What is a ‘Venmo Mom’? Mom explains why she refuses to volunteer at her kids’ schools
Don’t ask this mother to volunteer at her children’s schools — she’s a proud “Venmo Mom.”
“I don’t know about anyone else out there but ‘Meet the Teacher’ is super stressful because I do not want to be involved at all,” Casey Neal, a mother of four in Tennessee, said in a TikTok video. “I will make sure my kids obviously do their homework and get to school on time ... but I don’t want to be on PTO, PTA, Room Mom, Team Mom — I don’t want to do any of that.”
Neal explained that she gets anxious when school and sports teams ask for parent volunteers.
“I’m like, ‘Oh no, I know they’re judging me because I’m not raising my hand’ but I don’t want to do all that extra sh--,” she said. “I don’t want to come in, I don’t want to set up.”
Neal donates money instead of volunteering her time. That’s what “Venmo Moms” do.
“If the Room Mom needs money for everyone to participate, fine. I’ll Venmo money right over,” Neal said in her video. “I do not want to set up for it. I don’t want to do it.”
Neal added, “I even told one of the coaches today that I am a Venmo Mom.”
Other Venmo Moms thanked Neal for admitting her feelings. Neal was even commended by Room Moms, Team Moms and teachers who wrote that they are secretly “Venmo Moms.”
“I’m a teacher and don’t want to be involved in ‘Meet the Teacher.’”
“I am a Venmo Mom with a side of Field Trip Mom.”
“I’ll literally pay for the entire event. Just don’t make me go.”
“As a PTO and Room Mom, we appreciate the Send Money Moms. A place for everyone!”
“As an introvert, please don’t ask me!”
“I’m a teacher and a Venmo Mom.”
“All I can offer my daughter’s classroom is money and a well-behaved child.”
“I have five kids, including triplets, and I was so shamed for not volunteering.”
“Let’s normalize THIS please.”
“Some of us have full-time jobs that don’t allow us the time to volunteer.”
Some moms who volunteer their time at school wrote that they’ve felt misunderstood by Venmo Moms, writing, “I felt way more judged as a PTO mom/Team Mom” and “Y’all judge us far more than we do y’all.”
One person wrote of Venmo Moms: “We’d all rather do this. Who is supposed to make the class parties happen if no one feels like doing it?”
Moms who love participating in-person wrote: “I don’t understand why people don’t volunteer” and "My kids told me that me showing up when they were kids made them feel important and loved.”
Neal, a district store manager, tells TODAY.com that she nicknamed herself after some parents made her feel lazy for not volunteering at the former schools of her children, ages 11, 7, 5 and 3.
“I constantly traveled for my old job and I never had enough flexibility,” says Neal, whose children are in a new school district this year. “I was barely making it to sports practices, competitions and games.” Neal says that in the past, she’s lost track of school message notifications.
Neal recalls overhearing one former school mom make a “cruel comment” about her schedule. She adds that conversations with a teacher and a coach were judgmental.
Along with volunteering at school (opportunities usually presented during her work hours), three of Neal’s children play sports so there are numerous ways to contribute her time.
Since her daughter started competitive cheerleading in July, Neal has been “hounded by moms” about group-bonding activities. This year, Neal attended three “Meet the Teacher” events (on the same day as baseball practice) where she announced she was a “Venmo mom.”
The teachers, she says, seemed comfortable with her offer.
Neal says she is happy to buy communal classroom supplies and she’s very communicative, however, “Please don’t expect me to be in charge of anything.”
According to Neal, moms are the ones expected to be present for school activities, oversee school enrollment or considered the primary parent.
“When kids gets hurt at school, the nurse usually calls mom first,” she says.
Neal is very grateful to moms who donate their time.
“It takes a community to make it all happen,” Neal tells TODAY.com. “Everyone wins.”
This article was originally published on TODAY.com