Top 20 Back to School songs

By Martin Popoff

Well, it’s that time of year, so we thought we’d get longtime Goldmine scribe Martin Popoff on the case to see if he could construct a list of 20 great songs about going to school, being in school, liking school, maybe not liking school so much. It’s classic rock-based, of course, so maybe this is more like what school was like in the ‘70s and ‘80s. Let’s sit in on this class and see what we can learn. —Pat Prince

Thanks, Pat. I don’t know about you, but I still have those dreams about not being able to find my locker, not remembering my combination, and, worst of all, sitting down to an exam after skipping out almost every class the entire year. But humming these songs made me forget all that.—Martin Popoff

By Martin Popoff

20. The Runaways – “School Days”

This is a great punk rocking track from the band’s overlooked third album, 1977’s Waitin’ for the Night, a moderate step up in sophistication from the first two. It’s written by Joan Jett and notorious nutjob manager Kim Fowley, but Cherie Currie makes it her own with that bratty, pitchy delivery of hers.

19. AC/DC – “School Days”

It’s a Chuck Berry song, but AC/DC do a totally charming version of “School Days” on their Australian-only second album T.N.T. Bon Scott jackhammers the lyrics, while the rest of the band turns in a classic vintage AC/DC performance, tight and miniature, barely shuffling, recorded sizzling and visceral at Albert Studios down under.

18. Twisted Sister – “Be Chrool to Your Scuel”

More notorious than famous, “Be Chrool to Your Scuel” was a big part of the reason Twisted Sister and their Come Out and Play album were laughed out of the business. On the positive, Alice Cooper provides a guest vocal, Brian Setzer some guitar and Clarence Clemons some sax. But on the negative, there’s thin, tinkling piano by Billy Joel, a whole pile of horn parts and just an awful primary-colored song for all of them to help wreck.

17. Steely Dan – “My Old School”

There’s a nice nostalgic feel to this one that aligns with its title. Even for 1973, it’s somewhat retro, sounding like a cross between ‘60s funk and ‘60s girl group music, while also presaging Bruce Springsteen. Or maybe it’s Van Morrison I’m hearing. In any event, despite being about a drug bust, it’s a cozy song, garnering a No. 63 placement on the Billboard charts.

16. Extreme – “Mutha (Don’t Wanna Go to School Today)”

Sure, it’s a little obscure, not exactly a big hit and off of a hair metal album. But the lyrics are very on-point and then the next song is called “Teacher’s Pet” (Venom has a “Teacher’s Pet,” too!). As well, it was issued as a single and it’s got a pretty darn memorable chorus, at one point augmented with a schoolkid choir and a bell going off. And then “I think I’d rather go outside and play,” says singer Gary Cherone.

15. The Kinks – “Schooldays”

The Kinks’ entire 1975 album Schoolboys in Disgrace is on-point, with songs like “Jack the Idiot Dunce,” “Education,” “Headmaster” and “The Last Assembly.” But we’ll go with the quiet, melancholic waltz time of the opening track. As Ray reflects, “Schooldays were the happiest days/Now they seem so far away.” It’s an eloquent set-up for the rest of the album, which weaves in much young love as well.

14. MC5 – “High School”

“High School” sounds like it’s coming from the classroom PA, given Back in the USA’s notoriously tinny production values, courtesy of Jon Landau. But it’s a happy enough, uptempo rocker, mildly power chorded but in a predictable “Louie Louie” frame of mind. There ain’t much to the lyrics, but at least we get “High school, sis boom bah.”

13. The J. Geils Band – “Centerfold”

Speaking of “Louie Louie” chords, they’re back and holding up The J. Geils Band’s biggest hit ever. “Centerfold” has Peter Wolf pining for his “homeroom angel,” who he later sees in “a girly magazine.” There’s lots of memorable “nah-nah-nahing” and even some whistling. It’s a wonderful song in 1981, bridging Bruce Springsteen and Billy Joel to John Mellencamp with a look-in from both The Kinks and The Tubes during that era.

12. The Beastie Boys – “You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party!)”

All the school stuff is mainly the first verse, but it sure sets up the song. “You wake up late for school/Man you don't want to go”—am I right? (as they say). And then we know the rest of the song more or less revolves around the school day cycle anyway, smoking cigarettes, long hair, music’s too loud and of course fighting for your right to party.

11. 38 Special – “Teacher, Teacher”

No southern rock band navigated the AOR radio rock 1980s better than 38 Special. Heck, they even landed songs on soundtracks, which is how “Teacher, Teacher” got so famous, hitting No. 25 on the Billboard charts after showing up on the Teachers album, along with ZZ Top’s “Cheap Sunglasses.” It deserved to do well though, given its passion-filled Midwest rock power chords, augmented by a touch of jangle like a raucous John Mellencamp or Bryan Adams tune.

10. Supertramp – “The Logical Song”

Here’s a heartbreaking song that’s essentially about being sent off to boarding school in the traditional English way. The protagonist is shocked out of his communion with nature and sent off to learn how to be logical, responsible and practical. It struck a nerve, becoming a massive hit on the band’s 1979 album Breakfast in America. Is it yacht rock? Pomp rock? An easy listening version of City Boy perhaps? Whatever it is, it’s arranged and perform with the ambitious detailing of Steely Dan.

9. The Jackson 5 – “ABC”

Super-detailed scholastic lyrics to this one, although we quickly shift over to it being about the ABCs of love. Impressively, this joyous, complicated construct of a song knocked The Beatles’ “Let It Be” out of the No. 1 spot on the Billboard charts in 1970. What’s also impressive is the quick nod to the song Roger Taylor gives us in Queen’s barnstorming “Modern Time’s Rock ‘n’ Roll” from three years later.

8. The Police – “Don’t Stand So Close to Me”

It’s the opening track on The Police’s third album and it was a massive hit, especially back home in the U.K., where it zoomed to No. 1 and sold over 800,000 copies as a single. Stateside, it won the band a Grammy. It’s one of the band’s lighter and more sparse hit singles, but that was kind of the vibe of Zenyatta Mondatta anyway. At the lyric end, it’s about a girl pining for her male teacher. As Sting tells us, “This girl is half his age.”

7. The Ramones – “Rock ‘n’ Roll High School”

“Blitzkrieg Bop” might beat it by a bat, due to its use to rally the team, but 1979’s “Rock ‘n’ Roll High School” is more of a universal fun-time anthem. It was the big hit from 1980’s Phil Spector-produced End of the Century album, but it was also the centrepiece to the movie of the same name, with the two coming together for the iconic regular rotation video. It opens strong with “I don’t care about history” but the best image has got to be Joey “cruisin’ around in my GTO.”

6. The Smiths – “The Headmaster Ritual”

As Morrissey croons “Belligerent fools run Manchester schools,” the rest of The Smiths are busy creating what is arguably the most glorious example of the Smiths sound, uptempo, acoustic, with sophisticated chord changes, rumbling and roiling from section to sublime section. It’s the opening track on 1985’s Meat Is Murder album, which is also, arguably, the Smiths album you need to own the most. There’s a number of heartbreaking lines, but also some good barbs, like “Same old suit since 1962.”

5. Pearl Jam – “Jeremy”

It’s one of the biggest songs from the diamond-certified Ten album, but this anti-bullying song wasn’t issued as a single at the time. Nonetheless its legend grew and grew over time and now it’s a classic rock staple. The climax to the song is the oddly anthemic chorus, with Eddie Vedder singing “Jeremy spoke in class today.” At the music end, it’s a sort of loud, full-band ballad but despondent with the chord changes, suitable for the introverted story at hand.

4. Brownsville Station – “Smokin’ in the Boys Room”

At our school, most of the smoking took place behind the backstop, but the rowdy, irascible hoodlum rock soundtrack to the puffing was exactly this song — and not the M?tley Crüe version, but the original by Brownsville Station. Unfortunately, the band’s sort of rock and roll revival albums never quite lived up to the outlaw hard rock grind of this 1973 anthem from Cub Koda and crew.

3. Van Halen – “Hot for Teacher”

Like a speed metal version of Cheech and Chong’s “Sister Mary Elephant” comedy bit, “Hot for Teacher” finds David Lee Roth back in class and actually pretty happy about getting started, especially when the new teacher walks into the room. But it’s Alex’s heartbeat that pitter-patters fastest, with the percussive Van Halen brother turning in a double bass drum shuffle beat that is deathly hard to play smoothly.

2. Pink Floyd – “Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2”

I can tell you, this was an anthem when I was in high school, and I recall that it was played at the back of the bus on a school trip on repeat, much to the annoyance of our band teacher, Clark White. It paints a grim picture of the British school system that our favorite rock stars had to endure, as did, presumably Pink.

1. Alice Cooper – “School’s Out”

It was a stroke of genius, coming up with this song, and then the guys and Bob Ezrin sent it over the top with the children’s choir and the bell going off. Besides that though, there’s Alice’s amusing lyrics and the fact that it’s one of the original band’s most heavy metal songs. Shocking to remember what last day of school was like for us (at least in Trail, BC). Is it still like that today? What I’m referring to is everything being dragged out of our lockers and strewn all over the hallway floor. Or did I dream that? But there you have it — the greatest anthem about school, because it’s about the end of school.

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