‘A time to talk’ and ‘the human touch’

I have written several columns about friendships over the years, so apparently that must be a "subject" dear to my heart.

There is also a sad memory that remains, where this fine lady was having a difficult time in life, and she called out the name of someone very close to her being, but that person, aware of her situation, never came to visit.

Often, I am reminded of Robert Frost’s short poem about friendship simply titled, "A Time to Talk;" Frost sums up what a true friend should really do in that situation above:

"‘When a friend calls to me from the road

And slows his horse to a meaning walk,

I don’t stand still and look around

On all the hills I haven’t hoed,

And shout from where I am, What is it?

I thrust my hoe in the mellow ground,

Blade-end up and five feet tall,

And plod: I go up to the stone wall

For a friendly visit."

Have you ever been in a situation like Frost describes; you are busy in life, or performing your chores, and exhausting your energies on a task that needs done and a friend calls your name.

Are you too busy to stop what you’re doing to respond in a pleasant and friendly way, or do you plow ahead with your task at hand and avoid connecting with your friend?

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That behavior of a "friend" is a most important commodity in one’s walk down this long path of life, especially for those who might need a hug or a simple friendly touch one day.

From some old readings of Aristotle’s "Nicomachean Ethics" at Mount Saint Mary’s college, I am reminded of the Philosopher’s recordings about friendship.

Aristotle and many other ancient philosophers thought "friendship" to be a most important virtue. It was a vital element to a fulfilling life.

“For without friends,” Aristotle concluded that "no one would choose to live; though he had all other goods, for goods are all perishable."

I know more than a few people who don’t seem to have time for friendships. Many of society’s workers place wealth and riches above personal relationships. It is doubtful that they have taken time like Frost in his poem to park his horse and plow to have a conversation with someone more meaningful to him then work and chores.

I also read an interesting book some years ago about one Eugene O’Kelly, who was "Chasing Daylight." It is a story about a well to do prominent man at age 53 who was preparing for retirement; he had all his plans for a good retirement in order but unfortunately, fate would not be so kind.

O’Kelly would soon be diagnosed with "brain cancer" and given three months to live. A major theme of the book suggests that — People spend so much time building wealth and creating material successes that their personal relationships become secondary.

I have often thought that when one approaches a dilemma like O’Kelly, those priorities in life will change.

The "material things" are now perishable, they have little meaning; the most important things left for many at the end of one’s life is a relationship with their God, and those family and friends that mean so much to them.

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And there is another aspect of a true and lasting friendship that is equally important, and that is the "human touch."

Spencer Michael Free, captured this thought in a poem simply titled, "The Human Touch":

" ‘Tis the human touch in this world that counts,

The touch of your hand and mine,

Which means far more to the fainting heart

Then shelter and bread and wine,

For shelter is gone when the night is o’er,

And bread lasts only a day,

But the touch of the hand and the sound of the voice

Sing on in the soul alway."

In too many situations to count, I have been present when the last breath of a loved one or a dear friend has left their body and gone into the ether; I am always reminded of Free’s poem and that focused aspect of the human touch, and I remember to hold a hand, rub a brow or stroke gently an arm.

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I truly believe that "human touch" provides a "peace and comfort" like no other, a "lasting tranquility" as one leaves this realm for the next.

And I have also discovered that if that human touch of friendship is so important as our life concludes, I’d say it must be equally so to remember along this path of life.

And a hug given is a hug received.

Peace to you.

Pete Waters is a Sharpsburg resident who writes for The Herald-Mail.

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This article originally appeared on The Herald-Mail: ‘A time to talk’ and ‘the human touch’