'Too outside-y.' Read the most absurd 1-star reviews of Indiana state parks in time for summer
Yelp reviewer "Philip B." from Highland had "no idea" why they made Indiana's famous sand dunes into a national park. While other Yelp users expressed admiration for its breathtaking scenery and diverse wildlife, he remained unimpressed.
"Very underwhelming," he wrote in June 2022. "Don't waste your time. Unless you want to spend a vacation on the beach at Lake Michigan or climb sand dunes."
Gee, who would want to do that?
We get it. People are entitled to their opinions. If petting zoos had unicorns, online reviews would include comments like:
"The rainbows coming out of the unicorn's magic horns aren't all that impressive."
"None of the unicorns would pose for my Instagram photos."
"Honestly, it's just a slightly less fat rhinoceros, 1 out of 5 stars, do not recommend."
Indiana Dunes State Park is one of 23 others managed by the Indiana State Parks System, which handles an additional seven small satellite locations, eight reservoir properties, two state forest recreation areas and two off-road riding areas. These are places where generations of Hoosiers have marveled at Indiana's natural beauty.
Of course, not everyone is dazzled, as evidenced by the following 1-star reviews, edited for clarity and length, from people who looked at these same places and thought, "Meh."
Others are reading: 10 popular Indiana state parks and what to know before visiting
Indiana Dunes State Park: 'Too sandy'
Why people go: Indiana Dunes State Park in Porter County is a popular summer destination. Its glacial sands "pushed and pulled by time" can rise nearly 250 feet, offering spectacular views of Lake Michigan's blue waters and roaring surf. Nature enthusiasts can saunter through 2,200 acres of lush, primitive landscape teeming with hundreds of species of birds. And that's the state park. There's a national park next door with 50 miles of hiking trails spread across 15,000 acres.
What the reviews say overall: The dunes have garnered upwards of 17,000 reviews between Google and Yelp, most of which are favorable. The national and state parks have earned 4.6 and 4.7 out of 5 stars on Google, respectively.
All of which failed to impress these people.
The 1-star reviews:
"The blue water is too wet and the golden sand is too hot. Don’t waste your time. The hiking trails are sandy and too outside-y." — Jennifer Ryan, March 2024.
"No swimming allowed due to waves that weren't that big." — Brian Reynolds, 2022.
"The flies were eating me alive." — Geogeann Coop, 2020.
"Our neighbor was a lunatic. He fed marshmallows to raccoons and harassed us to take part in viewing his nonsense. He taunted our lack of food supply." — Sam C., June 2019.
"Way too many idiots from Illinois there." — Scott Cronn, 2019.
How to get to the park anyway: Drive to 1600 N. 25 E, Chesterton, IN 46304 or visit the state park's official website at the Indiana Department of Natural Resources. Visitors to Indiana Dunes National Park can reach it via Interstate 94, the Indiana Toll Road (Interstate 80/90), U.S. Highways 12 and 20, Indiana State Road 49 and other state roads, according to park officials. The Indiana Dunes Visitor Center is located on Indiana State Road 49.
Turkey Run State Park: 'Not a single running turkey'
Why people go: Moss-covered rock formations, waterfalls and verdant greenery make for an enchanting hike at Turkey Run State Park. It sits about 30 minutes southwest of Crawfordsville. Among other amenities, there's a cabin commemorating Richard Lieber, the father of Indiana's state park system. Midwest Living Magazine called Turkey Run one of "best places to hike" in the Midwest.
Overall: Turkey Run has earned 4.8 out of 5 stars on Google from upwards of 6,700 reviews.
The 1-star review:
"Been here about 10 times now...never seen a single running turkey. False advertising. The hiking trails were fun though." — Dimitris Valioulis, 2019.
How to get to the park: Drive to 8121 E. Park Road, in Marshall, Indiana.
Others are reading: Is this Indiana State Park in Marshall really the Midwest's best place for hiking?
Cecil M Harden Lake, Raccoon Lake State Recreation Area: You can't play your music (during quiet hours)
Why people go: Raccoon Lake State Recreation Area is roughly one hour west of Indianapolis and nestled on Cecil M. Harden Lake. In addition to the park's forests and swimming areas, attendees can check out the historic Mansfield Roller Mill, a flour mill from the 1880s.
Overall: The park has earned 4.6 out of 5 stars from more than 1,500 reviews on Google.
The 1-star reviews:
"I'm giving it 1 star because I wish the tourists would stay away. Most don't know how to drive, which results in accidents." — xFatalPhenomx, 2020.
"Worst camping site I have ever been to. You can't even play your music nor play corn hole after 11!" — Mikey Daugherty, 2017.
How to get to the park: Drive to 1588 S. Raccoon Parkway in Rockville, Indiana.
Scrub Hub: How are Indiana state park hiking trails designed?
McCormick's Creek State Park: The raccoons were doing what, now?
Why people go: McCormick's Creek has the honor of being Indiana's first state park. About an hour away from Indianapolis outside of Bloomington, the park is known for its waterfalls, flowing creeks, limestone canyons and often hosts concerts at its amphitheater.
While the park has been closed since a deadly EF-3 tornado struck the area on March 31, 2023, crews have been busy making trails accessible again.
Overall: McCormick's Creek has upwards of 3,731 reviews on Google, most of which are favorable at 4.8 out of 5 stars. One lady's experience with raccoons, however, cost the park her 5-star rating.
The 1-star review:
"The raccoons at this park are out of control. ...We were asleep and a raccoon tore a hole in my tent and was eating the bread beside us. There was another raccoon in our firepit and another getting into our cooler," wrote Stevie Meyer on Google in 2015. "We tried going back to bed only to have the raccoon get back into my tent right beside me, hiss at me and run back."
How to get to the park: Drive to 250 McCormick's Creek Park Road in Spencer, Indiana, but be aware that not all of its facilities have reopened to the public.
While the campground and some park trails remain closed, McCormick's Creek State Park's nature center, Canyon Inn, cabins, most shelters and some hiking trails are now open, according to DNR. The public pool is scheduled to reopen Friday, May 1, while the Saddle Barn will remain closed.
Tippecanoe River State Park: For some, if the mosquitoes don't bug you the rednecks will
Why people go: Tippecanoe River State Park attracts canoers and kayakers who want to experience some of the best river scenery Indiana has to offer. The state park is a sanctuary for bird species and a stop on the Indiana Birding Trail. Guests to the park have spotted warblers, wild ducks and red-headed woodpeckers. In addition to 23 miles of trails — 9 hiking-only with 14 miles reserved for both hiking and horse trails — the park has a 90-foot fire tower offering visitors a surrounding view of the countryside.
Overall: The park has mostly favorable ratings on Google, earning 4.6 out of 5 stars from 974 reviews. On Tripadvisor, Tippecanoe River State Park had 42 reviews — 18 rated it "excellent," 15 called the park "very good" and seven people said it was "average." The remaining two thought the park was "terrible."
The harshest critiques both from Google and Tripadvisor cited mosquitoes and loud music.
The 1-star reviews:
"The mosquitoes are like a biblical swarm." — Douglas McLanahan, May 2024.
"The campground is crowded in the midst of all that Indiana farmland with lots of trees. Trees sound good until you try to back your camper in. All the ones around us had scrape marks. Then there were the rednecks and screaming kids. They did shut up around 10 p.m., but lots of noise until then." — Goff42, June 2017.
"Beautiful area, but the air was swarming with mosquitoes and we had to pick ticks off our bodies and our dogs bodies for days." — Bill W. May 2014.
How to get to the park anyway: Drive to 4200 N US Hwy 35 in Winamac, Indiana.
Others are reading: Here's when every full moon shines in 2024
John Tufts covers trending news for the Indianapolis Star. Send him a news tip at [email protected].
This article originally appeared on Indianapolis Star: Indiana Dunes too sandy? Funny 1-star reviews of Indiana state parks
