TikTok’s Solo Dating Trend Is a Masterclass On Self-Love, & We’re Fully On Board
In today’s hellscape of a dating culture, the idea of going on a date can be terrifying. Not only is there a literal flirting crisis, but the the chances of being ghosted are so common that it’s no wonder young people are experiencing dating app burnout. The good news is going out on a date doesn’t have to be a messy episode of Love Island, and it can (and should!) be enjoyable. Dating can be a solo affair, and more women are catching on to the idea and documenting it all on social media.
The girls are in their solo date era, and I’m here for it. As an introvert and strong adherent to JOMO (Joy of Missing Out), I couldn’t be more happy that more people are prioritizing quality alone time. We live in an increasingly fast-paced society, so unfortunately, burnout and exhaustion are more common than ever. As someone with goals of finding the perfect work-life balance, setting aside intentional time for a weekly solo date is how I’ve managed to stay afloat amidst all the chaos. Simply put, solo dates allow me to put my life on pause, relax, and enjoy my own company. Plus, from my experience, there’s nothing quite like hitting the town (enjoying a quiet evening at the hybrid bookstore-coffee shop) by yourself.
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Solo dates are about prioritizing the relationship you have with yourself
At a hotel bar in Philadelphia, one woman recorded herself sipping a cocktail while holding her book at a restaurant table. “I went out to dinner by myself for the first time ever and now I understand why people do this,” Tiffany Elizabeth said in her TikTok. “It was so relaxing to sit in my own peace and silence, just reading my book and having a nice meal. No one else was really around to bother me and somehow it wasn’t uncomfortable.”
It’s no secret there’s been a cultural shift towards valuing independence and self-discovery. In 2023, the number of Google searches for ‘solo travel,’ was double the amount in 2018, according to Bokun, a TripAdvisor company. And within the last year on women’s Reddit pages, hundreds of people have asked about potential ideas for a solo date.
Related: 30 Actually Creative Date Ideas To Try This Year
For most people, the reason for spending intentional time alone is for their own personal development. Daisy Lucero, @dazeofmylife explained her rationale in her TikTok. “I’ve been going on 100 days of solo dates in order to help my confidence, heal, and discover who I am as a person,” the text of her video reads.
Doing things alone will make you more appreciative
Interestingly, there is actual science-backed evidence to support the advantages of spending time alone. People can benefit from increased productivity, creativity, and empathy. Plus, alone time allows for genuine self-discovery.
According to Marketing professor Rebecca Ratner of the University of Maryland, “People overestimate the benefits of being with someone else.” When people do things alone, they enjoy themselves more than they expected,” she explained in her article Inhibited from Bowling Alone.
Unfortunately, there’s a stigma associated with solo activities, so the concept of doing something alone may not be everyone’s cup of tea. We completely get the hesitation. The idea of sitting by yourself at dinner, surrounded by people who are, well, not alone, can be completely daunting. Trust us, you aren’t the only one to feel this way. It seems like most people who tried a solo date for the first time shared a similar fear.
“I think that’s what I was mainly worried about; that I’d be missing company or that I’d feel like I’d wanna be on my phone all the time to have company,” Tiffany Elizabeth explained in her TikTok. “But [doing] this really made me appreciate my peace. Just sitting here alone, no one looked at me weird.”
And of course, a solo date doesn’t have to entail just going out to dinner. Those interested in the arts can consider going to a museum, movie theater, or ceramics class. Those who live close to nature can enjoy going to the beach or taking a hike. The most important criteria for a solo date are opportunities for relaxation, reflection, and exploration. So, make sure that whatever activity you choose, turn your phone on Do Not Disturb, and bring a physical notebook and pen to journal.
Related: 31 Free Date Ideas You’ll Actually Want To Try
If you still aren’t sold on a solo date, consider that you simply don’t have to worry about other people. As one woman @klaquan pointed out in her TikTok, “You can do so much more stuff when you are by yourself. You want a 10/10, top of the line, elite experience doing something? Do it alone. It is so much harder to do stuff when you have someone else with you.” “As a girlie that goes on solo dates, trips, nights out etc ALONE…. This is a tested fact,” her video reads.
So, no more waiting around for romantic partners to do things, or asking ourselves if someone is “gonna match my freak”. Whoever said “two’s a crowd, three’s a party,” was most definitely wrong, because a table for one is most definitely where it’s at.
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