Why 'Girl Dinners' Are Summer's Hottest Trend
What's for dinner?
If you've been on TikTok lately, the algorithm may have answered that question for you in an unexpected way (and with a song): girl dinner. The videos featuring aesthetically arranged snacks have racked up nearly 70 million views (and counting), but not everyone is toasting the trend with a glass of wine (alcoholic or zero-proof).
Some people contend that the gendered meal has a larger, more complicated meaning, both positive and negative. There's a lot to unpack here. Grab some snacks—or dinner, whatever you call it—and let's dig in.
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What Is Girl Dinner?
Essentially, it's a grown-up Lunchable—a plate of snacks like grapes, cheese and popcorn, perhaps with a glass of vino. It's an effortless dinner for devouring while binging Netflix (or reading a book or staring out the window) after a long day. Olivia Maher, an out-of-work showrunner's assistant currently impacted by the WGA strike, popularized the trend. (She told the New York Times the idea came to her on a hot-girl walk—a match made in TikTok heaven.)
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In a May video, Maher told her followers, "A girl just came on here and said how in medieval times, peasants had to eat nothing but bread and cheese and how awful that was," Maher said. "She was like, 'That's my ideal meal. This is my dinner."
The camera pans to an arrangement of grapes, two small slices of bread, cheese and a bottle of olives.
Sitch incoming! Thousands of users have followed up with their (similar) versions of the meal, sometimes with a catchy jingle and those four-point star emojis that often signify something is "magical." Some layouts include wine. Others have tons of popcorn or gummy rings. Generally, a girl dinner consists of a carb, a sweet and something salty. What that means is up to the individual woman. (Keep that in mind as we continue.)
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Why Is Girl Dinner Controversial?
Some people were quick to question the nutritional value of a girl dinner and link it to diet culture.
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"I am pro-girl-dinner. I get it. Girl dinner heals your soul, but some...look suspiciously low-cal," wrote the creator @siennabaluga.
Some commenters agreed, while others saw another side to the trend.
"Girl dinner is intuitive eating. If I'm not hungry for dinner, then I'm not hungry," said one.
Another creator, Seema Rao, an art historian who posts as @artlust, argued that gender roles have shaped how we see dinner.
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"A woman's place is supposed to be in the kitchen," Rao said in a video. "Being good at cooking. By the 1960s, you already see a shift."
Rao says single women in the 1960s and '70s were supposed to "have it all"—an expectation that was around long before Sheryl Sandberg came out with Lean In. They were supposed to have a career, search for a man and miraculously make dinner. Rao explains that these women went on to have kids, who picked up on these ideas (but also added on the pressure of being thin, like models in Calvin Klein videos). But women today are rejecting these ideas, Rao says.
"Their goals are different," Rao says. "They're not trying to snag a man. They want to be strong and healthy, and that is more about self-defining norms. So, women being proud of being strong or being proud that they are not cooking dinner are signs that we are changing previous norms."
The commenters gave Rao's take 5/5 stars, saying girl dinner is about self-care and enjoyment. It's a meal meant to be consumed by one person for her own enjoyment, not a man's or child's.
"Girl dinner is the best—pleasing no one but myself and indulging any cravings," wrote one.
"This," replied someone else. "Also, on the topic of girl dinner: I worry that the implication is that we won’t dedicate time to caring for ourselves unless it’s for others."
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One Woman's Take (Mine)
In addition to being a Lunchable fan as a child, I enjoyed Starbucks bento boxes as an adult. My favorite included apple slices, cheese, peanut butter and bread. Years before "girl dinner" became a thing, I made DIY versions with cheese, grapes and peanut butter on a whole-grain English muffin for lunch and dinner on days when I felt swamped, needed to pull together something with whatever I had on hand or wanted to shake up my normal sandwich-and-salad routine.
The meal was quick, satisfying and nutritionally balanced. I got fruit, protein, carbs and calcium, even though the plate was a hodge-podge. I was full. It was also far better than what I do these days, which I guess we can call "mom dinner," aka eating what my kid leaves behind on his high chair tray.
I will always hold space and understanding toward diet-culture concerns. But if "girl dinner" is something that works for busy or tired women and they're getting the nutrition and satisfaction they need, that's great. If it doesn't work for someone else, that's also perfectly fine.
I've been listening to a lot of podcasts lately in which people argue that we need to stop calling food "fuel"—that food is social, celebratory and enjoyable. Fair enough. I agree. But it's unfair to say, "Food should be enjoyable" and then tell women that they "can't enjoy food like that" if it's what they like and fills them up.
So whatever you call your meal, I hope it fills you both physically and mentally.