Whitney Port Gives Update on Surrogacy Journey After Two Miscarriages
Originally appeared on E! Online
While Whitney Port may be just beginning this next phase of her fertility journey, she's hardly staring at a blank page before her.
"Now I'm like, I've been through this," Port explained in an exclusive interview with E! News at the June 29 Bustle B. Happy event. "I can handle the questions and the comments and the opinions from everybody else."
But when she first opened up about the series of miscarriages she has experienced, "It was hard for me," Port acknowledged. "And I would get all these comments and questions: 'Are you doing this?' Or, 'Have you seen this doctor?' And I would get really confused, and then a little bit paralyzed. But now I just feel a lot more empowered having been through it."
And the 39-year-old Hills alum has been through it, having turned to surrogacy after withstanding three miscarriages and a chemical pregnancy only for the surrogate to endure two losses of her own.
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Concerned that "there might be something going on either with the surrogate or with our embryos," as her husband Tim Rosenman put it on her Whit Whit podcast last November, the couple decided to pause on plans to expand their family.
"I took a little breather from the fertility situation," Port explained to E! at the June 29 event that saw Bustle team with the All-New 2025 Toyota Camry to host a day centered around finding life's joys. "I decided to take a few months off from thinking about it and talking about it and proactively doing anything about it so that I could take care of myself."
And now that she's back to living her life with arms wide open, Port is all in on giving 6-year-old Sonny a sibling.
The family are set to spend a large chunk of their summer on the East Coast, with planned visits to Cape Cod, Nantucket and to see Rosenman's mom in Vermont. During that time, Port said she'll be working "with this amazing doctor in New York."
"After a bunch of tries here, with both myself and a surrogate, we're going to do another round of egg retrieval in New York," Port said of Spring Fertility's Dr. Catha Fischer. "And in the meantime, looking for a surrogate for the next transfer."
Also on the agenda: Giving herself a break.
Asked her advice for others going through a fertility journey, Port stressed, "Try to take the guilt completely off the table. So many women feel like they want to do the whole thing through and feel less about themselves because they may not be able to carry or it doesn't happen for them. And I just want women to know that it doesn't make them any less of a woman."
Though Port is grateful that she was able to carry Sonny, she doesn't feel it's something she needs to experience again.
"It wasn't like I felt more connected to Sonny through my pregnancy or felt more connected to him when I gave birth," she explained. "I really started to fully connect with him when he was a toddler. So, I really want women to understand that."
As for those trying to help loved ones through the process, "The key is just supporting them by listening and validating their feelings as opposed to trying to solve the problem for them," Port shared. "So many people, when they hear people are struggling, want to solve the issue and are like, 'Have you done this? Have you tried this? Have you done this test?' And coming from that place, makes people feel really insecure about the journey that they're on."
Instead, she advises meeting them where they're at.
"You can ask from the get-go, 'Would you like me to try to help you figure this out? Or do you want me to just sit and be there for you? Because I'm open to whatever,'" Port suggested. "And I think coming from that place is really important."
As for her journey, Port is glad to speak out knowing that it might help others feel less alone.
"Because women feel like they're less of a woman or they compare themselves to other women that could do it," she said of the pains associated with pregnancy loss. "And I hate that. It makes me sick inside that anybody would feel that way. And so I feel a responsibility to talk about that."
For Port, part of the process includes working through the pain of each loss.
"Even though you didn't necessarily know this person you're grieving, who this person could have been and what your life could have been," she said, "I think that it's really important to take time to feel that grief and to not get right back into the swing of things."
While she doesn't judge those who cope by filling their schedules with distractions, "I do think that sometimes that can just shove things down and put Band-Aids on things," she said, which is why her preferred coping method involves relinquishing any control over the situation.
"It's important not go into a shame spiral, not to blame yourself, there's likely nothing that you could have done," she stressed. "But when you really think about it, we have very, very little control when it comes to this. So, really paying attention to that and taking any of the responsibility and blame off of yourself is so important."
Port is just one of many stars who have shared their experience with pregnancy loss in an effort to help others. See which other celebrities have been open about their fertility journeys.
—Reporting by Amanda Champagne-Meadows.
Whitney Port
In January 2021, The Hills: New Beginnings star and podcaster revealed she recently suffered a pregnancy loss—her second in less than two years.
"Timmy and I weren't sure if we still wanted to put this out there," Whitney shared on social media. "I wasn't sure I wanted to relive the pain. However, this time around, I felt differently about the situation. Last time, I don't think I was ready to have another child, and I had different feelings about the miscarriage. This time, I really connected. I was actually excited and enjoying the pregnancy. I envisioned it all. I'm sad but I'm ok and we will try again."
Meghan Markle
In a raw op-ed published Nov. 25, 2020, by the New York Times, the Duchess of Sussex revealed that she had suffered a miscarriage in July, realizing that something was wrong when she experienced a sudden, devastating cramp one morning.
"I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second," Meghan wrote.
Identified in her byline as a "mother, feminist and advocate," the 39-year-old, who along with husband Prince Harry withdrew from senior royal life earlier this year and moved with son Archie Harrison to Southern California, reflected on how the simple question of "Are you OK?"—which a journalist memorably inquired of her on camera during a September 2019 interview—was more important than ever these days.
Meghan reflected, "Sitting in a hospital bed, watching my husband's heart break as he tried to hold the shattered pieces of mine, I realized that the only way to begin to heal is to first ask, 'Are you OK?'"
Christina Perri
Barely 11 months after opening up about a previous miscarriage, the "Jar of Hearts" singer, pregnant again, candidly shared in November 2020 that she had been hospitalized because the baby was "having an issue." Sadly, two weeks later she revealed that she had lost the child.
"she was born silent after fighting so hard to make it to our world. she is at peace now and will live forever in our hearts," Perri, who's also mom to daughter Carmella Costabile with husband Paul Costabile, wrote Nov. 24 on Instagram.
Hilaria Baldwin
Sharing her April 2019 miscarriage as it happened wasn't easy for the mom of four, but, as she explained on Today, "I wanted to come out and speak about it because it's something that so many people deal with and, as women, we're trained to deal with it silently." That simply wasn't an option for her, the yogi noted in a Glamour essay: "Critics say something so personal should stay quiet. But I want woman to know if that's not serving you, if that's not the way that you'll feel better, you don't have to do that."
She followed her own advice after suffering a second pregnancy loss in November 2019. "We are very sad to share that today we learned that our baby passed away at 4 months," she wrote on social media. "We also want you to know that even though we are not OK right now, we will be." In September, the mom to Carmen, 7, Rafael, 5, Leo, 4, and Romeo, 2, gave birth to her and husband Alec Baldwin's fifth child, son Eduardo. "He is perfect," she shared in the announcement, "and we couldn't be happier."
Jana Kramer
Now a mom to daughter Jolie, 4, and son Jace, 22 months, the singer-actress revealed she debated sharing the story of her 2017 miscarriage "for the exact reason why it's a silent struggle. I don't want I'm sorry or sympathy. I just don't want to feel alone." More importantly, though, she didn't want others to feel adrift: "For the women out there who have miscarried in the past and need support and a place to grieve their little one lost or to those in the thick of it like me who are currently grieving and in pain, let us all be there for each other."
Lauren Burnham
Having so easily fallen pregnant with now-15-month-old daughter Alessi, Burnham and husband Arie Luyendyk Jr. assumed their journey to baby number two would be equally as amazing. "A little over a month ago, we got the most exciting news and we found out that we were pregnant with our second baby," they shared in a caption for a YouTube video this past May. "We made so many plans. We bought a new house with more space, we planned how we wanted to tell you all and we envisioned our future with Alessi's little brother/sister. We were planning to share our journey through pregnancy with you, but unfortunately we didn't get the happy story we had hoped for." Crushed by the turn of events, they decided to open up in the hopes that others can feel a "little less lonely."
Brittany Lutz
Entirely thrilled to discover she and actor husband Kellan Lutz were expecting again this summer, the surprise hasn't full dulled the pain from losing her first child when she was six months along this past February. "You know, obviously it was a surprise losing our daughter at the beginning of the year," she shared in an Instagram video. "That was tough, and still is. There still are hard moments. We definitely went through a lot and I still would like to share my journey in some way that I can in the future."
Lauren Sorrentino
After husband Mike Sorrentino was released from prison in September 2019, the Jersey Shore couple was thisclose to having all of their dreams come true. "The night he came home we actually conceived," she shared on a Nov. 18 episode of Strahan, Sara & Keke. "When I found out we were pregnant, I felt like this is why we went through all these challenges for years and that it was our time and it was our blessing."
Then, "at about six-and-a-half, seven weeks, I miscarried," she shared. Having kept fans apprised of their journey from their wedding to Mike's jail sentence for tax evasion, "I wanted to share it for other people going through it and, you know, just be honest so that I can kind of heal through the process."
Claire Holt
When she miscarried in early 2018, the actress found herself spending hours scouring the Internet looking for other women who understood her pain: "Someone to tell me that the depression and hopelessness were normal. That it wasn't my fault. That I wasn't broken forever," she shared in an Instagram post. Finding a community of people who could tell her just that inspired her to go public with her story. "It breaks my heart to think that losing a baby feels like something we have to keep to ourselves," continued the star, now mom to 18-month-old son James and weeks-old daughter Elle. "Why is it any different than the death of a loved one? How is it any less meaningful? Here is what I have learned as I begin to crawl out of the dark hole: support is everything."
Katie Lowes
Though the Scandal alum calls the loss of her first pregnancy "a very painful, triggering topic," she notes, "like so many triggering and painful topics in motherhood, they really, really need to be talked about." When she initially learned there was no heartbeat, her reaction, the mom to 3-year-old Albee recalled on her podcast, Katie's Crib, "Was like, 'Okay, let's Olivia Pope the situation—let's fix it. Let's make the schedule. Let's get to the hospital....When can I start trying again?'" But after her dilation and curettage procedure, she shared, "What happens is you have a major hormonal drop-off. And I think I was massively sad for about three months and I was only pregnant for three months."
Nicole Kidman
"The loss of a miscarriage is not talked about enough," Kidman offered as reason for opening up about both the miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy she endured during her nearly decade-long marriage to Tom Cruise. "That's massive grief to certain women. There's an enormous amount of pain and an enormous amount of joy on the other side of it."
Carrie Underwood
Three miscarriages separated the arrivals of Underwood's sons Isaiah, 5, and Jacob, 20 months. "In the beginning it was like, 'Okay, God, we know this is, just wasn't Your timing. And that is all right. We will bounce back and figure our way through it," she shared in a revealing 2018 interview with CBS Sunday Morning, but she soon found herself struggling to cope as the losses continued. "I have this amazing life. Like, really, what can I complain about? I can't," she reasoned of her successful career and happy 10-year marriage to hockey player Mike Fisher. "Can I be mad? No. And I got mad."
Michelle Obama
When the former First Lady suffered a miscarriage before welcoming her first daughter Malia Obama in 1998, "I felt lost and alone and I felt like I failed because I didn't know how common miscarriages were because we don't talk about them," she shared in an ABC News interview last year. "We sit in our own pain, thinking that somehow we're broken." In an effort to do away with that misnomer, she wrote about her struggle and her experience using IVF to have Malia and 19-year-old Sasha Obama. "I think it's the worst thing that we do to each other as women—not share the truth about our bodies and how they work and how they don't work."
Beverley Mitchell
"I talk about it often," the actress wrote on Instagram of her experience losing twins in 2018, "because I don't want to hide the fact that it happened, I had a miscarriage. I am not looking for sympathy just the acknowledgment that it happened, because what hurts the most is the dismissal of it." Mom to daughter Kenzie, 7, and son Hutton, 5, she is "incredibly grateful" for her family with husband Michael Cameron, she continued in her March 2019 post, but she's learned to let herself grieve for what could have been: "In my heart I know we are not complete, I so strongly feel there is another little soul waiting to join our family." She wasn't wrong. The actress gave birth to her third child, daughter Mayzel, this summer.
Kate Mara
No doubt the actress was thrilled when she learned once again she was carrying husband Jamie Bell's baby—a daughter they welcomed in May 2019—but having miscarried once before, she found the experience nerve-wracking and bittersweet. "I was so excited," she shared in June 2019 on Dr. Berlin's Informed Pregnancy podcast, "but also sad that we weren't as excited as we were the first time, because that was clear that it was a very different dynamic."
Joy-Anna Duggar
Experiencing the loss of her second pregnancy when she was midway through meant the reality star had to deliver the stillborn baby girl she and husband Austin Forsyth named Annabell Elise. "We only had her for 20 weeks, Life is fragile and precious," she wrote in an Instagram post. "So thankful the Lord gave her to us for that short time! She will be in our hearts forever!" This past August, the parents to 2-year-old Gideon welcomed daughter Evelyn.
Shay Mitchell
The Pretty Little Liars alum used her 2018 loss as a teaching moment for her nearly 29 million Instagram followers. After revealing in a New Year's Day 2019 post that she had "lost the child of my hopes and dreams," she called on others to show empathy. "In the spirt of the new year, I think that we need to remember that we are all on this journey together—in good times and in bad—and to remind ourselves that we seldom really know or understand the struggles and hardships that other people are going through. So, for 2019, let's all try to be a little more compassionate, empathetic, patient and thoughtful with each other." The year turned out all right for the Béis Travel founder, she and boyfriend Matte Babel welcoming daughter Atlas last October.
Meghan McCain
In the earliest stages of her grief, The View cohost blamed her 2019 miscarriage on herself. "Perhaps it was wrong of me to choose to be a professional woman, working in a high-pressure, high-visibility, high-stress field," she wrote in a New York Times Magazine story. "I blamed my age, I blamed my personality, I blamed everything and anything a person could think of, and what followed was a deep opening of shame." She realized eventually, however, there was nothing she could have done: "Life and death are beyond our power." She and husband Ben Domenech, are now parents to newborn daughter Liberty.
Whitney Port
Having decided to ditch her birth control and see what happened in early 2019, The Hills: New Beginnings star was still nervous when she learned she was expecting again, having undergone a a tough first pregnancy and struggling through her first year as a mom to 3-year-old Sonny. That anxiety soon gave way to sadness when she learned there was no heartbeat. "The amount of various emotions I felt in the past couple weeks have been extreme," she wrote on Instagram in July 2019, "from shock to sadness to relief, which then led to guilt for feeing that relief." Now, she continued, "I'm currently in the process of learning to accept that my feelings are valid no matter what they are."
Shawn Johnson
As a gold medal-winning athlete, the gymnast was used to putting on a brave face, but she felt compelled to share the pain of her 2017 miscarriage, after hearing from others. "I would just sit in front of the computer for hours, reading comments and stories," the Olympian, who welcomed daughter Drew in October 2019, told E! News, "and piece by piece, I kind of built this community that helped me get back on my feet." After witnessing her recovery, husband Andrew East agreed they should open up: "Since our community helped us so much, it's like a way for us to help them."
