
So to find out whether pore vacuums really work, I decided to test one out on my sweet, sweet boyfriend (so sweet! so pure!), whose blackhead-speckled nose has been the bane of my existence for six years and will eventually lead to our inevitable divorce in 2045. Keep reading to find out if the vacuum actually got rid of his sins and prevented a broken home or if we just argued in the bathroom at 11 p.m. on Sunday night for nothing!
What does a pore vacuum do?
For once, the name of this beauty tool isn’t confusing—it does exactly what it says: vacuums your pores. At least, in theory. You just turn on the device, stick the circular tip on your skin, then slowly slide it over your pores, watching the junk get abducted from your blackheads like a dreamy nightmare.
Although some pore vacuums are decked out with microdermabrasion capabilities or sold with prep serums and treatments, I used the basic, classic model for this experiment—specifically, the highest-rated pore vacuum on Amazon, with more than 1,400 reviews and the low-ish price of $24. I figured, hey, if it doesn’t work, at least I’m not out too much money, right? Still, if you want something fancier, the internet giveth:
Testing the pore vacuum:
?? THE PREP ??
After alerting sweet, sweet boyfriend (SSB) of my plan for his blackheads, I did a little prep work ahead of the purge. “The loosening of debris in your pores with some steam or a shower is a good first step before extractions,” says Arash Akhavan, MD, dermatologist and founder of The Dermatology and Laser Group in NYC.
Seeing as SSB refused to re-shower or willingly participate, I held a warm washcloth over his nose for five minutes to help soften the top layer of his skin (not, mind you, to “open” his pores, which is fully a myth. “You can’t ‘open’ or ‘close’ your pores,” says Dr. Akhavan. “That’s not how they work.” Feel free to alert your ex–high school friend turned Facebook skincare consultant).
?? THE SUCTIONING ??
Although every device may be different, my Lonove vacuum has five levels of suctioning intensity, ranging from a butterfly kiss (level one) to a high school hickey suck (level five). Starting on level two, I gently moved the vacuum along the sides and creases of his nose (the instructions warn against keeping the suction in one place for more than three seconds, so you wanna move relatively quickly) and…nothing happened.
So I cranked it up to three—which promptly caused a not-so-sweet string of “f*ck!”s—and watched as one tiny blackhead was sucked out and up. It was freaking magical. Truly, a rush. Inspired, I continued suctioning his nose for roughly five minutes, going back and forth over each spot and trying level four for one millisecond (it almost ended our relationship). By the end, I had managed to extract three blackheads. That’s it. In a sea of darkness, we barely made a dent. At one point, the tool was so tightly stuck to his skin (on level two! the baby level!) that when I tried to lift it from his nose, it traveled down to his mouth, sucking up his lip as I tried to pry it off, like a stray iPhone charger in a vacuum.
?? THE AFTERMATH ??
We eventually admitted defeat—or more accurately, my boyfriend stood up and declared “I’m out; I’m done” after his skin grew sore from the suctioning. His nose was red, there was a bright-red line from his nose to his lip where we had lost control, and his pores looked virtually the same. Thankfully, the redness dissipated after 45 minutes, but my DEEP, HEART-WRENCHING disappointment has yet to fade.
So do pore vacuums really work?
If we’re going off my dude and my disappointment, then no—pore vacuums don’t really work. Or not as effectively as you’d want. But it’s also not really a fair question, because no matter what, pore vacuums won’t give you the results you’re actually hoping for (and can actually cause some damage, but more on that below).
“What you’re really doing with a pore vacuum is very superficially removing any dead skin, makeup, and oils from the surface of your pores, which you can also do by cleansing very well,” says Dr. Akhavan. And even if you do suck out a significant amount of gunk, those semi-empty pores will just fill back up within a few days—if not sooner. “Your pores don’t close up once you remove the debris from them,” he says. “They continue to stay open and fill back up, which means at best, you’re seeing a very temporary fix and some psychological satisfaction.”
Are pore vacuums bad for your skin?
If up to this point, you’ve been wondering why I sacrificed my sweet prince boyfriend’s nose instead of my own, it’s because of this: “The biggest side effect you’re likely to see from pore vacuums is bruising and broken capillaries,” says Dr. Akhavan. As someone who gets broken blood vessels from sneezing, there’s no way I was about to test this on my ultra-sensitive baby face and risk getting permanent side effects (only a laser can remove broken capillaries).
The bottom line:
For the majority of people who don’t have sensitive skin, rosacea, keratosis pilaris, or a boyfriend, using a pore vacuum is probably fine. Is it going to revolutionize your skincare game? Definitely not. Is it going to ruin your skin? Most likely not. But honestly, why risk it when there are so many other tried-and-true blackhead treatments (like acids! all the yummy acids!) that won’t possibly leave you with broken capillaries? Either way, you do you, but if you’re looking for gentler, more effective options, try one of these instead:
You Might Also Like