"Tooth Fairies" Are Sharing Their Most Creative And Funniest "Visits," And They're Such A Good Laugh
If you've ever believed in or actually been the tooth fairy, you know it's a full-time job — including but not limited to night shifts.
20th Century Fox / Via giphy.com
Recently, u/ve-gay-n decided to ask, "'Tooth fairies:' how do you do it without waking the kiddos? Any funny stories?" And there were, in fact, many funny stories!
Parents and now-adult children did not hesitate to share their best "tooth fairy" memories, and it's truly a trip — just see for yourself:
1."Once, my son got the bright idea to con the tooth fairy. He made Play-Doh teeth and left them. As he was totally naive about this, he shared his plan with me. However, the fake teeth only yielded fake money — chocolate coins in gold-colored foil!
"He anticipated untold riches!" —u/Bananapeel62
2."My son refused to let Santa, the Easter Bunny, or the tooth fairy in the house. He would cry and get so nervous and anxious. The tooth fairy left the money in the mailbox. I still have his little letters that said, 'Dear Santa, I love you. Please don’t come inside my house.'"
"Santa had to leave presents on the porch. Easter Bunny left the basket on the porch." —u/SandyInStLouis
3."One time, my daughter’s tooth fell out, and the tooth fairy completely forgot that night. She was upset, but her mom explained that, sometimes, the tooth fairy gets busy and she will come the next night — which will all be good because she will pay an extra 50 cents to make up for being late. This satisfied my daughter. About three months later, my daughter announces that she lost another tooth a month ago, that it had been under her pillow for a month, and the tooth fairy clearly owes her $15."
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4."I do it at bedtime. We listen to a chapter of an audiobook, and she's usually passed out in five minutes with my arm under her pillow. She wakes up in the morning with a bank transaction receipt from the National Bank of Fairies and a credit to her bank account."
"She also gets a little zip pouch with a new toothbrush and the horrible smelling bubblegum mouthwash she likes." —u/denimuprising
5."Once, one of my kids lost a tooth at night, and we didn’t have anything smaller than a $20, so we told him that means he lost a super special tooth. The other parents in his class heard about it and were annoyed with us because their kids then thought it was the going rate."
"When my middle kid got money for his first tooth, he tried really hard to loosen another to make a quick buck. He swallowed it at lunch and was so upset. We paid him anyway and told him the tooth fairy could use magic to get it." —u/negcap
6."I tell them the tooth fairy doesn’t do house visits right now due to COVID. They have to give me the teeth so I can mail them in and get the deposit electronically."
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7."When my brother accidentally swallowed his tooth, the tooth fairy taped his money to the toilet."
8."My daughter saw her big brother getting loot for his newly lost tooth. She was maybe three years old and wanted in on the action. I caught her putting something under her pillow one evening and said, 'Honey what are you hiding under your pillow?' She looked at me and whispered, 'Magic coins.' She had placed Chuck E. Cheese tokens under her pillow. She said that if she left some money, then a secret fairy would come and leave her some teeth. That night, I chipped small pieces off a block of parmesan cheese and dipped them lightly in ketchup 'blood,' placed them in a bag, and made the exchange."
"A much better deal than being out a five every time my kid sheds a tooth." —u/denimuprising
9."I had caught my mom once. She let me know she thought she heard a burglar coming to steal my earnings. When I was worried that she scared off the tooth fairy, she let me know that she heard bells earlier."
"She told me not to worry since she was there!" —u/KodiakBear413
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10."My daughter had to get a tooth pulled. She freaked out in her druggy haze at home, worrying, 'The dentist kept my tooth! The tooth fairy needs it to leave me money!' I told her to calm down, write a letter, and explain the situation. 'Dear tooth fairy — Sugar bugs got my tooth so the dentist kept it. Please leave me money.' That night, in my ninja mom mode, I managed to wrangle the letter from her sleeping hand and slip a $5 in. She was so happy. The next night, she was giggling going to bed. I was so curious, and she whispered, 'I'm going to trick the tooth fairy.' I ninja'ed back in later and found a note. 'Dear tooth fairy — Sugar bugs again, you know? Please leave me money.'"
"I wrote a new note, 'Dear kid, you can't lie to me. Lying is not nice, and now you have to pay for my time. I took my money back.' She was hysterical. But WHY would the tooth fairy do that?
She finally came around that she did indeed act badly toward the tooth fairy. A week later, I wrote another note, 'Dear kid, I think you learned well. Don't let me hear you lying again, I saw your piggy bank in your room,' and I put the $5 with it. Her lying has gone down about 90% since then." —u/honestaccount31
11."My kids made out like bandits because we constantly forgot to put the money under their pillow. They would come to breakfast with sad faces, saying, 'The tooth fairy forgot...' So then either my wife or I would guiltily sneak into their room and slip a couple of bucks under the pillow."
"I’m sure I left a $5 bill at least once!" —u/Kragdarr
12."My mom would have us put the tooth right next to the pillow. She would make tiny envelopes and write messages really small from the fairy about her adventures and her kingdom. We got to know her ladybug steed and about how it loved the sprinkles we saved out for it one time by the tooth container. One time, she and some of the other fairies got tumbled right into a tree all night and weren't able to pick up the tooth (when my parents had forgotten)."
"She would give many thanks for giving such healthy teeth for the Ivory Kingdom — not stinky black ones that she would just have to give as chairs to the stinky, old swamp flies. She would put mine in the very best of gardens and windows so everyone would see them.
My mom is a pretty fun wordsmith and kept our imaginations going on these pretend hijinks. I still have the letters. Half are written on leaf-shaped cutouts of paper; others are 'scavenged' Lisa Frank stationery from my room. A fairy can only hold so much cargo on a journey after all." —u/CheshireMoonz
ITV Studios Global Entertainment / Debmar-Mercury / Lionsgate Television / Via giphy.com
13."I worked with someone who would leave tiny letters from the tooth fairy with her oldest. The younger kid lost his first tooth while Mom was out of town, so a quick-thinking Dad — who couldn't replicate the tiny writing — decided that every kid had their own tooth fairy."
"The younger kid's fairy was a giant, and, instead of miniature notes, he left oversized notes." —u/BobosBigSister
14."My mom is very practical and serious, so my tooth fairy was like a professional businesswoman. We had different rates for different types of teeth — and a vastly reduced rate for the time I tried to put a fake Play-Doh tooth under my pillow. When I ate my tooth, I decided to write a letter to the Tooth Fairy explaining the situation so I could be reimbursed."
"We never really established what the Tooth Fairy did with teeth. We actually kept all my teeth, and I knew it because this was more a game of pretending than anything I actually believed.
But when I was really little, I was kind of under the impression that the Tooth Fairy ate the teeth — because teeth have calcium, and that's good for you." —u/KeplerNova
15."One of mine lost a tooth on Christmas Eve. We told her if the tooth fairy and Santa bumped into each other, we would all be sucked into an alternative dimension, so she had to stay quiet in bed no matter what."
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16."One of ours lost a tooth on Christmas Eve. I posted to Photoshop Request and had them do a picture of Santa and the tooth fairy in front of our tree. They wrote a letter about how they bumped into each other and hadn't seen each other since college."
17."Years ago, my son decided he was going to catch the tooth fairy on camera by setting up his tablet to record in his room. When I walked in, I saw what he had done, walked over to it, and knocked it face down. His tablet records in 30-second increments. So, standing behind the tablet, I took a picture with the flash on so it would light up the room like the tooth fairy — then counted to 30 and stepped out. The result was a few dollars under his pillow and a video with a flash of the tooth fairy showing up. He was so excited!"
"The next morning, I scrolled to find the places with me in it and deleted them before he woke up." —u/Griffle78
18."I once gave my kid fifty cents worth of dimes... he wanted his tooth back. I told him to write a note to the tooth fairy, and he got his 'refund.'"
"I still have the note." —u/copperfrog42
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19."My oldest kid swallowed their first tooth and was devastated. So I left some money and a note from the tooth fairy saying she was working tirelessly with the Thames water poop gnome to retrieve the tooth."
"They fully bought it and told everyone." —u/BuzzAllWin
20."The last time I snuck money under their pillow, my 'snoring' child grabbed my arm and screamed, 'Aa-ha! BUSTED!' in my face, scaring the shit out of me."
"I, in turn, threatened to use his tooth to put a curse on him." —u/BuzzAllWin
21."When my daughter lost her tooth, I completely forgot to do the swap, and she told me the next morning. I made a letter from the tooth fairy explaining how she couldn't leave money because of how messy her room was. She said she hurt herself trying and would come back when her room was all tidy."
"It gave me time to get some cash and a reason for her to tidy her room." —u/messicanamerican
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22."My husband and I fell asleep and forgot to take the tooth and leave money a few weeks ago for my six-year-old daughter. My brilliant husband was like, 'It's because of COVID.' So we told her the tooth fairy wasn't collecting teeth due to COVID and was sending kids Robux — the currency in the game Roblox that they play — in lieu of leaving money under the pillow due to social distancing requirements."
"I quickly added $10 worth of Robux to her Roblox account before she logged in to check, and she was thrilled." —u/Fifty4FortyorFight
23."We forgot to 'do the switch' until it was super late, and we were already in bed, half-asleep. I woke my husband up in a panic, and he sleepily put money under our oldest's pillow. When they woke up and found it the next morning, they were so excited about the 'raise' the tooth fairy gave them — while my husband and I were secretly crying on the inside because somehow the tooth fairy gave a $5 bill."
"...and that is how our kids started getting a ridiculous amount of money per tooth." —u/somewhatobnoxious
24."My son tried to con the tooth fairy by cutting out triangles of white felt and passing them off as crocodile teeth."
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25."I had a very small, velvet beggar's purse for the kids to put their tooth in. I actually had two of these bags, but they didn't know that. They'd put their tooth in the bag, then put the bag under the pillow. I'd have the other bag with money in my pocket. I'd sit on the end of their bed and talk or read a story for a few minutes. Then I'd say it's time to go, stand up, lean over them to kiss them all over their face, and hug them — all while only using one arm and swapping out the tooth bag with the money bag with the other."
"Never got caught." —u/justgin
26."I had half a tooth chip off and put that out for the tooth fairy. I got 50p — which was fair — half a tooth, half the going rate."
27."I woke up in the morning looked under my pillow and the tooth was still there, no money. So I, of course, told my dad later on. He straight up said, 'Oh, crap, I forgot,' then pulled out some money and gave it to me. No explanation, no fancy story, no nothing."
"I didn’t even question anything, but I was pretty surprised. My parents never were into the whole Santa, tooth fairy, Easter Bunny, etc.
They even said, 'If you see a fat white man coming down that chimney, there’s going to be a serious problem.'" —u/ladyk1487
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28."Once, I lost a tooth and put it under my pillow for the tooth fairy, but, in the middle of the night, I woke up and went to sleep in my parents' bed. As usual, my dad couldn’t sleep with my kicking, so he slept in my bed. In the morning, he told a story of how he was sleeping and heard a buzzing in his ear. He waved his hand to shoo it away, but the buzzing came back. So he waived his hand harder, but he hit something. He woke up to see what it was, and it was the tooth fairy. He hit her against the wall, and she was yelling at him. He apologized to the tooth fairy, and she put the money under my pillow for me. But she forbid him from sleeping in my bed — so I was going to have to sleep in my own bed if the tooth fairy was going to come again."
"His pitch didn’t work. I still went to my parents' bed every so often, but I always remembered that story." —u/bobeany
29."We live in a desert. When fairies come to the desert, their skin gets really dry, and it flakes off — looks a little like glitter. They leave a trail from the window to the bedside. Sometimes, a kid might think a fairy forgot about their tooth. In actuality, there are sometimes storms over the Rockies that prevent a fairy from safely making the flight."
"Once the oldest kid learns that the tooth fairy is not real, a magical thing happens, and THEY become the tooth fairy for the younger ones.
This also happens with the Easter Bunny. The older kid gets to stay up a little later, do all the sneaking, and it keeps the fun alive for them." —u/LaaSirena
30."My kids could sleep through a rock concert but not the tooth fairy. I’ve been caught at least six times with four kids and had to wait up for hours to try again. So now I 'forget' to tell them to clean their room that day, then tell them the tooth fairy won’t come into their dirty room so they have to leave it in the bathroom on the counter. I just put the money there and go to bed."
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31."I had lost a tooth one time and remember being absolutely sure I was doomed because the tooth fairy would come out all this way for nothing. So I wrote down what happened and left a little Polly Pocket swingset and slide on the table by the bed so she could play hooky all night with a couple of crumbles of muffin, a play cup of water, and sprinkles for her ladybug — because that's, of course, what they eat. She assured me that she had the best time ever and hadn't realized she had needed the break as much as she did."
"Buggleton was also delighted with his sprinkles. The blue ones were his favorite — and not to worry, because that's what roly-poly bugs are for. They will find it for sure. 'Can't miss out on teeth as white as yours!'
I was absolutely sure this fairy lady existed for a while." —u/CheshireMoonz
32."My youngest had the idea that the tooth fairy wears a blue sparkly dress. He would ask me if I was the tooth fairy, so I let him look through my closets. No blue sparkly dress. Next summer was my parents' 'turn' for a visit — and what does my son find in my mama's closet? A blue sparkly dress!"
"Grandma's the tooth fairy!" —u/Danivelle
33."No funny stories — just open door, tiptoe into the room, take the tooth off the bedside table, and leave either a USD 10 or some other form of currency. I used to leave money from all around the world."
"Our tooth fairy was pretty international." —u/Okay_Splenda_Monkey
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34."I have a three-year-old son who will be meeting his fairy in a year or two, and his little sister just started sprouting her own ivory crops. The mister and I have already been throwing ideas. We are honestly thinking of chucking the tooth into the forest with a silly dance, then seeing if he got a present back by morning hanging in a special little bag or something he can spy out the window."
"I am starting a tiny people stump outside from the front windows for the various wee folk.
Maybe we can make a present shelf there for when we are 'interacting' with our little fae and spirits — or something on the porch so it's more sheltered and a halfway point. Dunno, we have a little while to marinate on it yet!" —u/CheshireMoonz
35."Sleight of hand. We used to have a little drawstring bag to put the tooth in. When my kids' teeth fell out, I would 'go get the bag,' but, at the same time, I would secretly wrap the money in a kitchen roll. Then I'd get them to wrap their tooth in a similar piece and hand it to me to put in the bag. Pretending it was the tooth, I'd put the wrapped up money in the bag instead, hide the wrapped tooth in my pocket, tie the drawstring, and get them to place it under their pillows."
"The money was already inside." —u/Tippas