Wallis: the Queen That Never Was - making a melodrama out of a very modern romance, review
Playboy prince marries American divorcee. Where have we heard that before? With the world abuzz at news of Prince Harry’s engagement to Meghan Markle, the airing of Wallis: the Queen That Never Was (Channel 5) was fortuitously timely. If only this production hadn’t been so cheerless.
Docudrama is rarely a format that works – the re-enactments are invariably cheesy, often undermining the credibility of the factual elements.
This feature-length film used Wallis Simpson’s diaries and letters to piece together her life. History may have branded her a gold-digger, but here she was painted as victim, not villain. Following in the footsteps of Faye Dunaway, Joely Richardson, Gillian Anderson and Andrea Riseborough – no pressure, then – Georgina Rich was the latest actress to play Mrs Simpson. Despite a mask-like blank face and a shaky southern accent, she did her best with a cumbersome script.
The male performances, however, made Rich look Oscar-winning. Alex Avery played Edward VIII as a tantrum-prone toddler, stamping his foot and threatening to abdicate if he wasn’t allowed to watch Peppa Pig. David Wilkinson’s George V was even worse. Both actors conveyed emotion by merely cranking up the volume. There was so much shouting, it was like a sepia-tinted edition of MasterChef.
This felt like a melodramatic afternoon biopic plonked into prime time, and nowhere near in the same league as Netflix’s sumptuous series The Crown. It was more reminiscent of Channel 4 parody The Windsors. Between the reconstructions, talking heads including Nicky Haslam, Anne de Courcy and Lady Colin Campbell popped up to fill in the historical gaps.
When stage veteran Linda Marlowe took over to play the Duchess of Windsor in her twilight years – a frail widow suffering from dementia, endlessly reliving her past – it became rather affecting. Unfortunately, by then, most viewers would have long since nodded off or lost patience. I just hope that the new royal happy couple weren’t watching. Ms Markle might have found her feet getting chilly.