The Walking Dead, season 8, episode 5, The Big Scary U recap: Negan finally gets a tear-jerking back story

Is this a cadaver we see before us? Actually, it was a coach-load of the rotters: all eager to feast on the brains – and sundry other body parts – of Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) and Gabriel (Seth Gilliam). After enough padding to stock a mattress factory, The Walking Dead was finally returning to the only storyline in season eight that anyone cares about – the awkward meet-cute between Saviour boss and priest in a caravan besieged by walkers. 

When we last checked in, Negan and Gabriel – all going well we will soon be collectively referring to them as “Nabriel” – were sheltering from a tide of undead unleashed by Rick and the gang in their assault on Negan’s Sanctuary. This week the action picked up more or less immediately following Negan’s ice-breaking monologue about the importance of Gabriel putting on his brown trousers (Negan used a more colourful term).

In the stygian gloom of the mobile home, the only spark was the unlikely bromantic chemistry between the two. As was understandable under the circumstances, conversation quickly went to strange places. Coaxed by Gabriel, a weepy Negan acted entirely out of character and opened up about his late wife (his actual wife, too – rather than the indentured chattels he has collected at the Sanctuary). 

Gabriel, not to be outdone in man-tears, chimed in with the confession that, during the initial walker outbreak, he had cheekily barricaded his parishioners out of his church. They had been devoured while he quivered behind a pew. As wicked deeds go, this wasn’t quite up with Negan detaching Glenn’s eyeball – but Gabriel was nonetheless correct in acknowledging it wasn’t his finest hour. 

You could see what the show was aiming for here – a lump-in-throat exchange that cast Gabriel and, especially, Negan in a new light. But for those still reeling from the death last week of cutesy killer tiger Shiva – honestly, Walking Dead, how could you? – it was too much to expect we would put ourselves willingly through the wringer all over again. Also, does anyone truly want a thoughtful, damp-eyed Negan?  

1. Was it worth the wait to reconnect with Negan and Gabriel? 

It was back to the caravan where Gabriel and Negan were having a platonic speed-date as walkers made throat-clearing noises outside. The banter, alas, fell conspicuously short of top-drawer. "Your friend Rick is an a__hole," said Negan."You're an a__hole," shot back Gabriel. Things went from toe curling to ridiculous as, eager to fill the time, Gabriel speculated out loud that he was “meant” to be trapped in a confined space so that he could take Negan's confession. 

2. Could Negan and Gabriel really have escaped the walkers that easily? 

Ever since a zombie first chomped on a brain in anger, people have cheated post-apocalyptic death by draping ghoul-gore over their heads and shoulders and passing themselves off as members of undead hordes. Weepy man-chat concluded, that's exactly what Negan and Gabriel did – slapping on the viscera the better to impersonate the walkers. 

Somehow they made it out – though not before spiking an over-curious walker or three through the cranium. Just in time, as it happened, to quell a revolt among the workers at the Sanctuary and for Negan to order Eugene to find a way to lift the walker siege Rick had laid around the complex. 

Otherwise – and he said this is as a friend – Negan would ensure that Eugene (Josh McDermitt) was the first of his lieutenants put out of his misery, with a bullet through the head. The episode finished with a nasty coda, as Gabriel contracted a potentially life threatening fever – a consequence of having earlier donned whiffy entrails as his Sunday best. 

3. It's the Walking Dead season eight – of course there's a flashback

As we took our leave of the quivering cleric in episode one, Father Gabriel had been left high and dry by Gregory and forced to take refuge in Negan's zombie-proof caravan. But now we whooshed all the way back to the pre-conflict build-up in Alexandria. In otherwise deserted church, Gabriel praying that, were the worst to come, he would at least be granted a meaningful death. 

Then it was over to the Sanctuary – we were still in flashback – where Gregory was having a strained conversation with Simon (Steve Ogg) and Simon's moustache. This was the morning of Rick's march on Negan and Gregory (Xander Berkeley) was en route to his first sit down with Saviours’s governing council. 

Negan was openly incredulous that the former Hilltop boss was a useful potential ally. Of all people, the usually mercurial Simon was the one rushing to Gregory’s defence. This was hardly plausible. On the heels of two seasons of cackling villainy, was it credible that he would suddenly cultivate a cuddly and caring side?

4. Oh look – Eugene is still around

We've obviously all missed Eugene and his mullet – neither having had a speaking part thus far in the season. But here they were, at Negan's conference table, listening intently as, for no real reason, the uber-villain defended his policy of killing with impunity – the excuse being that, a little bloodshed now would prevent a lot of bloodshed down the line. As Negan monologues went, it was solid stuff –  nobody, after all, does megalomaniac smarm better than Jeffrey Dean Morgan. A speaking part from Eugene would have been the post-apocalyptic cherry on top. 

5. Where did the damp-eyed, huggable Negan come from?

With nothing to do but chat and wait for the Saviours to presumably rescue them, Gabriel and Negan opened up to one another. "I liked to help people through their weaknesses," said Negan – explaining that his reign of terror actually kept a lid on the violence that would otherwise sweep the Sanctuary (a point he had already made at his earlier conference with his lieutenants).

Back at HQ, meanwhile, his lieutenants were reckoning with life after the presumed death of daddy despot. Now that their boss was seemingly gone, could they all still claim they were part of the Negan collective identity? With the restive workers downing tools, cracks were appearing in the regime.

6. Eugene suspects a traitor

How coincidental, suggested Saviour Gavin (Jayson Warner Smith), that Rick should march on the Sanctuary the very morning Negan had summoned his lieutenants from their outposts for a day of team-building and pampering.

Dwight – the traitor literally in the midst – changed the subject with conspicuous haste by urging the crew to fight on – thus deflecting the suspicions of all except clever clogs Eugene. Of course Eugene has a vested interest in identifying the turn-coat. As the newcomer in the gang, a witch hunt would in all likelihood target him in the first instance. 

In their later exchange, Eugene seemed oddly supportive of Dwight. Was he merely feeding his supposed ally rope with which to strangle himself? Or might he be planning some Negan back-stabbing of his own? Oh Walking Dead, with these wheels within wheels you spoil us.

7. Daryl is still up for killing everyone 

With the party-pack of explosives liberated from the Saviours, Rick (Andrew Lincoln) and Daryl (Norman Reedus) could blow open the gates to the Sanctuary and allow walkers stream in. Hundreds of innocent workers enslaved by Negan might potentially die in the process – but Daryl wasn’t fussed. “We got our own people to look after,” he insisted. Rick didn't see things quite the same way and a heated exchange of views – or, if you prefer, a vicious fist-fight – ensued. It was a reminder of the widening split amongst the Survivors – between those willing to embrace scorched earth tactics (Team Daryl) and those who believe in the high moral ground (Team Rick). 

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8. Were you impressed by Negan’s backstory?

With walkers pressing in, Negan's focus was on saving his neck (and also his bespoke studded baseball bat). Gabriel, by contrast, was more interested in getting it all off his chest. When the dead first overran humanity, he admitted, he’d locked his congregation out to the church. "That is some horrible, cowardly, spineless s___," said Negan. The Saviour, for his part, revealed that his first wife – "his only real wife"– had turned into a walker before his eyes. 

"I couldn't put her down - that is why I was weak, that is what I confess." This was the closest we’ve come to a solid Negan backstory – it was also implied he used to be teacher – and Jeffrey Dean Morgan made the most of his moment, with a performance just the right side of lip quivering. 

Season 8 of The Walking Dead will be aired on FOX, the global entertainment channel, at 9pm on Mondays. You can also catch it on NOW TV with a 14 day free trial  of their Entertainment Pass