Is free-range parenting safe? Experts weigh in on the parenting style that encourages independence

For some, the phrase "free-range parenting" conjures images of parents letting their children run amuck without supervision or intervention. Left home alone or allowed to walk to school or walk to the park alone, free-range kids have made the news for a variety of reasons over the years. But parents like Lenore Skenazy say it's a frequent misconception that free-range parenting focuses on child neglect or a lack of parental supervision. In fact, the New York mom says those popular beliefs could not be further from the truth.

Skenazy, author of Free Range Kids and co-founder of Let Grow, a non-profit organization dedicated to helping parents raise independent kids, received national media attention for being "America's Worst Mom" when she let her 9 year old ride the New York City subway alone.

Skenazy defines free-range parenting as "rejecting the idea that this generation of kids is in constant peril." When she was a child, walking to her friends house wasn't out of the question like it is for many children today. Skenazy says it's not that free range parents don't care about their kids, it's the opposite.

According to Skenazy, who hosts the reality TV show World's Worst Mom, where she helps parents who she deems "extremely overprotective" change their parenting style, the idea behind free-range parenting is that parents understand the world isn't as dangerous as others and the media make it out to be. They also believe kids have enough street smarts to be left on their own but are seldom ever given the chance to utilize them.

"It's good for kids to have some independence," Skenazy tells Yahoo Life. "It's good for them to solve some problems on their own and see their friends and have a life that is connected to you but not under or constantly supervised by you."

Skenazy isn't the only parent who adds free-range parenting concepts into their family dynamic.

For parents like Stephanie Lips, the idea of letting her children practice independence was something that came naturally since that's how she was raised. The parents closest to her were also not bothered by it. "Not a single parent questioned what I was doing," she shares. "We were all parenting the same way — the way we had been parented — wanting to go out to play first thing and only coming in when it was dark."

Lips says when her son, now 22, was 7, she didn't think twice about him running out the door shortly after breakfast to knock on the doors of his friends. They'd bike and skate throughout their neighborhood, setting up games of street hockey then running into her backyard to play baseball and jump in the pool afterward.

Similar to Lips, Dan Emery, owner of NYC Guitar School, incorporated elements of free-range parenting into his children's lives when they were younger. "I'd give my kids and their friends a few bucks to go get pizza down the street on their own while I had a meeting," Emery says. "I'd put them in charge of doing their own laundry instead of doing their laundry for them."

While the concept may make helicopter parents or parents who practice other parenting styles scratch their heads, there are ways to slowly integrate aspects of free-range parenting into your own child-rearing practices.

Think about the future when parenting your kids

When deciding whether or not to incorporate elements of free-range parenting into your kid's lives, it's important to consider the future benefits.

"Free-range children often are quite independent, resilient and good at problem-solving," says Bethany Cook, author of For What It's Worth: A Perspective on How to Thrive and Survive Parenting Ages 0 – 2. "Children raised in this parenting style are more apt to be successful with the challenges of adulthood."

Emery agrees, saying years later, his children thanked him for giving them independence when they were younger. "They told me they loved how they were allowed to take long walks. They feel really good today having known how to do their own laundry since they were very young. They appreciated that my wife and I encouraged them to have their own relationships with teachers and mentors and they liked earning their own grades and results," says Emery.

Be aware of the consequences

While there are many pros to free-range parenting, society isn't fully comfortable the idea so it's important to be cognisant of laws and other protocols your state has in place about leaving children unattended, says Dr. Harvey Karp, a pediatrician and CEO of Happiest Baby.

"Each state has its own laws regarding what age children are allowed to be unattended … and those ages vary greatly." says Karp. "In the end, tune into what you feel is right for your child and get informed about the laws in your area."

Cook says it's also wise to think about psychological consequences that may arise due to society's lack of understanding of free-range parenting. "Society isn't as accepting of free-range parenting as a whole and sometimes the police or protective services are called to assess a family which can be traumatizing for both the children and parents," she adds.

Slow and steady wins the free-range race

You don't have to let your child take the subway on their own to be considered a free-range parent. It's perfectly OK to take baby steps, perhaps by starting with letting your child do one thing on their own.

"Let It Grow has a guide available online for parents who are interested in giving their kids some more freedom but don't really know where to start," Skenazy says. "It has projects for schools to send kids home with a homework assignment: Go home and do something new on your own."

This could be as small as knocking on a friend's door to play hopscotch outside or pouring their own bowl of cereal. "Free-range parenting is all about teaching and supporting independence in children," says Karp. "Here, parents allow their kiddos to do things on their own, but with expectations in place and guardrails to lean on. This style of parenting can do a great deal to promote problem-solving, confidence and even creativity."

Have a good parenting support system

Surrounding yourself with other parents who practice free-range parenting can make it easier for you to implement it in your own life without fear of judgment. Emery says this was key when he was raising his own free-range kids.

"Parenting can be really hard and it's easy for me as a parent to feel like I'm not doing enough or that I'm doing things wrong," he shares. "Other parents feel this, too, so I've felt a lot of interest from other parents in our approach. I've learned a lot and felt supported by other parents who have a similar philosophy."

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