Tina Knowles's 27 Best Corny Jokes

Photo credit: Getty Images
Photo credit: Getty Images

From Cosmopolitan

Tina Knowles Lawson is many things-businesswoman, fashion designer, mother of Beyoncé and Solange, grandmother of Blue, Rumi, and Sir. But she is also a comedian, which you know if you follow her on Instagram. In between glamorous photos of her vacations to the South of France and adorable shots of herself with her husband, Richard Lawson, Ms. Tina loves to post pictures of herself telling extremely corny jokes. There are so many of these jokes that she's actually told more than one of them more than once, but that doesn't matter because she's a comedic genius. Here, a roundup of her absolute best corny jokes.

1. There's definitely something fishy going on here.

Fishy stuff😄

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on May 8, 2016 at 10:12am PDT

While Tina did not officially label this as a corny joke, a deep perusal of her Instagram history shows that this post from May 2016 appears to be the first time she told a corny joke on camera. You'll also see that she's still working up to a the full joke format; this is really just a pun followed by a shot of some ridiculously huge koi.

2. Have you been drinking?

Corny Friday joke😄

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on May 20, 2016 at 2:27pm PDT

On May 20, 2016, Ms. Tina posted her first corny joke. It's certainly not her best, but you can tell that she's got a great concept on her hands.

3. Snow balls.

Corny joke of the day😄??

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on Aug 10, 2016 at 5:13pm PDT

On Aug. 10, Ms. Tina hit her stride, posting one that was (1) the first truly funny installment of the corny joke series and (2) kind of dirty, by her standards.

4. Impotent/important.

Corny joke of the day!??. Come on guys Important/impotent get it?😀

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on Aug 21, 2016 at 2:09pm PDT

This joke only works because Ms. Tina's Southern accent is so good. Imagine Jay-Z trying this with his native New Yorker accent. Oh, what's that? You can't? Exactly.

5. Jalape?o business.

Corny joke day. What did the nosy pepper do ?

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on Jan 27, 2017 at 1:19pm PST

It's possible I only like this one because I've been making this same joke at bar trivia for six years.

6. A prescription for arsenic.

I got this Joke from the talented comedian Micheal Collier the other night??

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on Feb 5, 2017 at 1:21pm PST

By February 2017, Ms. Tina had progressed to telling jokes about husband-killing. I'm not saying that this is bad or good; I'm just saying that it happened. I believe this is what they call "the evolution of comedy."

7. Too many cheetahs.

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on Feb 21, 2017 at 1:53pm PST

TOO MANY CHEETAHS. Get it?

8. The cemetery fence.

Richard hating on my joke ! It's supposed to be corny ??

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on Mar 1, 2017 at 10:07am PST

OK, this joke is not good, but it belongs on this list for two reasons: (1) It's the first of many times Ms. Tina's husband Richard Lawson appears to provide commentary and (2) the way she says "it's funny" at him is perfect.

9. A fake noodle.

Good Morning Happy Thursday??

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on Mar 2, 2017 at 6:35am PST

This woman is a genius.

10. The first mention of Beyoncé.

The joke in this one (it's about a toilet) isn't great, but the video must be included for context and the mention of Beyoncé. As true Ms. Tina corny joke stans know, she often wears the same outfit multiple days in a row and seems to film the jokes in the same place. This is because she films several at once, and in this video, she explains that she does this when the light is good. "When you get my age, you gotta find your light," she says. Spoken like a true influencer!

11. In a jam.

Happy Saturday you asked for it here it go! my loves??

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on Mar 18, 2017 at 4:04pm PDT

Sheer perfection.

12. I'll go on a head.

Good Morning ??

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on May 16, 2017 at 10:44am PDT

Yeah, she's using props now. Eat your heart out, Saturday Night Live.

13. Because of his coffin.

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on May 24, 2017 at 6:44pm PDT

This joke is great on its own, but the fact that she coughs to illustrate her point really takes it to the next level.

14. Fancy watermelon weddings.

Yes super corny????

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on Jun 10, 2017 at 7:17pm PDT

The pan to the watermelon is Oscar-worthy.

15. Pasta-tute.

A pastatute😂

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on Jul 11, 2017 at 2:37pm PDT

Ms. Tina loves a pasta pun.

16. Crushed nuts.

Ms. Tina doesn't always make dirty jokes, but when she does, they usually involve balls.

17. Gotcha!

Got cha!!!??

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on Sep 30, 2017 at 4:55pm PDT

Well she did, didn't she?

18. "You found the light."

Corny Joke time Bey in the background saying “ you found that light”

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on Dec 7, 2017 at 4:09pm PST

This one is notable because you can actually hear Beyoncé in the background, yelling at her mom about the aforementioned light. Beyoncé is Beyoncé, but she's also a human with a mom who does embarrassing stuff like post corny jokes on Instagram. It's crazy!

19. He only comes once a year.

A solid, mildly dirty Christmas effort.

20. Another jam joke.

Richard is being a hater😂

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on Jan 15, 2018 at 3:50pm PST

Richard's face says it all.

21. Taking the bus.

Happy Saturday??

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on Apr 7, 2018 at 4:15pm PDT

I just love that the whole punchline of this joke is having a commercial driver's license.

22. If you don't love this joke, then blame it on Richard.

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on Apr 29, 2018 at 7:02pm PDT

Richard is a great Instagram husband.

23. Fast food.

French corny joke time??just for you @octaviaspencer ??

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on May 15, 2018 at 10:32am PDT

A French joke for a French vacation.

24. A literal corn joke.

Corny joke time!!! One of my IG friends sent me this😂

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on May 21, 2018 at 12:08pm PDT

It had to happen at least once.

25. A shit zoo.

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on Jun 18, 2018 at 2:00pm PDT

She's kind of cursing, but not really. Ms. Tina is nothing if not polite.

26. Beyoncé's Obama joke.

My straight men are Blue and Beyonce 😂??she cut the camera off on me😩

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on Jul 10, 2018 at 9:50am PDT

Ms. Tina claims that Beyoncé is the person who wrote this Obama knock-knock joke, but it doesn't matter if that's true or not because either way you get to hear Bey groaning at her mother's corniness.

27. The classic 'P' joke.

No corny joke list is complete without the classic missing "P" alphabet groaner, so thank goodness Ms. Tina finally got around to this one two years into her project. May her joke-telling bring us joy forever.

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